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Friday, June 1, 2007

Frankly, Scarlett…

posted by on June 1 at 12:17 PM

The whispers began yesterday with the following email, which was kindly forwarded to me by pretty, pretty David Schmader:

Adrian, Have you heard anything of this? xoxo, dave

Begin forwarded message:

From: REDACTED
Date: May 31, 2007 8:46:06 PM PDT
To: lastdays@thestranger.com
Subject: Celebrity I saw Yous

… I think I saw that really gay blond queen from “Project Runway”downtown..is he in town for something?

Brad

Frankly, I have zero clue what the hell Brad (or anyone else) is talking about. Big blond queens? “Project Runway”? Whatevs. But, lo! Some light has at last been shed! Behold:

Hey Adrian! Yesterday I had a D-list Celebrity Sighting on 5th Avenue. I stepped from of my office doors and standing fifteen feet out of my reach was “Project Runway’s” Austin Scarlett. His petite 100-pound body, perfectly quaffed blond locks, and over-sized sunglasses got my knees a knockin’. Don’t ask me why, maybe deep down I have a thing for dandy fops. As we stood there our glances met. Slowly he lifted his sunglasses up and began to give me elevator eyes. Again…knee’s were a knockin’. As we gazed into each others souls, I knew this was my moment to approach him. Unfortunately my knockin’ knees froze on me. The sunglasses came down and with a major flip of the neck Austin sashayed out of my life. Not a beat was missed as he headed off to I’m sure one of Seattle’s high end clothing stores on 5th Avenue or perhaps The Gap. Bravo Austin Scarlett. Bravo!

Cheers!
Joey

And there you have it! Apparently the city is overrun with the dandyfopping queen from “Project Runway”. Be careful not to step in any.

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Have You Seen this “Man”?

RSS icon Comments

1

Woo Project Runway!

Tim Gunn is fucking hot. If I were not bound by marriage, I would call all of Tim Gunn's arms (and by arms, I mean dick, not 'arms') to rigorously fuck my shithole into oblivion.

...fucking fuck, I have a way with making everything sound nasty and cheap. BWAAANANANAN!!1!

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 1, 2007 12:50 PM
2

Ahhhh Gap is now high end shopping? YIKES! That is pretty sad when you think about it.

Posted by Just Me | June 1, 2007 1:05 PM
3

I had a D list celeb sighting yesterday too. Sanjaya on 2nd and Columbia circa 5:00pm. Is he from here or something?

Posted by hunh? | June 1, 2007 1:34 PM
4

Austin Scarlett is on the B-and-a-half list, in our household at least. If you haven't seen the season he was on, that is actually the least gay picture I've ever seen of him.

Posted by Fnarf | June 1, 2007 1:38 PM
5

Would someone please alert Schmader?

First, that is a LOUSY photo of Mr. Scarlett. Bleah.

AND, he's part of the reason PR was such a popular show. Totally fun to watch and incidentally, a very talented designer.

http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/season/1/bio/Austin_Scarlett

Posted by scarlet | June 1, 2007 1:45 PM
6

i've been browsing bridal salon websites, so i can tell you why he's here:
http://www.marcellaslaboutique.com/

(scroll to the middle of the page, on the right side).

looks like there's a champagne party tonight if you act fast. and, um, want to try on his bridal gowns.

Posted by bride-to-be | June 1, 2007 2:12 PM
7

@Just Me: The use of the boolean operator OR causes me to think the author was not characterizing the GAP as high-end, but merely suggesting that Scarlett might have chosen the GAP over other, more pricey, haberdasheries. Just sayin', yo.

Posted by narf. fat guy. | June 1, 2007 2:27 PM
8

For a better look at the glory of Mr. Scarlett, try this: http://projectrungay.blogspot.com/2006/11/ladies-and-gentlemen.html

If that's not enough, click on the "austin scarlett" tag on that entry and just keep readin'.

Posted by Fnarf | June 1, 2007 4:52 PM
9

Listen to me. If you are a man and you want to get into bed with that thing, you are not a fag. You are straight. So stop pretending. Gay men do not want to fuck women. Period. Amen.

Well, alright. I have been jonesing for a little vagina lately, but I want an actual woman. And her boyfriend/husband/lover. Package deal. No chiffon-wearing, 100 pound, hairless chihauhauas for me. Not even if they come with a real live vagina.

I'm a paradox. I know.

Posted by Bi at best | June 1, 2007 5:37 PM
10

Is that Jm J. Bullock?

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11

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