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Monday, June 4, 2007

Do You Feel Sorry For Paris? Not Even After THIS?!

posted by on June 4 at 9:50 AM

As we know, Paris Hilton has started her 23-ish day jail sentence to pay for her crimes against humanity. But I’m not sure being coddled in the celebrity wing of a minimum security prison is going to right all the wrongs she’s committed against the universe. That’s why it’s a good thing we have sexy potty-mouth SARAH SILVERMAN on the planet to keep the world in balance. Check out the KER-SLAM Sarah puts on Paris at the MTV Movie Awards—and oh, my god—check out the look on Paris’ face.

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Not only do I not feel sorry for Paris, I LOVE Sarah Silverman THAT MUCH MORE!

It's 23 fucking DAYS, for Christ's sake, not 23 years in max security or anything. Jesus bitch, quit thinking you're above the law and it'll never be an issue again, k? bye.

Posted by monkey | June 4, 2007 10:00 AM

oohhh.....ooohhhhh......uhhh.....oh, jesus....ummmmm...

Posted by adrian! | June 4, 2007 10:04 AM

There wasn't enough Sarah, and way too much Bruce Willis. But then again, any Bruce Willis is too much.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | June 4, 2007 10:15 AM

I don't particularly feel sorry for Paris, but I *do* feel sorry for anybody sitting next to her, or obligated to make eye contact with her during that. Awwwk-waaard.

Posted by Christin | June 4, 2007 10:18 AM

Silverman is challenging, but I think she needs/has to work with a script in order to be funny. I could be wrong, but wasn't she weirdly absent during the Sasquatch circus. What was the final verdict on that? She couldn't take the 'heat of the moment' (Asia reference). God, am I beginning to be more of an asshole than Hagar?

Like when I was in LA having dinner with some people, including that writer for the Geiko sitcom. I picked up my friend's cell phone off the table and was ready to do some filming of a guy who was talking about how he would propose a toast or something, and the fucking writer chastizes me for putting the guy on the spot. He said, that he has to prepare. I was like, WTF? Hollywood is bonkers and has been infiltrated with calculated mindsets, Namely when it's on film. Big deal. Ok, sorry. But still, Silverman can write some pretty nifty insults (probably when she's drinking champagne on her condo balcony).

Posted by Garrett | June 4, 2007 10:28 AM

How drunk is Jack Nicholson?

Posted by Fnarf | June 4, 2007 10:43 AM

Sarah is a charlatan. A no talent hack. This only proves further that the readers of the Stranger are 14 year olds (or have the mentality of 14 year olds). The next generation is DOOMED.

Posted by So Sad | June 4, 2007 10:50 AM

So Sad: Fuck you, anonymous dickshit. Heh.

I just wrote about that clip in my blog! I was all alone in my house last night watching the MTV Movie Awards (don't judge me) and literally said, "ouch!" out loud after I saw Paris Hilton's face after that. You can tell that Sarah feels bad about it too, which almost makes it funnier.

I love SS, but I don't know how I feel about her performance last night. It felt... out of place.

Posted by Carollani | June 4, 2007 10:56 AM

With all due respect to SS, I agree with the sentiment that she's hit or miss, and can actually be painfully unfunny at times. But, so are a lot of widely-regarded-as-hilarious comedians.

And she's fucking Jimmy Kimmel, isn't she? That definitely brings her down a peg in my book. She's way too hot for his ass.

As for Paris? Meh. Who cares. I'm torn between commending Slog for posting over-done Paris coverage because as lame as it is, the whole country is glued to it, so its arguably relevant in a lowest common denominator-type way, and denouncing Slog for posting over-done Paris coverage because is panders to the church of celeb skank lowest common denominator rag addicts who don't appreciate QUALITY Slog posts like Chuck's bit about disliking pregnant sex scenes in movies.

**Note: I bought People AND US Weekly on the plane yesterday, and enjoy pregnant sex scenes in movies. So, I think I'm commenting for commenting's sake, here.

Carry on.

Posted by jackie treehorn | June 4, 2007 11:19 AM

If Paris hadn't been born rich she would either be street walker or working at Safeway.

Posted by elswinger | June 4, 2007 11:36 AM

Sarah is a bore.

Posted by Jennifer | June 4, 2007 12:33 PM

I had to watch it twice. What's great about Sarah Silverman is that something had to be said. The fact that Paris Hilton is at some crappy fake awards show when she's going to jail that night is totally warped. That's funny in itself and the penis bars jokes are gravy. SS is out there, and not everything works and sometimes it's funnier the third or fourth time. But she's funny and probably in a more talented way than Borat. She has one line in her movie about being raped by a doctor that I still can't believe was in there, and I watched it 5 months ago. It's tongue in cheek, but she loses a few points for doing the Maxim crap. A woman can be more than just a lay, she can be funny. Wow, such provocative stuff that they do it once a year. Men's magazine's just cannot seem to process this incredible development.

Posted by vegetable lasagna | June 4, 2007 12:58 PM

paris is a self-centered attention whore who deserves to spend more than a month in jail reflecting on her life choices.

but that was mean. and not particularly clever.

i applaud ms. hilton for her haughty demeanor. she took it, and at least feigned dignity while probably fuming inside. if you were her, would you have laughed at being called a whore? probably not.

Posted by maxsolomon | June 4, 2007 1:00 PM

@ 12: I read that Maxim interview, her responses seemed candid and as a whole it was amusing. Few girls can make gorilla costumes hot, but she manages. I don't see why anything about it should make her "lose points."

Posted by Aislinn | June 4, 2007 1:03 PM

I thankfully happened to tune into this horrid show last night just in time to catch this exquisite burn on Paris Hilton. Rude, mean and not clever. Awesome.

Posted by Sally Struthers Lawnchair | June 4, 2007 1:22 PM

@14: the fact that you read Maxim probably makes this a waste of keystrokes, but the whole premise is that a woman can be funny too. That premise is not the least bit shocking to anyone but some twit who spends half the day jacking off to Maxim. Thus, the fact that she is participating in a 'she's hot and funny' article makes her lose points. However you spin it, it strikes me as pandering to the Maxim-suspended-in-adolescence crowd who are still try to make peace with this startingly discovery. However, if you find @14 that there is still some interesting info in Maxim worth 'reading', then I guess you might see it her being helpful in alerting you to a new development that might require a change in your approach to tricking women into bed.

Posted by vegetable lasagna | June 4, 2007 1:24 PM

As a straight guy, I just love living in a country where we ostracize women who seem to enjoy sex.

Posted by Sean | June 4, 2007 1:46 PM

@16: Uh, vitriol, much? I don't think we've met, but for the record I am a heterosexual female and I don't "read Maxim" as much as I "thumb through it when I sort the mail that comes for people that no longer live in my house," and I'm certainly not looking for "a new development that might require a change in my approach to tricking women into bed."

I don't "trick" anyone into bed, personally, nor am I tricked, and the idea that women are so impressionable that they just fall into bed with anyone that uses the right combination of words and gestures is less perpetuated by sophomoric men's magazines than it is by people like you who think women are victimized by glossy pieces of paper.

Sarah Silverman's humor is very masculine in a lot of senses, like it or not, and that she "plays in the boy's club" is a reasonable basis for an article.

Lastly, it is not Sarah Silverman's job to make you feel empowered, or to gain magical feminism points. It is her job to promote her show and bring attention to her media persona. An article in Maxim, who's target demographic overlaps almost entirely with that of Comedy Central, is in her best business interests. If she doesn't feel degraded by being in sexy photos, then they are not degrading.

Posted by Aislinn | June 4, 2007 2:57 PM

@18: "If she doesn't feel degraded by being in sexy photos, then they are not degrading." Thanks Paglia. Being a woman does not mean that you speak for all women. Also, you entirely missed the point about sophomoric men's magazines. You are probably correct about the target audience and that's probably why she did it, and that's why she's loses points. Finally, women and girls are victimized by glossy pieces of paper, just not in the way that you are describing.

Posted by vegetable lasagna | June 4, 2007 4:18 PM

while i agree women's magazines are code for women's labotomies, i also think this whole "cunty earth tone feminism" is laughable and inneffective.

also doing a men's magazine is engaging people who might not be open to your viewpoint but now are more aware of it. lasagna just wants everyone to accept her point of view on faith alone without any engagement on her part. shes just as bad as a docile woman that expects things to be taken care of by a man.

lasagna, you attract more bees with honey than vinegar. drop the persona, engage some frat boys, and drop knowledge. at least you tried. as long as it keeps you from attacking a strong woman like aislinn for not being feminist enough, im for it.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 4, 2007 4:56 PM

I'm hiding behind a persona and should be reaching out to the other side Bellevue Ave? What this 'whole "cunty earth tone feminism"'? Where in the world are women's rights improving exactly? Political crrectness is not helpful is debate, but using the term 'cunty' says something to me about your persona.

I'm obviously not bothering to address your 'points'. In light of recent SCOTUS decisions, I'm sure a flurry of 'is feminism dead?' articles are coming. At least I hope they are and that someone might use your delightful words in an article "Is that whole "cunty earth tone feminism" movement dead?".

Posted by vegetable lasagna | June 4, 2007 5:12 PM

where are they improving where women are openly hostile towards the people they need to convince to join them in their beliefs?

let me remind you, Im a man who is status quo and you have to convince me to relinquish the status quo. you dont do that by avoiding my points, rationale, or anything. i dont need to be nice to you because i am the one with the power.

why cant a women use her body and looks to forward her career and business? why must women be genderless and without any of the joys of being a woman to be taken seriously? why do you demand equality absent acknowledgment of the differences of genders?

I support women's rights, the ability to do whatever they want, I think women are great. I think feminism as it currently stands has an image problem.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 4, 2007 5:48 PM

Video not available?

Posted by where is it? | June 4, 2007 8:22 PM

How could you feel sorry for this face?..

Posted by Concerned | June 9, 2007 5:10 PM

How could you not feel sorry for this face?..
Blame it on her parents. Feel sorry for Paris for the parents that she has :(

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