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Sunday, June 24, 2007

An Open Letter to the Levi’s Store, Marketing and/or Packaging Division

posted by on June 24 at 23:00 PM

Dear Levi’s Store,

Your bags suck. Are they new?

The bags I’m talking about have these very long “handles” made of thin rope. Because I’m a cowboy, I think. If I carry the bag by these handles, it drags on the ground. I’m a person of average proportions—not particularly short-legged or long-torsoed, that I know of.


Not only does it drag on the ground, but I keep kicking the bag! When I kick it (or if a light breeze catches it, or if it bumps into a pile of dog shit) the bag spins around, twisting the sisal handles, threatening rope burn, pinching, and slivers.

I guess maybe the idea was to carry this bag over the shoulder, like a big purse. The problem with that concept is I’m a guy. Isn’t Levi’s all about dudes and guys and rivets? Dudes don’t like to carry bags over their shoulder by thin rope handles, with the little half-height bag part hanging along their side. Maybe I’m wrong, but does this look right to you?


In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I already had a pretty strong aversion to carrying things before I encountered your bag. I hate carrying things, particularly shopping bags. Instead of unfairly biasing me against your new bag, though, I like to think that this makes me something of an expert on how bags can suck. Yours sucks a lot.

So yeah, that’s it. Fire your bag people.


RSS icon Comments


That does look annoying. Wat ever happened to the nice solid bag with well attached and thick handles that would allow you to carry things with little trouble. Yet another reason to buy things over the internets so my idiot of a mail carrier can deliver it to the neighbors or just not deliver it all making me go the fucking post office to pick it up. If murder were legal he would be first on the list.

Posted by Giffy | June 24, 2007 11:10 PM

Maybe women are the new men, maybe even firefighters. 11:00, how about those wild ones in California and the Kenai Peninsula.

Posted by darius | June 24, 2007 11:21 PM

Anthony Hecht, welcome to the man purse!
(Or murse if you prefer)

Posted by Jonah S | June 24, 2007 11:24 PM

The Apple Store does the same thing, only it's bags look more like a backpack or laundry sack, not quite as purse-y, at least IMHO. I still don't like em though. Give us a simple bag people!


Posted by brandon | June 25, 2007 12:02 AM

Don't fire them, just tell them to shorten the rope. But I have to say that the last time I shopped at the Levi's store, my bag didn't look like that one does. My bag was plastic, which is not good for the environment.

Posted by lawrence clark | June 25, 2007 2:11 AM

how about

dear levi's store,

when are you going to make clothes that don't suck or fall apart again. you used to make your jeans in america. they were made by people that knew how jeans should fit. now two pairs of the exact same # style will be made in sweatshops in thailand and haiti, and neither will fit correctly. what's up with that Levi's? could you fix that and come back to america so we can have decent jeans again? and so we don't feel guilty about your clothes being made by children whom you are not paying a fair wage?


Posted by terry miller | June 25, 2007 7:51 AM

Go Terry.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | June 25, 2007 8:12 AM

Stop Terry.

For the record, the ones I got were heche in Mexico.

Posted by Anthony Hecht | June 25, 2007 8:18 AM

Thank you for bitching about the bag. It's everyday annoyances like this that drive me crazy.

We don't need to get all arty with the stupid bag handle. Just a sturdy bag handle is fine. They've been making bags for hundreds of years that work fine. If it's not broken, please don't fix it.


Cliche Brown

Posted by bag | June 25, 2007 8:33 AM

Gee Anthony, that is tough man. But speaking of tough: at a hotel in Iraq today 30 people were blowen to pieces in Dan Savages glorious war. Over 2,000,000 million Iraq citizens have left their homes and fled to Syria. But as Dan would say-FREEDOM IS ON THE MARCH!

Posted by Bush licks | June 25, 2007 8:45 AM

both plastic and paper are bad for our environment. so do what i do:
leave house w/ no pants on.
purchase pants at store.
wear them home; your hands are now free to carry other things like the bulky iPhone.

Posted by brad | June 25, 2007 9:04 AM

I was reading these comments about this bag handle and got to #9 when I wondered, how much longer 'til some douche mentions Iraq.

Posted by sniggles | June 25, 2007 9:29 AM

I hate those fucking string handles. They burn into my hand after a while if I've bought a lot of stuff. I found H&M makes nice bags, with super soft plastic (yeah yeah) handles. One of the key secrets to its friendly construction, I found, is being separately attached ... those one-piece bags are as terrible as these string dealies.

I'm talking about shopping bags, but at least it's in the right thread, ok?

Posted by Gloria | June 25, 2007 9:56 AM

Tie the handle in a knot to shorten it and stop whining

Posted by DJSauvage | June 25, 2007 10:32 AM

bring your own bag.

Posted by infrequent | June 25, 2007 10:50 AM

Be glad you have hands! In a single American Hospital for war wounded today, while you whine about shopping bags, More than 800 of them have lost an arm, a leg, fingers or toes. More than 100 are blind. Dozens need tubes and machines to keep them alive. Hundreds are disfigured by burns, and thousands have brain injuries and mangled minds.

These are America's war wounded, a toll that has received less attention than the 3,500 troops killed in Iraq. Depending on how you count them, they number between 35,000 and 53,000.

Posted by Sewage is witty | June 25, 2007 11:19 AM

Its a european carry-all

Posted by georgeC | June 25, 2007 11:54 AM

Its a european carry-all

Posted by georgeC | June 25, 2007 11:54 AM

It signals a larger problem than a poorly designed bag. It shows that Levi's doesn't have a good quality control system. A basic principle of design is to test something before release, whether it be a shopping bag, library (especially on how to get from the 4th floor to the 5th), or coffee carafe. Those office carafes that you can't fit a travel mug underneath are especially annoying.

Posted by Ebenezer | June 25, 2007 1:45 PM

If carrying that bag makes you feel unmanly, how do you deal with your inability to tie a simple overhand knot?

Maybe you should start a support group.

(Yes, it's a lousy design. So cowboy up and solve the problem!)

Posted by Lee Gibson | June 25, 2007 10:34 PM

#14 and 20: I'm embarrassed to say that I never would have thought of that. Then again, I'm a girl and probably would have slung it on my shoulder cause it's less heavy that way.

Posted by hee | June 25, 2007 11:35 PM

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