Life An Open Letter to the Levi’s Store, Marketing and/or Packaging Division
posted by June 24 at 23:00 PMon
Dear Levi’s Store,
Your bags suck. Are they new?
The bags I’m talking about have these very long “handles” made of thin rope. Because I’m a cowboy, I think. If I carry the bag by these handles, it drags on the ground. I’m a person of average proportions—not particularly short-legged or long-torsoed, that I know of.
Not only does it drag on the ground, but I keep kicking the bag! When I kick it (or if a light breeze catches it, or if it bumps into a pile of dog shit) the bag spins around, twisting the sisal handles, threatening rope burn, pinching, and slivers.
I guess maybe the idea was to carry this bag over the shoulder, like a big purse. The problem with that concept is I’m a guy. Isn’t Levi’s all about dudes and guys and rivets? Dudes don’t like to carry bags over their shoulder by thin rope handles, with the little half-height bag part hanging along their side. Maybe I’m wrong, but does this look right to you?
In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I already had a pretty strong aversion to carrying things before I encountered your bag. I hate carrying things, particularly shopping bags. Instead of unfairly biasing me against your new bag, though, I like to think that this makes me something of an expert on how bags can suck. Yours sucks a lot.
So yeah, that’s it. Fire your bag people.