Comments on A War Between Squirrel and Man is Coming

Can we get an editor in here? Skirmish?

These barbarians will continue to attack us and our freedoms unless we destroy them. The only thing they understand is force.

Someone call Cheney.

I think human-kind can take the squirrels... crows on the other hand...

We would totally lose.

Clearly, there is only one thing to be done:

we should invade their trees, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.

Squirrel Hill is a fine neighborhood in Pgh, PA. Home of Carnegie-Mellon, it was at the SqHll library branch where a friend of mine and his 70 yr old grandmother walked up to retrieve a Nick Drake cassette. My friend recommended it, ordered it, and on a few first listens, I didn't get it, too sappy. "Black-eyed Dog" resonated somewhat. Maybe 2 or 3 years later, I started to dig it. Then a couple a years after that I started seeing Nick's face on Spin, etc.

The point being, about 5 miles north of SqHll is Oakmont, PA. I used to to deliver auto-body paint to a few tidy backwater garages there, and admired the contentment. This moment, now, probably on the Tiger Woods Channel, the PGA U.S. Open is being played there. I pine for the area-- *must get to Beacon Hill Jackson driving range in next few hours!*
Grey skies! Across the board! my 4-iron is lame!

Secretly, and confidential to a certain post, brilliant sadness continues to swish through thses days of unemployment; I'm trying to make the most of it, before having to go back, sell my soul, and fine tune biting the hand that feeds me.

I'd totally pay to see Ann Coulter face off with a rabid squirrel.

I first read it as the 72-year old pensioner dispatched the squirrel with his *crotch*.

You go squirrel!

Let's all sing songs in the park for quarters! Go Foamy the Squirrel!

COMMUNIQUE FOR MR. BRENDAN KILEY OF THE STRANGER NEWSPAPER PUBLICATION: YOUR DOOM IS AT HAND, MOTHERFUCKER. OUR MEMORIES ARE LONG AND OUR JUSTICE MERCILESSLY HARSH FOR THOSE WHO WOULD DO VIOLENCE UPON OUR BROTHERS. MR. KILEY, WE ARE LEGION AND WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOUR SKULL HAS BEEN CRUSHED IN OUR MIGHTY PAWS LIKE A TASTY WALNUT. ALL HAIL THE BUSHY-TAILED HORDE OF FREEDOM!

UMMM!! HELLOOO! That exact thing happened to me, age 10, at Matthews Beach Park!!! Complete with "the squirrel still hanging from her hand, [young Lindy] ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off." I still have a tiny scar. And the squirrel just ran away into the bushes like a total asshole.

The war is over. Slog lost.

You guys never thanked us for the walnuts, by the way.

Squirrels know that the bones of the old are peanut-brittle.

Where? Behind the Squirrel? Hey--always pack a little "heat".

And I welcome our new cute and furry overlords and will offer myself to their fuzzy tailed service to bring the rest of humanity to their knees. HAIL Squirrel!! Praise to your cuteness!!!

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