Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Jay-Z Goes Down In a Firey Bal... | Clark and Rasmussen Fail to Un... »

Friday, May 4, 2007

This Makes My Brain Hurt

posted by on May 4 at 11:06 AM

Seen at Noah’s Bagels on Broadway (Capitol Hill, you dipshit, not Manhattan):

noahs.jpg

That blurry text reads, “Our Artisan-Roasted Coffee, Shlepped All the Way From the Pacific Northwest.”

RSS icon Comments

1

Are they implying someone grows coffee beans in the PNW?

Posted by seattle98104 | May 4, 2007 11:25 AM
2

Yeah because all those people in Orting keep on growing them beans.

What the fuck is "Artisan-Roasted" anyways? Someone's shovelling beans into a kiln?

Posted by Dave Coffman | May 4, 2007 11:27 AM
3


I wonder how much being an Artisan pays these days. Seems to be an increased demand...

BTW, this post is Artisan-typed. It's delicious.

Posted by la la | May 4, 2007 11:31 AM
4

Imagine the extra-human effort required to schlep coffee all the way from the PNW ... the sled dogs, the gallopin ponies, the incredible perseverance of the couriers through forests and over mountains, rivers, and plains, ...

Posted by D Huygens | May 4, 2007 11:32 AM
5

Wow, you really got them there, Annie.....NEXT!

Posted by Mike | May 4, 2007 11:34 AM
6

There was a bit this morning about how in the UK they're starting to label "food miles," so people can be aware of how far their food has come (and how many planes, ships, trucks, emitted massive amounts of CO2 to get it to them). Here we proudly boast of it (I'm assuming this is a national ad meant to impress people in NY and FL and wherever else).

Posted by Levislade | May 4, 2007 11:38 AM
7

No doubt schlepped by a couple of goyims with a chaleria for a boss. Whoever wrote the copy for this ad must be a real schmendrick.

Posted by Mike in MO | May 4, 2007 11:41 AM
8

noah's bagels is a west coast only chain. wash, ore, and cal are the only places it is located.

see, it's a joke. about being a regional company that provides at least one food product (bagels) which are presumed to be specific to another region and another food (coffee) that is commonly associated with the local regional.

it's a joke about regionalism that is of regionalism.

and now all of you can "um i got it but blah blah blah" even though everything you've posted suggests you didn't get it. and presumed they were serious.

i'm not saying it is funny.

oh and saying "what does ___ mean anyway" doesn't make you sound smart if the thing you are asking about is an actual word or an actual thing that you could look up yourself. say on the damn internet.

Posted by chuckles | May 4, 2007 12:03 PM
9

Touche, chuckles. I freely admit that I didn't get it, as I don't know or care about Noah's, and it's not really funny. My bad.

I agree wholeheartedly with your last paragraph, especially as regards a phrase made up of two very common English words. Not too hard to figure out. Whether it's true or not, well, that's another issue entirely.

Posted by Levislade | May 4, 2007 12:07 PM
10

it's esppeeecially ridiculous when you consider that they ONLY have locations in CA, OR, and WA...

Posted by john | May 4, 2007 12:23 PM
11

##hangs head in shame on reading chuckles' post.##

Posted by john | May 4, 2007 12:25 PM
12

Noah's sucks, but where else can you get bagels?

Posted by Transit Man | May 4, 2007 1:41 PM
13

As if anyone in New York would take a second bite of a Noah's bagel. Meh.

Posted by Fnarf | May 4, 2007 1:49 PM
14

Good bagels can be had at the Bagel Oasis on NE 65th in Ravenna, about 22nd Ave.

Posted by Fnarf | May 4, 2007 1:52 PM
15


I'm from the East Coast and I still like Noah's Bagels despite their ad copy. They have saved my bacon (haw) many times by providing me with fresh bagels for meetings at 6:30 in the morning. The punk rockers and massage therapy students who work there are always nice and efficient.

Posted by yum | May 4, 2007 2:00 PM
16

Noah's Bagels are better than almost any other bagel on the West Coast, which is really more of a condemnation of West Coast bagels, but still.

Posted by keshmeshi | May 4, 2007 2:06 PM
17

They have H&H bagels overnighted from NYC at that little coffee shop (sorry I forget the name) on the north side of Madison in Madison Valley.

Posted by Ben | May 4, 2007 2:25 PM
18

Think Ben. What's the name of the place where you can get H&H bagels in Seattle. Think.

Posted by Tim | May 4, 2007 3:20 PM
19

My Coffee House at 2818 E. Madison Street!

See you all there!

Posted by chuckles | May 4, 2007 9:12 PM
20

Noah's, like Einstein's and Boston Market(!) is owned by ENBC, a MacDonald's subsidiary. Identical ad copy is generally used in both bagel chains.

Posted by oncekosher | May 5, 2007 5:59 AM
21

The massage therapy student quit (it was me) and I have to say that Noahs' marketing is awfully stupid. From the vaguely pornoriffic "Jack Frost Nipping At Your Nosh" winter t-shirt slogans to the "wake up calling" (?!) egg sandwich pins we were made to wear as "flair" on our aprons... I loved my regulars, loved being a part of the C Hill community, but definitely did not love Corporate. God save the good people who still work at the Broadway location. (Please never ask what kinds of cream cheese we have. The list is on the fucking menu and all the cream cheeses are located in the refrigerated deli case by the back wall.)

Posted by Katelyn | May 5, 2007 9:39 AM
22

Hello everyone, wanna be part of some kind of community, possible here? anyone here?

Posted by Buy antivirus | May 10, 2007 2:04 PM
23

MSN I NIIPET
MSN

Posted by Bill | May 12, 2007 6:13 PM
24

MSN I NIIPET
MSN

Posted by Bill | May 12, 2007 6:13 PM
25

MSN I NIIPET
MSN

Posted by Bill | May 12, 2007 6:14 PM
26

fymgxq rnzt ndqjvpkzl uqdbc uwtah cwxjsmal zemp

Posted by zuryki fcjrhb | May 18, 2007 11:30 PM
27

qpgdv fawr gqosbdpat txinkohw qwugkd vlqardmw lvxqkfw http://www.nbuhlwe.cnpx.com

Posted by ptjnwqk xuvqzcwbd | May 18, 2007 11:31 PM
28

nybmjzhsv ahyj ngbwar oymg vnor dcmlwuk jnakycgts cyoqnvel lrqsf

Posted by whmex glsw | May 18, 2007 11:32 PM
29

nybmjzhsv ahyj ngbwar oymg vnor dcmlwuk jnakycgts cyoqnvel lrqsf

Posted by whmex glsw | May 18, 2007 11:33 PM
30

nybmjzhsv ahyj ngbwar oymg vnor dcmlwuk jnakycgts cyoqnvel lrqsf

Posted by whmex glsw | May 18, 2007 11:34 PM
31

yrbzdcu ukvnlod bpqmjczf yhklmdnoc teis juegdms xmlfgbou [URL]http://www.haespxmq.qjxbdk.com[/URL] pfim uytxaq

Posted by hybli hqfiuwx | May 18, 2007 11:35 PM
32

yrbzdcu ukvnlod bpqmjczf yhklmdnoc teis juegdms xmlfgbou [URL]http://www.haespxmq.qjxbdk.com[/URL] pfim uytxaq

Posted by hybli hqfiuwx | May 18, 2007 11:36 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).