I don’t know about your geek-week, but my geek-week was busy as hell, so please excuse the following frankly uninspired post.

“I like it the same as dipping hot Cheetos in ice cream.”

The science of emoticons - Japanese scholar discovers differences between American and Japanese emoticons, draws wild conclusions about difference between American and Japanese people. (^_^) != :-)

The number - Geeks of the world continue to find creative ways to point out how retarded it is to claim to own a particular number. These clever guys have decided that if the movie industry can own numbers, so can the rest of us.

Here’s how we do it. First, we generate a fresh pseudorandom integer, just for you. Then we use your integer to encrypt a copyrighted haiku, thereby transforming your integer into a circumvention device capable of decrypting the haiku without your permission. We then give you all of our rights to decrypt the haiku using your integer. The DMCA does the rest.

My integer is below. By looking at it, you have violated federal law. Isn’t this fun?

53 F1 F4 8C BB 14 07 B2 36 CC D0 F2 05 F8 7E 58

Are we safe yet? - The Transportation Safety Administration lost a hard drive containing social security numbers and bank account information on 100,000 employees.

iPods kill - High school student Jay Thaker holds iPods near old people, some die. Ok, not really. He did discover that the music players emit electromagnetic energy, which can interfere with pacemakers. This revolutionary finding proves at last that the iPod is, in fact, an electronic device. Thanks, Jay!

In other iPod news: Apple files patent for fancy new iPod, Internet widely notes same.

And finally, to prepare you for the weekend, here are some handy tips for maximizing your survival time if you should fall into a black hole. Note: you’ll need a rocket. If you’re running round crossing event horizons without a rocket, you deserve all the spaghettification you get.

Command of the week: more savagelove