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Monday, May 14, 2007

Mickey-Slippers and Murder Threats

posted by on May 14 at 8:26 AM

I disapprove of attempted date rape as much as the next person. But this I, Anonymous writer takes it to a new level.

You and your date-rape-drug frat brother watch your backs.

I know what you did, I saw how she acted, the only reason she wasn’t carried out of the bar by you and your “helpful” friends is because she’s a soldier and what you dickless rapist fucking faggots put in her drink just wasn’t enough to knock her out. You’re not going to live long enough to party as hard as she already has, but I guarantee YOU will be on your knees at the end and the irony won’t be lost when you’re being fucked through the new holes I’ve cut in you, violated with power tools in ways you would never imagine another human could actually do to another person. You won’t have the privilege of dying quickly, you’ll be on life support and when you’re finally out of organs and extremities to mangle, shred and burn you’ll have forgotten what you did to deserve this—I will cut, burn and torture you until I’ve seared the memory of pleasure from your mind. Lucifer himself will pity what you’ll have endured when you come knocking at his gates. God would have never made mankind if he had known the ferocity and horror you’re going to experience when you’re pulled from your beds in the night, and the last thing your eyes will see is my face. I’ll be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, because I will give you the release of death. Your lives are over, when I’m finished even the rats will vomit when they come across the scraps of your flesh in the gutters of this city.

I know what you were trying to do, and you tried it on the wrong girl. You didn’t realize she is protected from up on high by the prince of darkness, by the angel of death and all the armies of hell. Did you stop for a minute to think about the fact that everywhere you go in this city, every bar you visit, every inch of Seattle from Ballard to Pioneer Square, from Capitol Hill to the U district has eyes that will soon know your face, know your names and the cars you drive.

You are marked men, if you have even a shred of intelligence in your soon to be crushed beyond identification even by dental records skulls you will leave this state, go as far away as you can and never come back. There is money on your heads, each of you, and you will never outlive it, never outrun it, never escape the wrath you’ve brought upon yourselves.

I will take your lives, each and every one of you.

Confidential to anonymous vengeful Satanists: Before resorting to power-tool torture and mass slaughter, why not try reporting the alleged mickey-slipping to the police?

RSS icon Comments

1

Sarah Jessica Parker!

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 14, 2007 9:02 AM
2

eek!

Posted by monkey | May 14, 2007 9:26 AM
3

Yeah, you know, when someone quotes The Usual Suspects in their murder threat, I'm inclined to think he or she is probably a very angry geek. Most geeks have some anger management issues, but they also tend (not always. see: columbine) to lack follow-through.

Oh, and since you asked-- number one reason for not calling the police: lack of evidence.

Posted by Judah | May 14, 2007 9:28 AM
4

Why act on your feelings or report anything? This guy's taking the early 40's noir road. He's tryin' to make 'em sweat, yo!

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 14, 2007 9:38 AM
5

Jesus. I hope the dudes in question don't have any doppelgangers who happen to spend any time in "every inch of Seattle from Ballard to Pioneer Square, from Capitol Hill to the U district".

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | May 14, 2007 9:39 AM
6

You shouldn't let ECB write to I, Anonymous.

Posted by elrider | May 14, 2007 9:51 AM
7

In all seriousness, this letter should be brought to the attention of the police. It contains some serious threats. If we've learned anything from the Virginia Tech massacre, it's that violent words can be a precursor to actual violence.

Posted by Ryan | May 14, 2007 9:54 AM
8

Sounds like little Satan is feeling a little CRABBY!

Posted by Jesus | May 14, 2007 10:10 AM
9

Good luck, anonymous dude.

Posted by Sean | May 14, 2007 10:25 AM
10

i get letters just like this one by the HOUR.

Posted by adrian! | May 14, 2007 10:38 AM
11

sounds like a Sadrist militia member.

kee rist!

Posted by maxsolomon | May 14, 2007 11:37 AM
12

sumbodys gwumpy!

Posted by matty yeswad | May 14, 2007 11:41 AM
13

holy shit. but why did i think this was a woman writing this?

Posted by gforce | May 14, 2007 11:59 AM
14

Um, yeah, this is a death threat, and The Stranger should report it to the police.

Posted by NaFun | May 14, 2007 12:05 PM
15

If somebody tried to drug my sister, or girlfriend, or anyone i care about, i would be just as angry and i may fantasize about getting extreme revenge as described here, but to articulate it like this, i can't help but think the person who wrote this is as dangerous as the dudes it is written too. I am not happy to know that i live in the same town with ANY of them.

Posted by longball | May 14, 2007 12:39 PM
16

This is over the top, sure, but not really that frightening, and not something to bother the police with (especially if The Usual Suspects is quoted, as Judah points out). As anyone who watches horror movies can attest (and there are millions of us), torture is "in", and anyone with a Blockbuster account has access to much more grisly scenarios than what is described here. Should movie scripts be sent to the police, too?

Posted by Aislinn | May 14, 2007 1:45 PM
17
not something to bother the police with

Well now, I didn't say that. Definitely report this to the police. Just, they're incredibly unlikely to do anything about it because there's no evidence that the first crime took place, let alone that this torture/murder thing is going to happen.

And my personal take is that it's unlikely to happen: movie-quoting geeks often have freakishly macho attitudes towards women. They're either women-hating pricks or over-protective knight-wannabes. This person is obviously a type two. Not likely to be really dangerous unless you tell him you hated The Last Boyscout.

Posted by Judah | May 14, 2007 2:13 PM

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