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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Mary Cheney Pushes One Out

posted by on May 23 at 13:57 PM

Mary Cheney gives birth. Grandparents rejoice. Religious conservatives crap pants.

MSNBC is all over it. No word on what’s to be done with the placenta, or if Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket the christening. If Jerry Falwell were alive today, he’d warn us all to stay out of skyscrapers—we’ve all seen what happens when the gays piss off the Jesus.

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This explains the freak thunderstorm here in Denver right now.

Posted by Matt from Denver | May 23, 2007 2:05 PM

Another combat-avoiding Red.

Posted by Will in Seattle | May 23, 2007 2:10 PM

I dropped a piece of lamb on the floor during lunch. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Lamb = Lamb of God.

Falling = Fall from Grace.

The signs are bad.

Posted by Dan Savage | May 23, 2007 2:10 PM

Here comes Damien...

Posted by Original Andrew | May 23, 2007 2:18 PM

The spawn of Mary Cheney is the grandchild of the Dark Lord Cheney. The baby no doubt sneered at the doctors and ate the placenta itself before shooting Heather Poe in the face with a shotgun.

Posted by SDA in SEA | May 23, 2007 2:21 PM

I wonder if I'm related to Heather...

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 23, 2007 2:26 PM
Posted by Mr. Poe | May 23, 2007 2:31 PM

Awesome, Dan. But what's up with the excessive poor grammar here?

Posted by Stevey | May 23, 2007 2:32 PM

Nevermind, looks like you fixed it because you're magical.

Posted by Stevey | May 23, 2007 2:35 PM

You eat lamb for lunch? Classy.

Posted by jackie treehorn | May 23, 2007 2:39 PM

What does the Mint Sauce signify?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | May 23, 2007 2:49 PM

"No word on what’s to be done with the placenta..."

Word is, Tom Cruise has already placed a six-figure bid.

"Placenta: It's the Other 'other white meat'".

Posted by COMTE | May 23, 2007 3:00 PM

Does evil skip a generation?

Posted by Boomer in NYC | May 23, 2007 3:03 PM

They should name him Cheney Cheney. Then he'd be Cheney Cheney Poe-Cheney.

Posted by monkey | May 23, 2007 3:33 PM

20 bucks says Dick Cheney ate the placenta and umbilical cord. Chock full of Stem Cells, so maybe he won't have to get that 4th pig heart valve.

Posted by Brandon H | May 23, 2007 3:49 PM

if you don't tolerate the hypocrisy, you're an anti-hypocrite bigot.

Posted by maxsolomon | May 23, 2007 4:38 PM

Within mere hours of the baby's birth, there's a full on photo session with Dick & Lynne Cheney and the new grandchild. Photo plastered all over the White House website.

Where the fuck is the photo of the proud mommies?

Posted by SDA in SEA | May 23, 2007 4:44 PM

Who gives a rat's ass? Thanks for nothing Mary.

Posted by JG67 | May 23, 2007 5:11 PM

What'll you pay me to push it back in?

Posted by chuckles | May 23, 2007 8:13 PM

WTF? Why is it so hot here in heaven?

Posted by jerry fallwell | May 24, 2007 3:32 AM

>> Where the fuck is the photo of the proud mommies?

Not in Virginia. Here, there's only ONE mommie. Heather Poe has no rights to baby Cheney.

BTW - the political climate in VA was one campaighned for by Ms. Cheney and her father...

Posted by Ayden | May 24, 2007 6:31 AM

Cheney Cheney Poe Cheney banana fana foe feney

(come on! you know the words!)



is that Blake I hear beatboxing?

best comeuppance birth ever.

Posted by the end is nigh | May 24, 2007 7:32 AM

Is she married yet?

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