Celeb Lesbianism Confirmed…LIVE!
posted by May 21 at 12:34 PMon
They are desperate, Ellen DeGeneres’ people. Desperate, desperate, desperate! Also, they are knee-jerkers. Transparent over-reactors. And so forth.
As I think I might have reported earlier, some bitter fat chick who harasses retarded pregnant women (even though some of the bitches really fucking have it coming) perched her fat and bitter ass upon a mountaintop last week and yelled to the world this terrible secret: Ellen DeGeneres avoids discussing hers or anyone else’s huge gayness on her talk show because the producers of said talk show force her. Not to. Talk about her huge gayness ever. On her show. Whatever.
Sensitive to the fat and assy criticisms, the producers or somebody immediately maneuvered to deflect them by dyking the show up with Cameron Diaz’s BIG NAKED BOOBY. Observe:
Whoa! DYKEY! BOOBY! That’s Ellen!
In somehow related news, I know someone who has probably touched Justin Timberlake’s erect penis! And it’s not a boy! Dammit!
It’s a terrible responsibility, such knowledge. Such power. And a lonely one. Hold me. I’m serious.
In conclusion, none of this keeps me from loving Ellen like a mother and wishing my face could be Justin Timberlake’s underwear for just ten minutes. Thank you.