Religion Jesus Christ Struck by Lightning!
posted by May 21 at 11:39 AMon
Let’s say I got hit by lightning on a Sunday and, oh, it burned my arm off. I’m thinking Christian conservatives would claim it was God’s wrath—you know, just like God sent hurricane Katrina to drown all those little old ladies in nursing homes to express His righteous displeasure with all them gays in the French Quarter. Dan Savage lightning? Well, it looks like God finally had enough of my women-peggin’-men-promotin’, nutty-xtian-fundy-bashin’, dirty-filthy-smut-mouthin’ sex advice column and… zap! He took one of my arms as a warning. Keep writing that sex advice column, Savage, and He’ll take the other one!
Well, a 33-foot-tall statue of Jesus was hit by a bolt of lightning on Sunday in Golden, Colorado, on Sunday afternoon, blowing his outstretched arm clean off. Wrath of God? His righteous anger? No, no—of course not! When lightning hits a sex-advice columnist or porn store or a Prius that’s wrath of God. But when lightning hits a statue of Jesus? What is it then?
Don’t look for any religious symbolism here—it was only a freak act of Mother Nature, says Sister Ilaria.
The nuns at Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden were thanking God on Sunday that no one was hurt when a bolt of lightning shot out of the sky and struck their 33-foot statue of Jesus.
The lightning bolt broke off one of Jesus’ arms and a hand and damaged one of his feet, sending marble plummeting to the ground during a Saturday afternoon storm.
“There were pilgrims up there on the hill,” Sister Ilaria said. “The biggest miracle is no one got hit with the falling debris.”
Or maybe God was sending those pilgrims a warning about idolatry? What was the Second Commandment again? Something about “graven images” wasn’t it?
Man, I can’t wait to read about this on Jesus’ blog.