I'm holding out for Xena!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyahyahyah!!!!

Just kidding. I used to do that, but I quit when I stopped drinking. I've been sober for almost a week now.

That said, I like to crush underwater tunnels with my keyboard ... does that count?

I was crossing the street at Howell near I-5. Some dumb bitch was blocking traffic because she didn't clear the intersection when her light turned red. As I crossed in front of her, cars in front of her moved and she started honking at me to hurry up so she could clear the intersection. I called her a "fucking idiot" and when she yelled back at me I smacked her passenger window. That's when her meathead boyfriend jumped out and put a hand around my neck. I didn't flinch (I was gonna run), but thankfully a 7-foot-tall-couple-hundred-pound-giant pedestrian-superhero witness came to my aid. (Meanwhile the fucking idiot was blocking traffic still and had no where to pull over while she waited for her boyfriend.)

I felt like a hero. But I need that giant sidekick.

http://vlog.storypipe.com/wp-content/movies/STIFF_blindio.mov

Rand sucks. Only a retard would base their political beliefs on the writings of a third rate romance novelist. She was just in a permanent bad mood because Daddy lost his pharmacy to the commies or something dumb like that.

As for the taser crack, here's Peter Coogan's Definition of a SuperHero and it seems that Seattle already enjoys the benefit of several (Hi Woosh):

Su.per.he.ro (soo'per hîr'o) n., pl. -roes. 1. A heroic character with a selfless, pro-social mission; who possesses superpowers, advanced technology, or highly developed physical and/or mental skills; who has a superidentity and iconic costume, which typically express his biography or character, powers, and origin (transformation from ordinary person to superhero); and is generically distinct, i.e. can be distinguished from characters of related genres (fantasy, science fiction, detective, etc.) by a preponderance of generic conventions. Typically superheroes have dual identities, the ordinary one of which is kept secret. -superheroic, adj. Also super hero, super-hero (Trademark).