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Monday, May 21, 2007

O They Will Know We Are Christians By Our…

posted by on May 21 at 10:15 AM

…inability to resist Satan’s instructions to place our babies in microwave ovens

A woman blames the devil and not her husband for severely burning their infant daughter after the two-month-old was put in a microwave, a Texas TV station has reported.

Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter on May 10 because the devil disapproved of Joshua’s efforts to become a preacher. “Satan saw my husband as a threat. Satan attacked him because he saw (Joshua) as a threat,” Eva Mauldin told Houston television station KHOU-TV.

I guess the reason I never popped my son into a microwave while there was still time—he’s way too big to fit in one now—was because Satan didn’t see me as a threat and order me to do it. Me and Satan, we’re buds.

Or maybe it’s because Satan doesn’t exist?

RSS icon Comments


I'm sure microwave torture would have come to be known by the masses sooner or later, but it's the scene in 'Gremlins' that always comes back to me. Gotta credit Spielberg for being way ahead of the curve.

Posted by Garrett | May 21, 2007 10:29 AM

And this is the reason why anyone who doesn't believe in evolution should be sterilized.

Posted by Leeerker | May 21, 2007 10:33 AM

Someone has seen The Omen one too many times.

Posted by monkey | May 21, 2007 10:40 AM

Didn't Erica post this one last week while Dan was out?

Posted by gillsans | May 21, 2007 10:47 AM

Great idea leeerker. We should sterilize anyone who doesn't believe in evolution. Let's start by choosing one particular religion and after identifying them as “abnormal”, begin a process to systematically sterilize them all. We can call this the Law for the Prevention of Hereditarily Educated Offspring. Better yet if those with low IQs happen not to believe in evolution!


Posted by infrequent | May 21, 2007 10:54 AM

sorry, leeerker. you were probably joking (through over exaggeration) and my response was not needed. ughmonday!

Posted by infrequent | May 21, 2007 11:08 AM

Satan pwned that baby.

Posted by Mr. Poe | May 21, 2007 11:14 AM

see if I believed in Satan I could write off all my wrong doings on him, therefore never taking responsibility for my own actions. It is really convenient. I would not have to have respect for anyone. I can just say "the devil made me do it".
But I don't believe in something called Satan and I do have respect and take full responsibility for all my actions.
Well almost all, there is this leprechaun that sits on my shoulder telling me to burn it all down.

Posted by -B- | May 21, 2007 11:20 AM

And just who do you think is sitting on that little leprechaun's shoulder telling him to tell you to burn it all down?

That's right.

Dudley Moore.

Evil incarnate.

Posted by COMTE | May 21, 2007 10:39 PM


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