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on May 23 at
…click here to learn what the fuck happened tonight on American Idol.
Oh, goody. Now his soul won't be eaten by the American Idol enterprise.
Is this show not fabulous, ya know?
Finally! Now maybe people will stop with all the kvetching and get back to more important matters.
Surely, there's one last shred of post-mortem Anna Nichole gossip that has yet to be beaten into the ground around here, no?
He's okay. He's probably better off, as #1 says. But I agree with this article:
@3, are you saying that all you eat/drink/sleep 24/7 is substantial news? I watch way more than my share, and manage to stay pretty much up to the minute. More than most. Still, I have time for a little entertainment.
I don't actually watch AI and I have never heard Blake Lewis actually sing, the only reason I was rooting for him was purely hormones.
Oh well, maybe his failure will result in him having to do gay porn for a living. That way everybody wins!
whew! now blake and i can continue our secret butt-sexxing without all the pressure and drawbacks of that opressive AI contract. our love begins today! come home baby, adrian is a-waitin!
yag. i am so totally kidding.
So, does this mean Blake moves to Virginia, or Chris moves to Washington state?
What happened was the most gloriously insane and horrifying Beatles medley in the history of ever. Ruben Studdard singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was comic genius. I was stunned.
Philippi Sparks has to be the greatest male name I've ever heard. Just learning that name exists makes clicking on that article worthwhile.
Jordin did fantastic performances in the show. She really deserved to win. Blake pulled me in to watching the show because he was adventurous in his music choices. Go, Jordin! But, really, Go, Blake!!
At least she called out her mom and dad instead of God, which most every single other idiot has done on that show.
The best part of the article was the opportunity to vote in their bullshit little poll - along with 40% of the total voters - in the "I don't care" category.
A) What in GOD'S NAME was up with Bette Midler? Haley "Hey Here's My Crotch!" Scarnato could have sung that song better last night, and without all the spastic arm-flailing. Did the Divine Ms M get hopped up on goofballs before coming out??
B) My TiVO can kiss my ass for being too stupid not to catch the actual finale, since the show ran long and after sitting through two hours of tribute songs and Bush Baby & Retard Boy awards, I missed the Big Ending. Thanks TiVO!
C) Blake and Doug E. Fresh beatboxing together was a treat.
D) Haley "This Is My Crotch, Please Buy It A Beer" Scarnato needs to skulk off and pose for Playboy now.
But I agree with the consensus that #2 is the place to be if you want to command your own singing destiny. Blake will do fine.
They totally took a dump on The Beatles last night. No Beatles song should be allowed on AI. That's just blasphemy.
Did you know that TV is bad for you?
Ugh! The show was annoying last night (more than usual). But I'm glad Blake came in second. Sure, he's tied to an AI contract for a year, BUT he'll get to make his style of music. He's going to be working on an electro-pop album after that lame-ass tour they have to do. Jordin will be stuck with them for a while. Not that she has any personality of her own, so she actually NEEDS them to back her and help her write shit.
I'm curious to know how long they have a hold on them. Kelly's been with Clive since the show. I know her most recent albums had a lot of trouble getting off the ground because they didn't like where she was going with it. But surely she's had some better offers by now? I just wonder if she's still in her original contract or if she's resigned with him.
Time to Google...
As a member of the industry, you know how much I respect you as the elder statesman of TV journalism, but if AI is your idea of "entertainment", then all I can say is, take the black capsule now, buddy.
After they got rid of Sanjaya, I have been boycotting AI.
What happened was some of the worst TV I have ever seen. Talk about Shlock!
Does that mean the front page of the PI will go back to their normal "news" about lost puppies and kids' art projects, instead of devoting the whole above-the-fold to a karaoke contest EVERY FUCKING DAY?
I mean, it's not like I'm going to subscribe to the Times - I have a personal beef with their ownership - but the PI has been turning into the Star or the Enquirer or something lately. It's embarrassing.
For those saying Blake is better off not winning... it is my understanding that ALL of the featured contestants are subject to the same intense management and control as the winner. It just happens to be that the winner gets more of a commitment from the prod company.
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