TV American Idol: Blake the Butcher
posted by May 23 at 11:08 AMon
Last night was yet another blood bath on American Idol, but this time? It was beatboxing Blake who did the butchering. Oh yeah… SPOILER ALERT!
It was the last night of singing for finalists Blake and Jordin (neither of whom deserve to be there, but who gives a flying flip? It’s American Idol, not the electoral college). And while Blake got kudos for his tiresome fakey-ass beatboxing remix of “You Give Love a Bad Name,” he MURDERED (and subsequently was murdered by) the final original song given to both contestants entitled, “This is My Now.” How bad of a song was it? Here are a few of the lyrics. You be the judge.
This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment / But I look around / I can’t believe the love I see / My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts / That was then, this is my now.
WOW. That’s really terrible. On the upside, Jordin excels in singing terrible songs, and even shed a few crocodile tears on the final bars, thereby clinching her victory tonight. Blake on the other hand, unable to fall back on his junior varsity mouth rhythms, decapitated the song, set it on fire, and then extinguished the blaze via urination. In other words, NOT SO GOOD. Hand Jordin the trophy now, please, and let’s forget this season ever transpired.
EXCEPT FOR ONE CONTESTANT, the memorable SANJAYA. And get this! According to a new video just released, it’s been revealed that perhaps Sanjaya isn’t really who he says he is! In this clip, Sanjaya reveals his true name and intentions: He is Bill Vendall, a grad art school student who entered Idol as part of an art project to fulfill his graduate thesis! Whether truth or bullshit, now I really wish he had won!