Savage Love
Western Washington University
I spoke to a large crowd of horny college students last night at Western Washington University. So what’s on their minds up in Bellingham? Here are few of the questions put to me by WWU students…
Since when is sticking ones tongue and/or finger up the other’s asshole without asking them 1st okay? And is it okay when they call you a pervert for liking it, even when you don’t?
Can straight men enjoy sex toys? How & which ones?
Do you ride a unicycle?
How do you know you’re in love?
Is there any tactful way to bring up the topic of sexual prowess with an older man one is trying to seduce? Say, an insecure older man one hasn’t succeeded in convincing of his sexiness yet?
What is it you don’t understand about transsexuality? Why is gender identity so hard for people to grasp? www.gendersanity.com
How’s your poodle?
Comments (243)
Did you actually FLY to Bellingham?
Posted by DOUG. | April 26, 2007 8:58 AMWhat was your answer to number two?
Posted by elswinger | April 26, 2007 9:02 AMNo, at the last minute my boyfriend decided to drive up with me, sparing me the short, guilt-inducing flight.
#2: I recommended cock rings, nipple toys, and buttplugs to the assembled straight boys, and walked them through the proper use of each--and the sexual identity crisis likely to be brought about by the use of a buttplug.
Posted by Dan Savage | April 26, 2007 9:06 AMGotta agree you don't get transsexuality, Dan.
Posted by Sachi | April 26, 2007 9:14 AMProbably saved time driving rather than flying Dan. And an outright mocking from ECB as well...
Posted by Dave Coffman | April 26, 2007 9:16 AMQuestion 1: *Awkward.*
Posted by Gloria | April 26, 2007 9:18 AMYou can FLY TO BELLINGHAM? From SEATTLE? Seriously? Is that, what, a 4 minute flight? With the airport hassle, wouldn't it take twice as long as driving?
Sorry, I just think that's amazing and... weird.
Posted by sniggles | April 26, 2007 9:22 AMI've read a couple of your books, and I don't think you've ever explained...
WHY don't you know how to drive?
Posted by Jessica | April 26, 2007 9:26 AMGlad I'm not the only one wondering about you potentially flying to B-Ham.
So, how is the poodle? It was very cute to see him come on stage with you last month at TAL.
Posted by Brad | April 26, 2007 9:31 AMHow is your son? How about his birth mother? I was glad to hear that she was alright, after she dropped out of contact with you all for a while.
Posted by mike | April 26, 2007 9:33 AMQuestion 7: *Awkward.*
Posted by Galen | April 26, 2007 9:37 AMAmtrak's a straight shot, Dan.
Posted by DOUG. | April 26, 2007 9:41 AMMy son is fine -- he came along, and did his homework in WWU's library during the talk. Now he wants to go to college there.
His birthmother is doing well -- living in Virginia, has a phone for the first time, we can call her when DJ wants to talk. All is well on that front.
Awkwardness acknowledged -- I hated having to fly places when it was just flying; now that it's despoiling the planet I hate it even more. I wish colleges could come to me.
Posted by Dan Savage | April 26, 2007 9:42 AMWhen I was a kid, you could fly from SFO to Oakland. And vice-versa.
Posted by Dave Coffman | April 26, 2007 9:43 AMI punched SEA-BLI into Orbitz and got some hilarious results besides the obvious Horizon Air hoppers. My favorite was Seattle to Oakland to Salt Lake City to Bellingham, in just 11.5 hours, though Seattle-Phoenix-Salt Lake-Bellingham for only $1,849 per person was good too (13.5 hours).
I wonder if any of the float plane services goes to Bee-ham.
Posted by Fnarf | April 26, 2007 9:45 AMSo why are you ducking the unicycle question?
Posted by J.R. | April 26, 2007 9:48 AMBecause if you can't ride a unicycle or play hacky-sack you aren't allowed on the WWU campus.
Posted by Fnarf | April 26, 2007 9:52 AMTrain + bike + Bellingham summers = pure bliss.
I also highly, highly recommend the secret garden b&b: http://www.secretgardenbb.com/ She has an insanely awesome on-site chef.
Posted by seattle98104 | April 26, 2007 10:00 AMFnarf, the flight to Bellingham via Oakland & Salt Lake City is hilarious.
Dan, I'm a big fan, but seriously. WTF? You'd spend more time sitting around the SeaTac terminal than it would take to drive/bus/train up there. Flying to Bellingham seems like the stupidest idea ever.
Posted by SDA in SEA | April 26, 2007 10:02 AMNot true, Fnarf. I completed two years of post-grad at WWU, and I don't do either.
On the other hand, my ability to consume prodigious quantities of mood/mind altering substances apparently gave me a pass on those other activities.
Posted by COMTE | April 26, 2007 10:03 AM"Is there any tactful way to bring up the topic of sexual prowess with an older man one is trying to seduce? Say, an insecure older man one hasn’t succeeded in convincing of his sexiness yet?"
Rip off his clothes and chew on his chest. Duh.
Posted by Mr. Poe | April 26, 2007 10:08 AMI really enjoyed your talk last night! I admire your ability to answer even those most awkward questions.
If colleges could come to you, I'd come back every night!
Posted by Brian | April 26, 2007 10:11 AMI, too, am a WWU alumnus (1994-1998), though I don't play hacky-sack or ride a unicycle. It's a good school, Dan, and a great place to live. Not too big or too small, and there's no Greek system. Plus, it's close enough to Seattle for the kid to visit often, but still have his freedom.
Posted by Cori | April 26, 2007 10:12 AMThe flight to Bellingham takes 50 minutes. I'm having trouble seeing how that makes practical sense counting trip time to and from the airport, check-in, and security. It's a 90 minute drive. I guess if you can't drive; there must be customers for the flights.
Posted by Fnarf | April 26, 2007 10:12 AMI routinely made it from Totem Lake (Kirkland) to Bellingham in 1 hr 10 minutes. Of course, I have a bit of a lead foot, and this was on Sundays.
Posted by Cori | April 26, 2007 10:15 AM"Since when is sticking ones tongue and/or finger up the other’s asshole without asking them 1st okay?"
Right around the time the other person graduates from toilet paper to baby wipes.
Posted by Sean | April 26, 2007 10:23 AM"Right around the time the other person graduates from toilet paper to baby wipes."
Nice.
Posted by Mr. Poe | April 26, 2007 10:33 AM50 minutes? Seriously? Spokane is only 30, and Minneapolis is less than three hours. I'm totally going to spend the rest of my day looking at flights I'll never purchase.
Posted by sniggles | April 26, 2007 10:38 AM"Is there any tactful way to bring up the topic of sexual prowess with an older man one is trying to seduce? Say, an insecure older man one hasn’t succeeded in convincing of his sexiness yet?"
Posted by laterite | April 26, 2007 10:39 AMThis one amuses me greatly.
Dan, is it true you don't know how to drive?? FOR SHAME
Do you really want your son to be driving you around in 5 years? Get thee to a DMV Dan, STAT.
Posted by Colin | April 26, 2007 10:40 AM#s 20 and 23: C'mon now. Although you deserve a medal for being the only non-hackey-sackers at WWView, you cannot deny the hamfisted crunchiness of that campus and community. Case in point: cascadiaweekly.com.
Posted by H0RATI0SANZSERIF | April 26, 2007 10:44 AMLet Dan fly to Bellingham if he wants to. The poodle will beat him there on the unicycle.
Posted by RainMonkey | April 26, 2007 10:48 AMWhat IS the carbon footprint of a flight to Bellingham?
Posted by andy niable | April 26, 2007 10:58 AM@ #31. I don't deny it. Much of the "crunchiness", however, is confined to Fairhaven College and its associated residence hall. Fairhaven has an Evergreen State approach to learning and evaluating students. Most of WWU's student population are like an average school's (for good or ill). I do think that the lack of a Greek system does contribute to a student body that is perhaps more engaged in the world around them, rather than concentrating on where the next kegger is.
'Tis better to be crunchy than oblivious.
Posted by Cori | April 26, 2007 10:58 AMDan, where's your schedule at? I couldn't have gone last night anyways (just flew back from Indiana), but is there a way to find out what talks are coming up?
Posted by wench | April 26, 2007 11:03 AMOne of my worst experiences at WWU was trying to make my way through the Fairhaven College Lounge on Earth Day... the smell of patchouli was so thick I nearly vomited- and for me, thats saying alot.
So to answer the question, yes WWU is crunchy, but only if you know where to look.
Posted by Colin | April 26, 2007 11:04 AMI miss Bellingham!
Posted by Lauren | April 26, 2007 11:08 AMI can't wait to be back there this summer, watching the unicycle/juggling/tightrope club in Boulevard park and admiring the bizarre sculptures around WWU. And going to the Bagelry. And the Nightlight. And the Black Drop. And Chuckanut Drive. And Locust Beach. Too bad Stuart's is ancient history now.
Well Don't look to Cascadia weekly as representative of Bellingham, the old weekly went under and now it is used as an editorial platform for the development community
Posted by Vooodooo84 | April 26, 2007 11:47 AMAnd somehow question seven sounds the dirtiest.
Posted by lupes | April 26, 2007 1:11 PMWould all of you blabbing about how awesome Bellingham is please shut the hell up? Just go to Fremont instead, it's closer and that is the direction this place is heading anyway.
By the way, the puddle-jumper flight between Seattle and the Ham is almost exclusively used by locals who are flying out of (and back to) the Bellingham airport on their way to outside destinations, via either Sea-Tac or Salt Lake. Given that scenario it makes sense.
Posted by Jake | April 26, 2007 2:18 PM@15,33 -- I don't know what the carbon footprint of that flight would be, but generally jet engine flight is less polluting than propellor-driven flight due to less efficient fuel use related mainly to manual engine management typical of propellor engine flight.
Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | April 26, 2007 2:59 PMAirline engine emissions are also dependent on forward speed, altitude, air density and ambient air pressure, all of which fall more favorably on the side of commercial jet aircraft.
That said, commercial aircraft emissions are late in the game as far as emission regulation goes. So as air travel increases, so does the associated pollution. Most other forms of transport have had significant emissions controls instituted, so even as their use increases, their emissions are decreasing.
I too cringe whenever Dan writes about trans topics. Not that I think he doesn't really get it. I'm sure he "gets it" about as well as most gay men can be expected to. The thing that makes me cringe is that I suspect his readers take what he writes about this subject way out of context. And I think the public at large has a hard time separating transsexuals from the porn industry's portrayal of them.
Posted by Tiffany | April 26, 2007 3:00 PMI loved WWU and Bellingham (especially in the summertime and the proximity to amazing snowboarding at Mt. Baker in winter). Yes, there is sort of an underlying cruchy-ness, and I don't think I was ever NOT stoned for 4 years, but it was great not feeling like I was in some huge diploma mill (ie - UW). Driving to Bellingham is a great day trip, especially if you detour off I-5 and take Chuckanut Drive up the coast. Stop at the Oyster Creek Inn for freshly harvested oysters ... heaven!
Posted by chris | April 26, 2007 3:08 PMhttp://www.oystercreekinn.com/
I enjoyed your talk at Western last night. Thanks!
Some of my favorites were the question asking for tips on how to give a more "efficient" blow job...and the one from the guy whose girlfriend is getting ready to divorce her "fag husband" and who is concerned that he'll miss the sneaking around.
You gave great answers to both.
Posted by Brad | April 26, 2007 4:11 PMSo, what's a good site for info on trans topics for a non-trans person who just doesn't get it? The linked site was pretty much all employment info. It bothers me that I don't get it, but rather than sound really clueless by explaining why, I'll just ask for reading references. =)
Posted by wench | April 26, 2007 7:11 PMHere is a place to start:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html
Posted by Tiffany | April 26, 2007 7:24 PMDan, you could always come to evergreen, it's a short drive from seattle, hell, you could probably take a cab. You will probably have to deal with pretentious post-modern theorizing and "deconstruction", but hey, greeners could use a dose of your cold water.
Posted by brandon H | April 26, 2007 7:56 PMbrandon H,
Dan gets paid for these little chats. Just get together some cash and phone him up, and I'm sure he'll be happy to go down there and give a talk.
Posted by robotslave | April 26, 2007 9:52 PMDang, I missed it. Where can I info about your next local speaking engagements?
Where on campus did you speak?
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