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Trash Today in General American Idol Trash…Are They All on Crack? Yes!

Posted by on April 30 at 8:49 AM

Paula Abdul!
Ladies and gentlemen, behold…Paula is possessed by spirits. Gin maybe.

Where’s Sanjaya?
Seen Sanjaya lately? You are, are, ARE not alone! Millions of sources report absolutely nothing on Sanjaya since his mad round of TV appearances last week, and his official status is MIA. But you heard that, like, his folks were weed farmers once, right?

God, I love him.

Blake Lewis!
Poor Sanjaya. He and his come-hither (on me) smile are now but a hairy masturbation fantasy, so we are forced to turn our attention to the next hottest American Idol ‘mo from Seattle-ish: The very blonde and beat-boxy Blake Lewis, who seems to wax more compulsively fuckable by the nanosecond. Bold Blake risked breaking A.I. curfew to follow Chris Richardson’s ever-tappable tail to a Hollywood club over the weekend, where they looked very pretty and danced with no women whatsoever. Glean from this information what you will.

Fags.

Jessica…Who?

Elsewhile, from the misty land of yesterday’s almost-Idols…Jessica Sierra. No bells? Of course not. Let me refresh you: Former top ten finalist, Season Four, also quite blonde, you’ve never heard of her, got totally arrested yesterday morning for being a coked-up-freak and smashing some poor guy’s face up with a big thick scary drinking glass in a moment of very post-Idol pique. Remember?

Oh, forget it.

Angelina Jolie!
And lastly, in completely other stuff: Exhausted by the complicated and emotional adoption process, Angelina Jolie used the supernatural strength of her amazing lips to bypass it entirely and draw all of the world’s remaining orphans directly to her with one tremendous sucking inhalation…

ga_dish_jolie2240x232.jpg

That is all.

CommentsRSS icon

1

That photo of Angelina Jolie is one of those unfortunate moments when you suddenly get an impression of what a particular attractive woman could look like in 25 years' time.

2

P.S. I think you meant "YOU'RE" in the paragrah about Sanjaya, right? Must have been a typo....I know that esteemed Stranger bloggers would never make that grammatical mistake.

3

i want to DIE.

4

Fags.

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