Sex The Power of Positive Beatings
posted by April 16 at 9:31 AMon
Researchers in Australia have discovered three very interesting things about folks into BDSM. First, engaging in BDSM makes people—kinky people—happy. Who’da thunk it? Second, folks into BDSM were not abused as children at higher rates than folks who aren’t into BDSM. Third, gays, lesbians, bi, and the heteroflexible—a.k.a. sexually adventurous straights—are likelier to be into BDSM.
The new sex study has revealed that two per cent of Australian men and 1.4 per cent of women admit to enjoying dominance, submission and sadomasochism-type sex in the past year…. The survey results, to be presented at the World Association of Sexual Health congress in Sydney this week, give the first snapshot of Australians involved in bondage behaviour.
These fetishes were most common among gay, lesbian and bisexual people and heterosexuals who are “bi-interested”, said Dr Richters, the lead researcher…. They were [also] no more likely to have suffered sexual difficulties, sexual abuse or coercion or anxiety than other Australians.
In fact, says Dr Richters, men into BDSM scored significantly better on a scale of psychological wellbeing than other men.
“This seems to imply that these men are actually happier as a result of their behaviour, though we’re not sure why,” she said.
“It might just be that they’re more in harmony with themselves because they’re into something unusual and are comfortable with that…. Researchers said the study helps break down the reigning stereotype that people into bondage and discipline were damaged as children and were therefore “dysfunctional”.
Hello, Dr. Drew? Please unclench long enough to stick the results of this survey up your ass.
Oh, and the reasons that GLBT folks are likelier to be into BDSM? Because queers are crazy and out of control and sexually perverted? Nope, we’re just likelier to admit being kinky. The Australian researchers interviewed 20,000 people about their sexual habits, and say they concluded that lots more Australians get into BDSM than care to admit it.
“There will definitely be more men and women who have sexual tastes in this direction but won’t call it this,” said Dr Juliet Richters, of the University of New South Wales. “[They] just happen to like being tied up and spanked as part of foreplay. “Ask them if they’re into BDSM they’ll say ‘Yuck, no’.”
These “Yuck, no” folks, it seems, were not counted among the 2 percent of men and 1.4 percent of women that “admit to enjoying dominance, submission and sadomasochism-type sex.” People that are openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual are likelier to own up to—and happily indulge—their kinks and fetishes. For us, coming out is the mountain and kink is the molehill. Before we can be sexually active we have to let go of “normal.” Once you’ve embraced your sexual difference—and perhaps paid a steep price for your honesty and integrity—what point is there in not doing the things that really turn you on?
For straights, on the other hand, kink is the mountain. Straight people don’t have to let go of “normal” to be straight. So often kinky straight people have a harder time embracing their kinks. Half my mail at “Savage Love” is from straight men and women who want to be reassured that their kinks—from BDSM to cross-dressing to fucking animals (!)—are “normal.” Kinky gays and lesbians never ask me if their “normal.” They’re not, they know it, they’ve moved on, and they’re happier for it.