Attention talented freaks and those who love to gawk at them: This Thursday, April 12 at the Crocodile Cafe, The Stranger will be presenting its first-ever Gong Show, hosted by yours truly.

This means we’re looking for any and all unique and entertaining acts hungry to strut their stuff before a panel of drunken judges for fabulous prizes. This means jugglers, magicians, yodelers, strongmen, stand-up comics, clog dancers, air bands, contortionists, jug bands, sword swallowers, vaudeville acts, and anyone else with an act that’s under four minutes long and doesn’t involve fire or minors. (The Croc is a bar.)

For more info and to sign up for the competition, go here. Talent may also sign-up at the door the night of the show, starting at 7pm.

And if you just want to gawk/cheer/heckle the drunken celebrity judges (including Sarah Rudinoff, Kerri Harrop, Dave Meinert, On the Boards artistic director Lane Czaplinski, and Stranger music editor Jonathan Zwickel) show up at the Crocodile on Thursday, April 12 for the fabulous and totally free freak parade kicking off at 9pm.

In the meantime, please enjoy this archival Gong Show footage featuring a young Paul Reubens, proving that even the gimmickiest Gong Show duet can lead to a triumphant Hollywood career and unfortunate public-porn bust. (And who is that lady with him? She looks so effing familiar, but I’m drawing a blank…)