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Monday, April 23, 2007

Smelly Britches, Crusty Sleeves or, Re: Sheryl Crow v. Karl Rove

posted by on April 23 at 11:22 AM

Yesterday, I was indifferent to Sheryl Crow. Today I have learned to loathe her.

First, there’s the Rove incident that Dan posted earlier:

In his attempt to dismiss us, Mr. Rove turned to head toward his table, but as soon as he did so, Sheryl reached out to touch his arm. Karl swung around and spat, “Don’t touch me.” How hardened and removed from reality must a person be to refuse to be touched by Sheryl Crow? Unfazed, Sheryl abruptly responded, “You can’t speak to us like that, you work for us.” Karl then quipped, “I don’t work for you, I work for the American people.” To which Sheryl promptly reminded him, “We are the American people.”

Ugh. That awful, presumptuous twit.

Then there are these selections from the quotable Crow, as reported today by the BBC:

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating…

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.

In her war against paper napkins, Crow has also designed a clothing line with a “dining sleeve.”

How removed from reality must a person be to think grown-ups will want to wipe their mouths with their sleeves?

Stupid Sheryl Crow.

RSS icon Comments

1

" Only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."

Lucky is the person who's not pestered by a Messy Marvin.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | April 23, 2007 11:47 AM
2

If she really wanted to reduce her carbon footprint, why doesn't she never perform again? That way, all the electricity that goes into powering the massive stadium she plays will be pre-emtively saved.

Posted by Ari Spool | April 23, 2007 11:48 AM
3

I like Sheryl Crow.

I like her even more, now.

Posted by ebsur | April 23, 2007 11:55 AM
4

Is she responsible for Lance's uniball?

Posted by all i wanna do, is sniff some glue. | April 23, 2007 12:05 PM
5

One square? Are you nuts?

Posted by Hernandez | April 23, 2007 12:08 PM
6

Ari, @2: touche!

Posted by raindrop | April 23, 2007 12:14 PM
7

I like Sheryl.
I DON'T like Karl.

Posted by monkey | April 23, 2007 12:18 PM
8

i'm always surprised when i read an unscripted comment from Rove - i always think of him as a dark lord of the Sith - very mindful, but very very evil. then he turns out to be really uptight.

if you don't want to be touched on the arm by Sheryl Crow you don't like the ladies much. and i'm saying that as a guy who hates her music.

Posted by maxsolomon | April 23, 2007 12:21 PM
9

If Sheryl Crow is only using one square of toilet paper these days, I don't think I'd want her touching my arm either.

(Is she also going to suggest saving water and paper towels by limiting hand-washing to only bathroom visits that involve #2?)

Posted by Christin | April 23, 2007 12:37 PM
10

Christin is today's Comment Winner!

Posted by Fnarf | April 23, 2007 12:46 PM
11

"In her war against paper napkins, Crow has also designed a clothing line with a “dining sleeve.”"

Um... Hasn't she ever heard of the old fashioned handkerchief? You can still buy them at most department stores. Heck, you can even get them all fancy with your initials on them! I would think promoting people going back to carrying a good old fashioned hanky in their purse or pocket would be loads easier then designing a clothing line and trying to convince them to wipe their face on their sleeve. Ewww.

Posted by lilblackcat | April 23, 2007 12:51 PM
12

do you get to use the sleeve wipe in the bathroom? i.e. does it do double doodie??

Posted by boobee | April 23, 2007 12:54 PM
13

One square is plenty, people. Use both sides, OK? God.

Sheryl Crow is funny. I like people who are funny.

Posted by elenchos | April 23, 2007 1:18 PM
14

Sheryl should design some orange jumpsuits for Rove and his fellow Treasonistas in the WH, so they look good under 24/7 torture sessions at GITMO.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 23, 2007 1:31 PM
15

Brandon, you're trying to act superior to Sheryl Crow, and it's not a convincing performance. Whatever her theories on saving the planet, she is still more beautiful, famous, talented, popular, and wealthy than you. If you two were standing next to each other, no one would even notice you were there.

I know, it's a hard pill for a narcissist to swallow.

Posted by Reality Check | April 23, 2007 2:16 PM
16

She should have gone after papter towels. It is ridiculous how people use several sheets just to wipe up a little spill instead of using a sponge or cloth.

Posted by raindrop | April 23, 2007 2:21 PM
17

@Reality Check, you're trying to act superior to Brandon, and it's not a convincing performance. Whatever his theories on saving the planet, he is still more beautiful, famous, talented, and popular than you. If you two were standing next to each other, no one would even notice you were there.

I know, it's a hard pill for a narcissist to swallow.

Posted by infrequent | April 23, 2007 2:23 PM
18

Maybe if Sheryl Crow stopped producing shit, the world WOULD produce less toilet paper.

Verbal shit counts, too.

Posted by Just me | April 23, 2007 2:30 PM
19

sheryl crow ... whatever.. but man if i was in the same room with karl rove touching his arm would be the LEAST of his concerns..
just sayin..

Posted by riz | April 23, 2007 2:54 PM
20

When I read the whole "dining sleeve/one square" thing it was clear to me that she was kidding. Did anyone else read it that way?

Posted by Eliza | April 23, 2007 6:10 PM
21

Funny audio here at where a caller explains to Rush the "single square TP technique"

Posted by steady | April 23, 2007 6:49 PM
22

You know it's stupid and not particularly funny, but it seems quite clear she was attempting humor.

Posted by Emmakat | April 23, 2007 8:45 PM

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