Politics The Best Show on Television
posted by April 16 at 11:09 AMon
The comedy continues…
Mitt “Morman Underpants” Romney flip-flops on gay rights, can’t remember when exactly he went small-game hunting but he distinctly remembers shooting something somewhere sometime and he absolutely loves, loves, loves guns, even if he doesn’t own one and has never gotten a hunting license. John McCain, like George “Embraceable You” Bush, has no “Plan B” for Iraq. Newt Gingrich is a serial adulterer, has been married three times, and is certifiably crazy. Rudy Giuliani has been married three times (and so has his wife!), does drag and makes out with men, is pro-gay rights, pro-gun control, and thinks the GOP base should just get the hell over the whole abortion issue. The actor Fred Thompson has cancer and is “not a Christian,” according to Rev. James Dobson. Tommy Thompson of Wisconsin is dogged by rumors of marital infidelity and bad plastic surgery. Crazy religious nut Sen. Sam Brownback is such a tool that not even his crazy religious nut pals are taking his candidacy seriously.
Oh, and for the first time ever Democratic presidential candidates are raising money at a faster rate than GOP presidential candidates.
Could it get any worse? Don’t see how… unless Mitt Romney attempted to up his pro-gun cred by, say, shooting a gay fetus. The GOP base woudn’t know what to do with that. They love them guns and they hate them gays—but they love them fetuses too. But they hate them gay fetuses. In fact, the religious right hates them gays so much that they’re prepared to stop insisting that homosexuality is a choice and accept evidence of a genetic basis for homosexuality—but only if they can genetically engineer the gayness out of them fetuses.
The race for GOP presidential nomination is the most entertaining thing on TV at the moment—better than The Office, better than Entourage, better than reruns of Seinfeld.