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Picture Me Ballin’

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Aside from the unfolding drama of the Renton-Oklahoma Sonics, the sport of basketball gets virtually no love around here. I place part of the blame on the utter mediocrity of the local team (specifically Bob Hill, Bob Hill’s hair, Nick Collison’s big, slow-moving lady hips, and a lack of inside game), but there are other reasons too (like impenetrable whiteness, but that’s a discussion for another time…)

Yesterday when I should have been doing things like, say, my taxes, I watched the Bulls destroy the Wizards in embarrassing fashion (they are nothing without Gil and Caron) and a tight game between the Mavs and the Spurs (who, with the exception of Manu Ginobli, make me want to fall asleep). To quote the slogan, I love this game. I fucking love this game, actually. The current athleticism and skill level in the NBA (not to mention number of bad/amazing tattoos) surpasses that of any other professional sport in America.

So fear not NBA fans (and I know there must be at least two of you out there)—the playoffs begin this Saturday, April 21, and I’ve taken it upon myself to be your guide. Lots of interesting things afoot—Nuggets seem to have finally found some kind of rhythm, Pistons are doing magical things with the addition of C-Webb, Dirk is Dirk, Baron Davis and his beard may just get the Warriors into the playoffs, D-Wade and Shaq are back. Stay tuned.

My pick? SUNS ALL THE WAY, baby.

Comments (17)

1

My pick? Slow-moving lady hips all the way, baby! (oh and by the way, who was your pick last year?)

Posted by Travis | April 16, 2007 12:41 PM
2

Hoo Wee, them's some nappy-headed hoods...

Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | April 16, 2007 12:52 PM
3

Yes, someone in Seattle cares about basketball! I am also routing for the Suns. I hate the Mavericks. I love Dantoni's philosophy of fast and fun compared tp Dirk the Jerk and life or death Avery.

Posted by lsk3ster | April 16, 2007 1:01 PM
4

I'm also rooting for the Suns. I was born and raised in Phoenix.

Woo Hoo! Go Suns!

Posted by Mike of Renton | April 16, 2007 1:09 PM
5

travis: suns, duh. i think they didn't have much left after the two seven game series against the lakers (fuck kobe) and the clippers--not enough to get past the mavs.

yes lsk3ster, yes! (though i have nothing against dirk) you should read :07 seconds or less: my season on the bench with the runnin' and gunnin' phoenix suns by jack mccallum. he chronicles last season, goes in depth on player and coaching personalities. a great read.

Posted by angela garbes | April 16, 2007 1:15 PM
6

i am trying to kill the part of me that gives a shit about pro sports. basketball was the last one i cared about. the sonics have almost driven the final nail in the coffin.

you'll be better off PARTICIPATING in a sport than sitting on your ass watching glandular freaks jump around.

Posted by Max Solomon | April 16, 2007 1:18 PM
7

ugg. the NBA is horrid. maybe the worst of the big three pro sports.

i can barely watch the NFL, and it's my favorite.

give me my florida gators and nothing else!

Posted by konstantConsumer | April 16, 2007 1:34 PM
8

I'm like you, Max. I've been holding a pillow over the face of my pro-sports loving self. Soon to be former self. I love college hoops (especially March Madness), and I play myself. I can't bear to pay $40 to see a bunch of lazy, spoiled jerks play ball (well, that describes 2/3 of the players & teams, at least). Once my Sonics life-force is snuffed out, I'll moved on to the M's, I think. If and when they ever get player salaries and ticket prices under control, maybe I'll venture back.

Posted by him | April 16, 2007 1:35 PM
9

Dallas. Why? Attrition.

Dallas has a 1st round bye against Golden State, then gets to coast in 5 games against Utah or Houston in the 2nd round.

Phoenix has to play the Lakers in the 1st round. 7 games of Kobe will sap their strength. Carmelo and Iverson will sap the strength of San Antonio. Then SA and Phoenix will play 7 more games of mutual assured self-destruction. The prize for winning that series?

A well-rested Dallas. Around game 4 or 5, SA or Phoenix will start collapsing.

Posted by Biff | April 16, 2007 3:24 PM
10

Angela, since you appear to be new in town, I’ll give you a quick primer on pro sports in Seattle: we don’t really go ga-ga over a team unless they’re good. Last time the Supes were in the playoffs everyone was watching—Nate McMillan put a solid team together out of not much. Ditto for the M’s and Seahawks—they got no love until they stopped sucking. UW football is the only sport here that gets big support no matter what. Then again, it’s been around as long as the pro teams have on the east coast.

That “Seattle doesn’t like basketball because it’s too white” is utter crap. Basketball was a big #1 here when the Supes played in the finals two years in a row in the 70’s, back when the NBA was the #4 pro league—and Seattle was even more white.

So we don’t go all ga-ga for crap teams like a certain other coast does. Any city that would go ga-ga for Nick Collison and Luke whatshisname deserves no respect.

I don’t know where you were when the UW was playing during March Madness in 2005 and 2006, but the bars were packed. Play the game right and we’ll come.

Posted by BB | April 16, 2007 3:51 PM
11

In Seattle we don’t really go ga-ga over a team unless they’re good. Last time the Supes were in the playoffs everyone was watching—Nate McMillan put a solid team together out of not much. Ditto for the M’s and Seahawks—they got no love until they stopped sucking. UW football is the only sport here that gets big support no matter what. Then again, it’s been around as long as the pro teams have on the east coast.

That “Seattle doesn’t like basketball because it’s too white” is utter crap. Basketball was a big #1 here when the Supes played in the finals two years in a row in the 70’s, back when the NBA was the #4 pro league—and Seattle was even more white.

So we don’t go all ga-ga for crap teams like a certain other coast does. Any city that would go ga-ga for Nick Collison and Luke whatshisname deserves no respect.

I don’t know where you were when the UW was playing during March Madness in 2005 and 2006, but the bars were packed. Play the game right and we’ll come.

Posted by BB | April 16, 2007 3:52 PM
12

Come playoff time I really feel the pain of living sans cable. What websites do you recommend for coverage? I can't deal with espn.com and all its video.

Posted by Maggie | April 16, 2007 5:18 PM
13

BB, thanks for the condescending, local fair weather fan's primer. i'm not asking seattle (where i've lived for 8 years) to go "ga-ga" over a shitty team (though, incidentally, rooting for one is what real local loyal fans do). it seems to me folks in seattle don't dig the nba game (and to clarify, i am talking about pro ball here) that much. i'm heartened to see there are a slog readers who are enthusiastic.

but fact: the nba gets less respect (not just in seattle) than other pro sports and the reasons have everything to do with whiteness/blackness. eventually i'll post about that.

Posted by angela garbes | April 16, 2007 5:39 PM
14

My pick: San Antonio over the Heat in 6. If it goes to 7, the Heat win.

I know thise are not chic picks but Dallas and Phoenix play an offense first helter skelter brand of basketball that has not succeeded in the playoffs for 20 years. Neither of these teams will win anything this year (or ever).

Posted by Deeply Depressed | April 16, 2007 6:27 PM
15

angela, it's not so much white/black as complete lack of defense. every game is one hundred something to one hundred something.

college ball is just as black, but they block, go for steals, run back up the court after their teams scores, etc.

Posted by konstantConsumer | April 16, 2007 7:54 PM
16

The Suns CAN beat the Lakers and that ball-hog supremo Kobe in the finals, no problem there. Whoever ends up playing San Antonio, I feel sorry for - also feel sorry for the viewer because the Spurs are boring. I pick Suns/Dallas in the West with maybe the edge going to the Suns. By the way, WTF is up with Joey Crawford going nuts on Tim Duncan, of all players? Duncan's mellow; he's no Iverson or one of those jerk showboaters. The ref threw that game Sunday.


One more then I'll shaddap: At one point in the 90s, the Sonics were so good, they were scary - no one wanted to face the Sonics. If they get a good team again, this town will rally.

Posted by Gary Floyd | April 17, 2007 6:53 PM
17

and up jumped the swagman and sprang into the billabong while watching how his penis patches got wet at http://www.averagepenis.mysize.ws

Posted by penis patches | April 30, 2007 11:32 AM

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