Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Your Daily Chris Crocker | On Haters. (Specifically: Who ... »

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Meet Rev. Hutcherson’s Favorite New Ex-Lesbian

posted by on April 10 at 9:27 AM

venusmag.jpg

It’s a miracle! Charlene Cothran has been freed from the bondage of lesbianism! We could write her off as just another weak, silly, insecure homo finally undone by the zap family (disowned when she came out) and religion (raised in a deeply homophobic faith) put on her head. But Cothran is also the founder and publisher of Venus, a lifestyle magazine for black lesbians. If God can make someone like Cothran straight—because that’s what ex-gay is, right? ex-gay = straight, right?—then miracles do happen and anything is possible through God and no one has to be gay and can I get an “amen!” and blah blah fuckin’ blah.

But check out Clay Cane’s interview with Cothran—we know you’re out there reading, Rev. Hutcherson, and I’m ordering you in particular to go read Cane’s interview with Cothran. Here are some choice quotes:

So, what about you now really makes you heterosexual?

Charlene: Nothing. You’ve spoken a piece of truth. Right now I am completely satisfied with my walk, which is me and God. My prayer wasn’t—Lord make me heterosexual. My prayer was not fix me, repair me and make me straight—that was not my prayer. My prayer was God make me whole in every sense of the word, make me whole mentally, make me whole spiritually, make me whole completely….

Are you saying that you are not heterosexual?

Charlene: I am saying that I am celibate right now. I’m not saying there won’t ever be a man in my life. You’re asking me about where I am and that’s all I can speak to. Today I am celibate. Again, I don’t say I will never have a man in my life, I’m not saying I will never be married to a man. Who knows what the Lord has in store for me. But…there is one thing I can say and one thing I will go on record and say—I will never be entangled with the bondage of lesbianism again….

Are you physically attracted to men?

Charlene: [pauses] I am physically attracted to the spirit of Christ right now. You’re trying to take me down a road that I won’t go down right now.

Oh no, I’m just trying to ask the questions that I know people have been asking.

Charlene: Right now I’m in a place where I won’t even allow myself to think about attraction to men….

Are you still attracted to women or is that attraction completely gone?

Charlene: I would say after 29 years of walking in the sin of lesbianism that if the devil were going to try and tempt me that he’s probably not going to send a football player, if you will, because that didn’t do it for me. You follow me?

It’s nice to know that ex-lesbian Charlene Cothran is in a place where she isn’t allowed to think about attraction to men. My office is down the street from just such a place—it’s called the Wildrose, Seattle’s only dyke bar. I’ll buy you a beer, Charlene, the next time you’re in town.

And Rev. Hutcherson? You may fool some straight people—particularly the straight fools in your congregation—with your talk about “ex-gays,” and the healing power of Christ, and miracles, and getting right with God. But sane, secure gay people—the vast majority of us—don’t buy it. We know being “ex-gay” doesn’t “free” a weak, silly, and insecure homosexual from her homosexuality. It only “liberates” her from the possibility of a full, adult, intimate relationship. She doesn’t get to be straight…. she gets to be celibate. Wow. That’s enticing.

So while Charlene may have reunited her with her bigoted family and “gotten right” with her fictional boogeyman of a savior, she hasn’t become straight. She’s still a ‘mo—a slow ‘mo, but a ‘mo.

Two other quick observations: Venus used to be a lifestyle magazine for lesbians. Now it’s… what? A lifestyle magazine for lesbians that want to leave the lesbian lifestyle? I’m not sure there’s a big market for that.

And you gotta love the cover text: “REDEEMED! 10 Ways to Get Out of ‘The Life’ if You Want Out!” It would appear that Cothran attended the same magazine publishing seminars as the editors and publishers of Seattle’s idiotic “lifestyle” magazines. “10 Ways Out of the Gay Lifestyle!” “25 Up and Coming Neighborhoods!” “367 Top Doctors!” “Seattle’s 100 Best Restaurants!” Lists, lists, lists. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

RSS icon Comments

1

I've had this conversation with my parents and they've basically said the same thing. It's not about fixing or changing me. Without saying specifically, they are viewing homosexuality the same way they would alcoholism. Just because you don't drink anymore doesn't mean you don't want a drink every day. Being an alcoholic isn't the problem, succumbing to it is.

So that's the view of the moderate non-militant christian... you'll always be gay but with god's help you don't have to live that way.

To me it's still offensive. If god is willing to make me live in misery over something I had no control over then nothing I do is ever going to please that god anyway so why bother.

Posted by monkey | April 10, 2007 9:41 AM
2

Yeah, my mom has compared my homosexuality to drug abuse and most recently theft. (Huh?) You can't reason with someone that illogical, and it drives me nuts.

Posted by Carollani | April 10, 2007 9:47 AM
3

Lunacy begets religion; religion begets lunacy.

Posted by seattle98104 | April 10, 2007 9:49 AM
4

I haven't had sex, or thought about sex today (give me time, I've only been awake for half an hour). Am I not a lesbian right now?

I'll call Dad, he'll be so pleased.

Posted by Rebecca | April 10, 2007 9:51 AM
5

i'm very pleased. with all of you.

Posted by Dad | April 10, 2007 10:00 AM
6

As Don Imus might say, this ex-lesbian is still a "nappy-headed 'mo." But would he get in trouble for it? Probably not, sadly.

Posted by EXTC | April 10, 2007 10:00 AM
7

"[pauses] I am physically attracted to the spirit of Christ right now."

translation: no, i am not attracted to men.

Posted by Max Solomon | April 10, 2007 10:02 AM
8

"I am physically attracted to the spirit of Christ right now."

I want that on a t-shirt.

Posted by JC | April 10, 2007 10:02 AM
9

Boners for Christ!

Posted by elswinger | April 10, 2007 10:09 AM
10

The things people will say to keep their imaginary friends happy....*sigh*

Posted by Laurie D. T. Mann | April 10, 2007 10:15 AM
11

"I will never be entangled with the bondages of lesbianism again..."

What kind of language is this? THis woman is salivating for some bed restraints and a good fisting, you can just hear it.

Posted by M | April 10, 2007 10:21 AM
12

Won't every lesbian who "leaves the lesbian lifestyle" mean one less reader for Venus? Among all the other stupid, self-destructive things her "redemption" is, isn't also really bad for business?

Posted by Cori | April 10, 2007 10:23 AM
13

I hear ya, girl! That Jesus is a HOTTIE.

Posted by H0RATI0SANZSERIF | April 10, 2007 10:24 AM
14

She hasn't converted to heterosexuality. She just went back into the closet.

It has to take some powerful guilt to do that. It was a struggle for me to come out of that closet when I was young, but now that I'm out, I can't imagine anything that anyone could do or say that would convince me to go back in.

Posted by SDA in SEA | April 10, 2007 10:32 AM
15

She sounds like a nun. No sure if she's catholic, but if she's hot for Christ, she should commit. Then she could live with lots of other women who aren't going to marry men (I mean other women who are hot for Christ.)

Posted by Lorin | April 10, 2007 10:32 AM
16

who is clay cane? he asked some good questions.

Seriously, I was laughing at most of this interview.

"They will be left without excuse because I am one of many being sent into the world to release the truth about Jesus Christ." The one? Like Matrix "the one"? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Only sad part was that gay teens need to convert. That was kind of scary.

Posted by Y | April 10, 2007 10:34 AM
17

As far as temptation goes, I don't think she has anything to worry about in either direction. Not until she clears up those unsightly yellow blotches on her face at least.

Posted by Fnarf | April 10, 2007 11:07 AM
18

I look forward to welcoming Ms. Cothran back into the fold as an ex-gay gay. How terribly tragic the lengths to which people are able to delude themselves.

Posted by Sarah R. | April 10, 2007 11:52 AM
19

Uh, I only read the parts that Dan quoted here, but wow. Apparently, all one needs to do to become un-gay and find salation is simple:

Become celibate. Forever. The end. Amen.

That way, you don't have to have sex with men. Or women. What a relief!

By the way, would being attracted to Christ be necrophilia?

Posted by Mandy | April 10, 2007 12:30 PM
20

Okay Charlene...mmmmmhhhmmm

Posted by In the Life | April 10, 2007 12:54 PM
21

"I am physically attracted to the spirit of Christ right now."

http://www.totalobscurity.com/blog/studly-jesus.jpg

Posted by monkey | April 10, 2007 12:55 PM
22

Mandy: no, being attracted to Christ isn't necrophilia. Christ rose from the dead, so it's not the same thing.

Is there a "-philia" word for being attracted to imaginary friends?

Posted by Mike in MO | April 10, 2007 1:12 PM
23

From all the squirming she was doing in that interview, it sounds like she's more in bondage now than before she converted.

Posted by Mike in P Square | April 10, 2007 1:22 PM
24

How can you be physically attracted to a spirit? o__O

Posted by Juliet | April 10, 2007 4:14 PM
25

Mandy, I think the term you want is zombiphillia.

Posted by elswinger | April 10, 2007 4:40 PM
26

@21

I'd hit it.

Posted by James Gonzales-Meisler | April 10, 2007 8:18 PM
27


Well, now I know that Venus is a crazy-ass weirdo magazine now. I thought I remember it being really cool. I'm so two years ago.

Posted by thanks | April 10, 2007 10:12 PM
28

O.o

That's not god you've found, Charlene. It's called delusion. It's similar, many people confuse the two.

Posted by Shea | April 11, 2007 10:40 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).