Comments on Lifelong AIDS Alliance: Now Backing Sero-Sorting and Restraint

I completely agree. I work in HIV preventioni in SF and the Dept. of Public Health just unvieled a new ad campaign Disclose HIV (disclosehiv.org) that encourages sero-sorting. They're beautiful graphic art, too. You should check them out!

I first ran into the discrimination when I briefly lived in San Diego. Countless times I was rejected by a poz person because I was negative. But do the same in reverse and you are treated like a hate crime perp.
The attitude is here as well and it always shocked me how blatant the poz guys would be about it, but then cry foul if I ever did it in the reverse.
There is nothing wrong with this attitude no matter what side you are on, but when there are condomns involved wtf!!??
Now I'm in a happy "mixed" marriage and we're fine. We're all adults, we all know the risk factors, so everyone just shut up and fuck already(safely of course duh!)

I use to work at Northwest AIDS Foundation, and man, management there hated Savage, he was like Damien to them. I remember at a staff meeting, somebdoy asking, "But why does Dan hate us"

I remember a time when Dan came in and asked for Terry and they were all freaking out cuz Dan Savage was at the front desk. It was hilarious. Glad to see they came around.

Who the hell are poz people to tell me i need to take a risk i may not want to? Frankly, i can live with a poz person's feelings getting hurt so long as it helps me stay negative. it sounds harsh but we are talking about a debilitating, communicable, and life-shortening (downright deadly even) disease, i don't care how well the cocktails work.

Is this the a fear response to the disease? Yes it is, but the alternative, no matter how small the risk, (not at least trying to sero-sort), is risky.

I don't mind turning down neg guys and I definately understand when they turn me down because I'm turning them down for the exact same reason.

But, if I met the most incredible wonderful mindblowingly fantastic man and he was neg I can't promise I'd turn him down.

You could also enlist in the HIV vaccine trials - there are a number here.

I find it odd that there is nary a mention of condoms on their card. It seems like such a glaring omission.

I realize most people are aware of condoms, but still, I think it bares mentioning. Barebacking seems to be becoming an acceptable risk for some people, which makes me cringe.

Still, despite that glaring omission, this does seem like a step in the right direction.

umm SDA...look at the bottom of the card again...right there it says: "Use latex or polyurethane condoms..."

Let's be clear: In terms of a relationship, condom-less sex is not a goal, it's a situation--just like how the use of condoms is the situation between me and my boyfriend (I'm negative, he's positive).

I appreciate the importance of attaching moral imperatives to HIV prevention, they're very useful--but I certainly don't feel I've sacrificed anything by committing to a life of safe sex, nor do I feel that I've crossed some ethical boundary by loving someone who's HIV positive.

By all means, I think it's an echo of the very reason I came out as a gay man in the first place: I'll love who I damn well please--as much as I can, as best I can.

Dan, the card recommends blow jobs. Assuming I have no open sores or tiny cuts in my mouth, what is the risk when giving head (and not swallowing or getting "cum in your mouth")?

Dan, thanks again for your defense of common sense. The whole barebacking trend is IMHO an example of internalized homophobia. It is self loathing projected on to their partners. I am an out and proud gay man and at the same time I feel that militant barebackers are an embarrasment to our community. Of course when a barebacker eventually tests positive we will be there with compassion. But please don't make that necessary okay guys.

Mike in MO: I won't speak for Dan, but from the work I've done in prevention and reading the research, it's very, very low. There have been only a slight few cases of transmission documented where there wasn't also some other risk factor such as IV drug use or anal sex where a condom might have failed or been used improperly or not at all.

The same is true with the hysteria in the health care and law enforcement industry regarding needle sticks and contact with blood. Very few cases of transmission have been confirmed where there wasn't some other risk factor such as those above involved.

Dan,
don't you worry one little bit about gay men enjoying life and sex like many of us did back in the late '70's/early 80's. "AIDS" is far, far, far too much of a money-maker for the pharmaceutical companies for there to be a "vaccine" that will "cure" "it".

You can rest easy that gay mens' greatest claim to victimhood will not be taken from them via a "vaccine". The social engineering and profitability of "AIDS" is something very few people are keen to actually see then end of.

The easiest way to reduce number of partners in SF is to sort on two factors: no bareback & no PNP. That cuts out about 75% of the guys looking for casual sex right there. Yeah, lots of nights with me and my hand, but that's what xtube's for.