A few months ago, Theater Schmeater announced it was going to maybe-sorta-kinda get the ball rolling on a new performance festival by hosting Open Stage, a kind of mini-fringe, timed to match the summer Canadian fringe circuit, so that it might eventually grow into a full-fledged, big-city festival, with touring acts and everything.

You know, like they kind they have in bustling, grown-up cities like Saskatoon (population 200,000, nickname: “POW City!”).

Theater Schmeater was going to accept applications, choose twelve plays by lottery, help small companies produce their own shows. But it ain’t gonna happen. Only six people sent in applications. One-half of the minimum number needed.

It might’ve been the $500 venue fee. It might’ve been bad advertising. It might’ve been timidity. I guess we’re just not ready to pony up and join bustling, grown-up cities like Winnipeg (population 630,000, nickname: “The Peg”) and Regina (population 180,000, winner of the 2004 “Cultural Capital of Canada” designation—in the over 125,000 population category) and good old Saskatoon.