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it could be worse. it could be a combined- capoeira-spoken word performance.

or a drum circle with stinky people. =(

Posted by SeMe | April 6, 2007 5:30 PM

You know what's even worse? Hating on something that anyone and everyone already fucking hates: hippies.

A real critic, when faced with shit that can't stand, does something far worse. They ignore it.

Posted by Schneider's Utility Belt | April 6, 2007 5:55 PM

I don't know what makes someone a "real critic," but FUN critics tear shit down and make fun of it until the responsible party rightfully cries.

Posted by mattymatt | April 6, 2007 6:15 PM

The difference between critics and audiences is that one is a group of humans and one is not.
Edward Albee

Posted by Robot Journalist | April 6, 2007 6:19 PM

Speaking of events at the CHAC, why on earth has the Stranger been completely ignoring the Ignite Seattle / Make mini-beer-tech-con nights??? I mean, you even link to Make as "friends of the slog" but you don't even bother to give it a quick mention, WTF

Posted by CHAC is a block away from your office | April 6, 2007 8:09 PM

Existential Detective Agency? What a total rip off of I Heart Huckabees. And I doubt they have one iota of talent.

Posted by Gitai | April 6, 2007 9:10 PM

Which itself was of course, inspired by the title of an old Douglas Adams novel...

Posted by COMTE | April 6, 2007 9:28 PM

it's on monday - what else are you going to book on monday?

it wouldn't be so un-fun if they burned actual men - like the lead singer of the Shins for example. I suspect he sounds almost the same on fire as he does singing, and I'd enjoy seeing that confirmed in the burning flesh.

Posted by kinaidos | April 6, 2007 9:32 PM

What happens at Burning Man stays at Burning Man.

Posted by The Bailiff | April 6, 2007 10:01 PM

faaaaart on all of you.

Posted by diggum | April 6, 2007 10:22 PM

I need to find myself more non-Burner friends. Really, I do.

Posted by tsm | April 7, 2007 12:19 AM

@5 - there are too many fucking Burners at Ignite.

Posted by tsm | April 7, 2007 12:21 AM

Anti-antiestablishmentarianism. How original.

Posted by BorschtOrSmoothie | April 7, 2007 8:38 AM

Ooooh. The company of sarcastic people who sneer and probably misuse the word irony.

You're right. It's no fun. Stay home.

Posted by PrincessPatchouli | April 7, 2007 8:47 AM

Wow. Something else the stranger hates! How original.

Posted by The Brianna | April 7, 2007 8:54 AM

Trust me, it is no fun at all. Please stay home and make love to your computer, or go to the Cha-Cha and talk trash about Burn Night. Oh wait, you already do that.

Posted by Fauxfaux | April 7, 2007 9:08 AM

"A contemporary take on the classic vaudeville, cabaret and follies shows that have wowed audiences for decades."

I've never been to burning man, but I certainly wouldn't go through the trouble of designing and welding together a double decker bus covered with feathers powered by acid trips just so I can enjoy some guys in red and white pinstripes dish out slapstick and one liners.

Posted by jackie treehorn | April 7, 2007 9:28 AM

Wow. The opposite of a well-supported opinion from the opposite of an even remotely attractive or interesting writer. Amazing that one would find such a thing on a blog that is the opposite of useful or intelligent. And for this, we can thank the
the opposite of a decent newspaper. Thanks, The Stranger! You are the opposite of a good use of space.

Posted by Jackie McAsserson | April 7, 2007 10:09 AM

If Burn night is not for you, then guess what, it's obviously not for you. If however it is, well than it is. It is not an advertisement for Burning Man, nor is it designed to represent it. It is for it's own purpose, and if you don't get it, then you weren't invited. Observers are not filled in on purpose. Either figure it out or move on.

Stranger... Obviously new here.

Posted by Zjimmer | April 7, 2007 10:17 AM

Pissed off hippies are funny.

Posted by SeMe | April 7, 2007 10:20 AM

SeMe, totally! See ya there monday.

Posted by james | April 7, 2007 10:25 AM

Correction, SeMe
Erica is the opposite of funny.

Posted by Jackie McAsserson | April 7, 2007 10:35 AM

hahaha. you funny burners have your panties in a bunch. Haaha. the Stranger is paid to hate, y'all.
Also Borscht dude up there: it's anti*dis*establishmentarianism. If you're gonna hate, get a dictionary.

blahblahblah, I'm better than all of you. I'm going to the sculpture park to cry in my big can of PBR I have wrapped in a recycled paper bag. My white belt is cinched too tightly and my brilliantine is weeping from my tousled haircut into my sad, sad eyes. boohoo.

emo men ejaculate tears.

Posted by I love to hate too | April 7, 2007 10:49 AM

Burner-oriented bar events are, as a rule, boring as shit. Erica's right. I bet she'd like a lot of burner culture if it weren't for the burners themselves...

Posted by NaFun | April 7, 2007 4:46 PM

NaFun, what exactly, to you, defines a burner? Who ARE these mythical beings that purportedly destroy the very culture they created?

Posted by The Brianna | April 7, 2007 4:58 PM

Burning Man jumped the shark years ago. It's no better to me than Lollapalooza.

Posted by Gomez | April 7, 2007 5:52 PM

Honestly, the Burning Man folks wouldn't be nearly so annoying if it were possible to be stuck next to a couple of them at a party and find them talking, for at least a few minutes, about something unrelated to Burning Man.

Posted by tsm | April 7, 2007 6:31 PM

tsm, your logic is a little flawed. You wouldn't know they're Burners unless they were talking about Burning Man at a party, which you find annoying. But when they're not talking about Burning Man, they're talking about other stuff so you don't know they're burners. Basically, you detest losers with no life who yap your ear off about shit you couldn't care less about -- but don't we all?

PS - Burning Man itself is fucking awesome but Burning Man events in the city -- apparently reserved for unattractive, alcoholic, socially retarded, hetro 30- and 40-something polysexual-drama geeks -- are indeed the opposite of fun.

Posted by GW | April 7, 2007 7:20 PM


Don't go if you aren't interested, why would we want you there anyway?

It's funny, the same people that like to talk shit about what we do are the same ones that have a blast at our events in the city. Most of what we do we don't mention Burning Man because that's not what our events are about. However, Monday nights are Burning Man related because it's a night where a lot of us like to get together, have some beers with friends and listen to music. How much fun do you really want to have on a Monday?

Last year the Stranger wrote 4 or 5 pieces on the events and the art that we do in the city. They didn't even know that we were Burners because most of the time we aren't advertising that. Each one of those pieces were extremely positive, ranging from a review for the School House Rawk New Years eve party, to a party crasher on the Visible Lingerie, and the fund raiser event that was put together for the 2112 survivors. All said the Seattle Burning Man community raised roughly $30K for various charities. We built a school in Vietnam, provided support to Katrina, help the 2112 survivors, funded the Youngstown Cultural Arts Center, etc...

I am proud of this community, and I am proud of the work that has been done in the last year. We may drink, we may not be the prettiest folk, and we may talk about our projects a lot, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We are not Burners, we do not "go" to Burning Man. We make the event happen, we build the art and the projects that amaze you at Bumper Shoot, and you don't even know who did it. Burning Man is simply a common event that has tied us together, it's an experience, a reason to do something, an inspiration, and mostly (to me) a place where I get to go and play with our big toys that they won't let us get away with in the city.

I am not concerned about those who don't like Burning Man and don't want to show up to an event, that's OK. Everyone is welcome (as long as you behave yourself) but we are not short on amazing people that love to have fun and build some pretty crazy stuff... So stay home on Mondays, don't worry we will continue to plan events, and you will go to them and you will love them, and you won't even know that Burners did it.

We fix you in the ER, we stand up for you in court, we design your kitchens, we build your websites, we write your software, we design your signs, we sell you your mints, we are the DJs, the bar owners, and the chefs; you pass many of us on the street every single day without notice. I am sorry everyone, we are here, we are everywhere, and there is no escape. Buwahahahaha...

Posted by Sweet Chris Bell | April 8, 2007 3:52 AM

Oh and thank you Erica for the Press, I appreciate it! As always, there is no such thing as bad press!

Oh, and based on that image, I would say the event sucks too, I have no idea where that came from.

Posted by Sweet Chris Bell | April 8, 2007 3:56 AM

Burners are not hippies. They are are folks who didn't get any play in high school and now that they are "big kids" they can wear bad clothes and have bad haircuts....oh and have orgies with other people who wear bad clothes and have bad haircuts. Oh - and they can make "art" to bring to there parties.....but let's face it, "art" is an way to validate the fact that they spend there lives partying and doing nothing. Thanks for all the money you raise. I'm sure it makes you feel better about your pathetic lives.

Posted by wi | April 8, 2007 10:53 AM


Posted by he | April 8, 2007 10:55 AM

"Thanks for all the money you raise. I'm sure it makes you feel better about your pathetic lives."

Well wi, it makes the people in the South feel better that they arent still fucking sitting in a rotting festering pile of mold that used to be their home before Katrina, with no one to help them.

It makes the children in Vietnam feel better that they have a school to go to, and books to read and school supplies to use.

As for how it makes *you* feel? Seems kind of irrelavant. I'd like to ask you the last good thing you did without expecting anything back?

Posted by The Brianna | April 8, 2007 3:52 PM

Yep, never mind that the Stranger's current operating advertising space occupies 80% of the piss-poor layout design that seems to comprise the Stranger, or that the most relevant article of writing happens to be Dan Savage's rants on sexual politics, that Barnett can't find an actual article subject (or that she also managed to go to Burning Man this year on the Stranger's Dime with members of the same community she disses whenever she can).

One notable thing is that the volume of advertisements for sexual companions at reasonable rates is approximately the same as the volume given to actual written articles.

So forgive me if I find it amusing that the Stranger, (whose hackery generators occasionally appear like retarded children dancing ballet when they attempt to take on anything of serious note or social import outside of naming anal froth after politicians) seems to attempting to give the Monday nights at CHAC a bad name, especially because Barnett's Bush Got Burned at the playa (see her half-assed reporting on the main Burning Man event in September of 2006).

For whatever reason, that is. Possibly just content generation, or even maybe just a bitter Barnett seeking out something new to diss.

Unfortunately for Miss Barnett, is simply a fictional character. And the irony is, he was a fictional character who was an actual journalist.

Posted by The Drunken Monkey | April 8, 2007 9:59 PM

I was recently forced to brave Ozzies on a Friday night. I found myself beginning to feel all snarky about the mainstream UW/Eastside squeaky clean Meat Market wares populating this rather uninteresting bar. I drove home to the Hill, passing white belt/70s ski sweater bed head denizens and feeling grateful (for the first time) to see them.
My point? It's easy to sit back and judge and point fingers and it makes not one bit of difference usually if you are a regular person. BUT if you are a paper, you have some responsibility to oh, I dunno, have an actual POINT. Barnet has no point with this SLOG, moreover she's a poor journalist based on pretty much everything I've read of hers. And the Stranger LONG ago gave up it's claim to being an actual 'journal' ie written by journalists.
The one function left to the Stranger is an ok complilation of events, and Dan Savage as hilarious, well written and unapolgeticly true to himself now as he was when I moved here 13 years ago.

I think we should all just get used to the idea that in a liberal city we are left without a truly alternative paper.

Posted by lola | April 9, 2007 8:11 AM

LOL at the Burners all in a huff.

Posted by tsm | April 9, 2007 9:59 AM

Dear Stranger, FIYB.

Posted by Jackie McAsserson | April 9, 2007 10:35 AM

my eyeballs just burned and fell out of my head. THANKS A LOT.

Posted by maria | April 9, 2007 12:54 PM

i miss the Rocket.

i even miss Tablet.

i like burn night, even tho that flyer is an affront to my senses, and i've made some pretty bad flyers over the years. not a big fan of the new lower level layout, though.

i even like erica, former vegan, biggest hippie, and most heterosexual female at the Stranger. we share the same favorite monkee: mike.

my turn-offs include rice burners, burnt rice, the phrase "rice is nice," and trickle-down economics. who are we? Salacious Crumb!??

see you next tuesday,

Posted by diggum | April 9, 2007 1:40 PM

Pissed off hippies with flamethrowers are even funnier.

Posted by Fauxfaux | April 9, 2007 4:12 PM

Thanks for the new tagline, Erica!

BTW, if you really want to encounter the opposite of fun you should really check out the Burning Man potlucks. Those are like totally gay.

Posted by Michael Holden | April 9, 2007 4:18 PM

"They are are folks who didn't get any play in high school and now that they are "big kids" they can wear bad clothes and have bad haircuts....oh and have orgies with other people who wear bad clothes and have bad haircuts."

YEAH! Why can't they just be normal and cool like the everyone in LustLab?!?!

I would never read this paper. :-P

Posted by Fauxfaux | April 9, 2007 4:30 PM

Uhm. Cienna Madrid wrote the article on Burning Man 2006 for The Stranger, not Erica Barnett.

Posted by treacle | April 9, 2007 9:41 PM

the amusing thing is I first met Erica at a Burn-sponsored CHAC event, even if she wasn't aware of it at the time ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 9, 2007 11:11 PM

Things I learned from this thread

1. "Burn" nights suck (inferred - methinks protest much?)
2. "Burners" are cultish in their defense of a crappy flyer
3. The stranger is great until it's snarkyness bites a "burner" in the ass
4. "Burners" think "Burners" are the most important seattlites because they are so rad and have jobs - why doesn't the stranger realize this?
5. "Burners" are very fragile (please thestranger people - go easy on them they just can't take it.)
6. They are so so very proud of themselves
7. Only "Burners" do good deeds (katrina\seattle murders) come on you non-"Burners" get off your ass!
8. "Burners" attack without even knowing who they are attacking.
9. What happens at Burningman stays at Burningman* - most likely out of embarrassment
10. "Burners" are starved for attention

*a rule vegas instituted so married men could cheat

Posted by gayzell | April 10, 2007 3:12 PM

In conclusion
Burners fall into one of these
categories or all of the above -
(check all that apply "Burners")

drug addled (that would be E
super high on themselves
poly or just plain easy
rich neo-hippies
socially challenged
publicity hounds
weakminded cult followers
reactionary hit men
and oh yeah (my take) WHITE, WHITE and (off)WHITE (sorry to you token black/minority folk - I know I almost was one)...

have your night - put your bunny ears on and make out in your E infused alternate reality

just don't claim it's fun - it just is.


Posted by gayzell | April 10, 2007 3:15 PM


1. We never claimed it was fun.
2. Never said we are the only ones doing anything
3. We didn't make the flyer
4. Not so much fragile as entertaining
5. There is a lot to be proud of
6. I do love attention. :)
7. Hey, I saw a black guy at a party once, and last year I saw a latino wearing bunny ears.

Once again someone has posted a list defining what is a Burner, I love these. It's almost like you have a tiny idea of what you are talking about. We like to do stuff, we like to have fun (albeit in our own way), and what we do doesn't work for everyone. What I can't seem to understand is why you care? Or really why anyone cares...

Most importantly, Burning Man is a realatively small event in a desert. More people go to your average Seahawks game then to Burning Man. You are friends with the people that like to do the same things you do. We just happen to do things a little differently, aparently so differently that the different people are now upset at us for being different, or maybe that we are really more yuppie and East side than we think we are, or that we are really conformists doing the same thing but in a different way but wearing different clothes, but having the same hair cuts...

Or maybe, I could care less about Burning Man, and what I do care about is hanging out with my friends, most of whom go to the event in the desert.

I can do that on Monday's while playing records on a big ass sound system and drinking cheap drinks. Now that sounds like fun to me. I recommend that everyone get hooked up with a deal like this.

Posted by Sweet Chris Bell | April 10, 2007 3:59 PM

gayzell, you don't seem bitter at all.

Posted by Fauxfaux | April 10, 2007 5:13 PM

Burners have even graced the cover of The Stranger, not once, but twice (yeah, one was bought).

Posted by Ebenezer | April 10, 2007 7:17 PM

Non-burners getting pissed off about how pissed off they think the burners are is funny!


Posted by The Brianna | April 12, 2007 9:28 AM

Oh the gaul of these so called "Burners" defending something they feel passionate about against lazy, tossed off negative comments. Don't you know passion went out in the 80s? Thank you but I'll spend my Monday night updating my snarky blog about all the events/people/things I know I hate without even attending/meeting/experiencing.

Posted by ZAYAZ | April 12, 2007 10:37 AM

I've been to burning man. So I guess you'd label me a "burner". In which case I guess you could write an accurate description of who I am and the values I hold...

...go on then...

Posted by Russ | April 13, 2007 12:54 AM

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