Slog - Comments on Excepts from Awake!, a Magazine Someone Left Two Copies of on a Bench in an Oregon Train Station http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le Over the weekend I had to kill a half hour in a train station in Oregon. There were these two copies of a magazine called Awake! sitting on a bench. On the cover of one is a crying little girl in a pink shirt and, in the corners, images of explosions, helicopters, tornadoes, and flooding. The cover text: "WHY?" And in smaller letters: "Answering the Hardest of Questions." Intrigued, I flipped it open right to an article titled "Young People Ask... How Can I Conquer This Habit?" The accompanying photo is of a man sitting in a leather chair with... Copyright 2008 Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:37:05 -0800 Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:29:18 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Kate I suppose the article also extends to those with generic names. Unless the Bobs and Joes of the world are better at resisting the exotic lure of jerking off.

]]> Kate http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691513 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691513 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:43:39 -0800 Comment by Run... Yah, the damn Jehova Witnesses come to my door about every two weeks handing out the latest copy of that stupid magazine. I always just harrass them by singing such things as happy birthday and take the magazine for entertainment purposes.

]]> Run... http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691516 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691516 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:47:07 -0800 Comment by Dougsf I've never struggled with masterbation. Like most, I'd imagine, it has always come pretty naturally.

Watchtower finally got some competition. Sweet!

]]> Dougsf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691537 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691537 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:00:51 -0800 Comment by Ken I used to work for some JW's and we had Awake! _and_ Watchtower scattered around the store. Interesting reading.

I prefer my religious nutjobs to be like the JW's. They don't participate in worldly institutions. Government included.

]]> Ken http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691545 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691545 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:04:04 -0800 Comment by scharrera So now that Prince is a JW, he's got to stay away from the masturbation and the fornication? Seriously?

]]> scharrera http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691548 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691548 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:09:32 -0800 Comment by KS It makes me feel like a youth again too, because that is the kind of thing that I actually believed then, and I really did feel a lot of grief and anxiety over masturbating. I remember I once managed to go two weeks without (marked by little x's on my calendar) and felt enspirited and emboldened by my spiritual victory, until a new girl showed up at youth group and all fell to shit. I kid not.

I mean, I'm okay now--this plumbing gets no lack of polishing--but I grew up in the evangelical freakpit and can assure you all that this kind of thing isn't restricted to JWs and Westboro-type fundies.

]]> KS http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691555 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691555 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:16:05 -0800 Comment by Jessica Oh man, if that's the kind of mind-expanding article that's normally in Awake, I'll start reading the ones that get left in our building's laundry room. It sure beats the handmade sign made by someone shilling for Melaluca stuff.

]]> Jessica http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691559 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691559 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:19:11 -0800 Comment by Sean You're in luck Christopher:

What's Wrong With Premarital Sex?

]]> Sean http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691560 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691560 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:20:08 -0800 Comment by stan Here you go, Mr. Frizzy:
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040722a/article_01.htm

]]> stan http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691565 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691565 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:24:56 -0800 Comment by him I'm going home and rubbing one out, post haste!

]]> him http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691577 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691577 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:41:18 -0800 Comment by Gomez What I fucking hate is when they creep up on you while you're waiting for a bus on a Saturday or Sunday morning and push one of their Armaggeddon Rags on you.

What's funny is that, when I was growing up, my born again Xtian mother would willingly open the front door and talk with the Jehovah's witnesses, but would have us shut off the lights, duck and hide when the Mormons came knocking. She eventually tired of this, but didn't get a clue and put up a No Soliciting sign until around 2003.

And EVERYTHING in their 'reading material' is about how the end times are coming, punctuated with lovely, colorful pictures of a bloody, cut up Jesus, and people cowering before the fires of Armageddon. With propechies like that, who needs hope?

]]> Gomez http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691593 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691593 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:30:22 -0800 Comment by dirge JW's always warm my heart a bit because, though their ardent devotion to a literal reading of the bible is nine types of creepy, holding them up in comparison to "modern" christianity shows how much the ideologies of modern churches have been surgically altered in order to remain palatable. In other words, they're insane but at least they aren't power-hungry conmen.

]]> dirge http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691600 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691600 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:58:56 -0800 Comment by Master Bates I've never struggled with masturbation, it's always been easy for me. Thank you Jehovahway One Canobe.

]]> Master Bates http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691604 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691604 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 19:08:51 -0800 Comment by Fnarf You're too late with that joke, Mr. Bates. Doug got there two hours ago.

I'd offer to help our Witness friends out with the masturbating; it's actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it. But they always seem to be very large older ladies when they come to the door, and that's not really my cup of tea.

Maybe the Stranger could write THEM up a pamphlet covering the high points, so to speak?

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691629 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691629 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 20:51:11 -0800 Comment by SDA in SEA Oh, Fnarf, a Stranger masturbation instruction pamphlet for repressed JWs (and mormons and assorted others) is a GREAT idea! LOL!

Note to closet cases: You may as well just come out. We are all going to hell anyway. You were condemned to hell when you started jerking off in 7th grade.

]]> SDA in SEA http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691646 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691646 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:44:31 -0800 Comment by k. This brings back memories of how it used to be - I grew up a JW. The one thing I learned was how to repress my libedo into a tight little nut. And not salute the flag.


]]> k. http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691665 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691665 Life Tue, 10 Apr 2007 23:12:36 -0800 Comment by Joe "How I wish I could have summed the courage..."

Summed? They were adding it up? Did the calculation produce anything meaningful? (Since the article topic is against masturbation, I suppose they were saving it up multiply, or something)

I think the term they want there is "summoned the courage."


And yeah, Prince apparently doesn't even sing "Darling Nikki" anymore, let alone re-enact it.

]]> Joe http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691693 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691693 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:41:31 -0800 Comment by Princess Sparkle Pony Monty Python's second book had a hilarious fake PSA titled "Masturbation: the Difficult One" which featured the copy Some find it difficult to talk about; others find it difficult to do.

]]> Princess Sparkle Pony http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691731 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691731 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:58:46 -0800 Comment by infrequent once i was standing at a bus stop during a downpour. this stop did not have a cover. a car pulls up, and a guy jumps out, runs over to me and does his good JWchristian deed of the day -- he handed me an Awake.

and, so i take is SDA doesn't stand for Seventh Day Adventist???

]]> infrequent http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691774 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691774 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:44:15 -0800 Comment by alithea in 1993, my father was in a car wreck, and as he wasnt practicing at the time, he received 11 units of blood. through the transfusion, he was infected with hepitias c. since then, his health has been on a slow, painful dissent and over time, we've all come to accept he won't last very long.

however, my grandmother, his mother, refuses to offer even the slightest bit of empathy, as 'this is his punishment for going against jehovah's word', and takes it upon herself to remind my father daily that even though he is dying, its his punishment, so quit whining.

]]> alithea http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691880 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691880 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:57:41 -0800 Comment by E I knew a JW in high school who claimed that God cured him of masturbation via testicular cancer. Isn't faith wonderful?

]]> E http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691912 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691912 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:29:14 -0800 Comment by Joe Alithea: I'm sorry for your father. His mother is just proof that religion doesn't make you a better person, but does make it easier to justify being a shitty one.

]]> Joe http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691923 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691923 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:51:20 -0800 Comment by opticsdoug What's wrong with Premarital Sex?
Appeared in Awake! July 22, 2004

Here's their archives.

Last year, I ran into an issue on Energy. They dismiss nuclear power, laud hydrogen, and confuse methane's role as a greenhouse gas with the emissions of burning methane (CH4 + 2*O2 -> CO2 + 2*H2O, right?). I don't get their agenda.

"You too can learn more about the Source of all energy and the solution to earth’s energy problems if you take time to study the Bible."

Yeah.

]]> opticsdoug http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691982 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c691982 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 14:29:16 -0800 Comment by infrequent this is the picture they are using to dissuade kids from getting it on? i prefer the STD bill much better.

]]> infrequent http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c692037 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/04/excepts_from_awake_a_magazine_someone_le#c692037 Life Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:29:18 -0800