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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Alert Arizona’s Male Escorts!

posted by on April 19 at 9:36 AM


Everybody’s favorite disgraced pastor, Rev. Ted “Meth and Man Ass” Haggard, is moving his wife, kids, and 100% heterosexual self from Colorado Springs to Phoenix, Arizona. “Have a nice heterosexuality!” says Newspeak, Colorado Spring’s only newspaper, and to help Ted do just that Newspeak thoughtfully provided this link.

And because it’s still funny… click here to hear “Meth and Man Ass on a Sunday Morning.”

RSS icon Comments


It's Colorado Springs' as a possessive.

Posted by Grammer Po-po | April 19, 2007 10:49 AM

Maybe he's moving there because they turned down the amendment banning gay marriage.

Posted by Mike of Renton | April 19, 2007 11:05 AM

@2 - that explains it.

Posted by Will in Seattle | April 19, 2007 12:14 PM

I thought he was moving to Missouri. Mike in MO will be so disappointed.

Though to be fair, it is probably far easier to find a male hooker in Arizona than in Missouri. And Vegas is less than 300 miles away from Phoenix.

Posted by SDA in SEA | April 19, 2007 12:39 PM

Oh that should help greatly. He'll have a hell of time finding tempting gay men in a city as large and diverse as Phoenix. His poor wife, how long do yall think it will take before he cracks? You just know we'll hear about it soon.

Posted by Jersey | April 19, 2007 1:17 PM

it is a shame how some churches teach their people how to deal with sexual desires. it only encourages ted-like worse behavior. this teaches that not only is it "bad" to have sexual thoughts, but if you do, you'll have to leave town because of them.

Posted by infrequent | April 19, 2007 1:57 PM

Gawd, he really needs to work on those upper arms.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | April 19, 2007 3:07 PM

I don't know where to start. The song was OK, but not as good as "God Will Fuck You Up". Ted is just asking for trouble in the metropolis of Phoenix. There are too many men who would really like to be with Ted (in the biblical sense ,of course) in the area for him to escape his temptations. He needs to just admit to himself that he is gay, divorce his wife (let her get on with her life) and get real with his life. Go gay, Ted! Be honest with yourself and get on God's good side. He already knows you are gay, after all. He made you gay. God is the Man! Praise The Lord!!! Amen.

Posted by lawrence clark | April 19, 2007 11:48 PM

Oh yeah, Ted, cut out the meth. It is not good for you. And while I'm at it, use a condom. OK? Have a happy life. Goodnight.

Posted by lawrence clark | April 20, 2007 12:04 AM

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