Arts Why I Have No Use For Richard Ford
posted by March 22 at 12:55 PMon
Over at The Morning News, Maud Newton pits Richard Ford’s latest novel, The Lay of the Land against Kate Atkinson’s newest, One Good Turn. Granted, Turn is a totally boring and unnecessary sequel to the very good Case Histories, but it has to be better than anything by Richard Ford, whose career is one of the great mysteries of American literature. Maud explains her distaste for Ford’s main character, Frank Bascombe and Ford’s writing in general (emphasis mine):
He sells houses, lusts after his daughter’s girlfriend (who is “teeth-gnashingly beautiful,” unlike “your standard lesbian”), fantasizes about punching people, repeatedly congratulates himself for his good sense in voting for Gore rather than “idiot Bush,” and drives an SUV. Boy, does he ever drive that Chevy Suburban: up and down the turnpike, through every ethnic neighborhood in the vicinity, surveying the passersby as he goes. At one intersection stands a “shiny-legged Latina” whose “stiff little butt” faces oncoming traffic. A large man who steps out of a Cadillac is probably Italian, although his “spruced-up appearance” suggests he could be Greek, which “wouldn’t be better.” Here we have some “Chinamen.” There we have the academy where “even the Arab and Sri Lankan kids” are rich. And in the Northeast, in 1999, we have a multitude of “Negroes.”
It’s a very brief very exasperated study of the most overrated author of the twentieth century.
Or, if novels aren’t your thing, here is a link to a (possibly plagarized) list of the most unintentionally funny comic book panels of all time, featuring the Joker planning to terrorize Gotham city with his boners, Archie saving Betty by giving three burly men handjobs, and Lois Lane’s torrid evening with an anal-sex loving robot.