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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Mega Millions Lottery: The Hairy, Bemoled Woman’s Last Best Hope

posted by on March 28 at 11:45 AM

I’ve been seeing these billboards around town for months, and in my own quiet way, I fucking hate them.



That is all.

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I hate them too. The one outside my house says "Prove your wife's boyfriend wrong." But why am I happy? Because it replaced a Bodies Exibition billboard.

Posted by D. | March 28, 2007 11:48 AM

Whaaa??? So money can help me get rid of all I hate about myself?? I'm buying 30 tickets right NOW!
It's cheaper than therapy!

Posted by | March 28, 2007 11:50 AM

Who the hell thought these were a good idea? "Play the Mega Millions---if you have a huge mole." Bizarre.

Posted by Chris | March 28, 2007 11:51 AM

from now on my alias will be Bill Bored

Posted by keenan | March 28, 2007 11:51 AM

David, I am your sister in hatred.

Posted by Misty Brown | March 28, 2007 11:52 AM

We need an intrepid graffiti artist to climb up there, cross out "Yacht!", and write "Penis!"

Posted by him | March 28, 2007 12:01 PM

It's okay to show open contempt for the poor and/or less-than-wealthy if you offer them a tiny sliver of false hope that they might one day become super mega rich. It's the American Way!

Posted by flamingbanjo | March 28, 2007 12:12 PM

I love how the billboards play off a cartoon version of extreme wealth -- "chateau", "yacht", "penthouse" that has very little to do with how someone with a measly Megamillions will be (or should be) living. The prize sounds a lot bigger than it actually is. More accurate words would be "new car", "house", "trashy-looking fur coat", "mole-removal scar", "meth overdose coma".

Posted by Fnarf | March 28, 2007 12:14 PM

I hate these because they say I'm supposed to buy lottery tickets to win the love of assholes who whisper about how fat and bald I am.

Posted by Jason | March 28, 2007 12:20 PM

Cross out "a mole" and change it to "skin cancer."

Posted by elswinger | March 28, 2007 12:27 PM

What I find interesting is what they consider OK to include as a condition you'd want to change.

OK to despise:
- back hair
- moles
- baldness
- unibrows

Presumably not OK to mention:
- being fat
- being black/white/asian/etc

If you think about the direction it's going, you see just how offensive this ad campaign is.

Posted by Kate | March 28, 2007 12:39 PM

How come no strikethrough on Slog? This thread needs it.

Posted by Jason | March 28, 2007 12:42 PM

Dave: Thank you for hating these billboards as much as many others do, and for airing this hatred publicly.

The billboards you pictured certainly make me wish that the McMansions/McCondos of the loathsome ad execs who created them could be miraculously showered with monkey feces by a just and vengeful deity, but the lottery billboard I'm most disturbed by, for its various heartbreaking economic implications, is the one that reads, "Prove your 21-year-old boss wrong." The two of those that I've seen are located conveniently on the Jose P. Rizal and West Seattle bridges, so that one can assuage one's existential despair upon seeing them by simply pitching oneself over the railing and onto the cement below.

Posted by Anne | March 28, 2007 12:52 PM

I can't decide which billboards are worse, these or McDonald's "Open your snack hole." It's such a close call.

Posted by L | March 28, 2007 1:41 PM

Face it: Ugly women are Mega Millions' biggest customer. Why fault the company for marketing to its niche demo?

Posted by frederick r | March 28, 2007 2:04 PM

Snack hole is much worse. There's a picture. Of what appears to be feces wrapped in a tortilla. And a person about to insert it into the opposite end of his happy happy digestive system.

That reminds me, I haven't had lunch yet.

Posted by Fnarf | March 28, 2007 2:11 PM

@L: Does McDonald's really have a "Open your snack hole." billboard?!? bwa ha ha ha haha ha!!

Posted by him | March 28, 2007 2:14 PM

Yeah, it doesn't make much sense. There's not a lot of evidence that money makes otherwise ugly women any more attractive to straight men; but there's ample evidence that money makes otherwise ugly men attractive to (at least some) women.

Of course, there aren't enough rich women around to have an adequate sample for study. Perhaps the lottery is hoping to change that.

Posted by Joe | March 28, 2007 2:37 PM

If they any marketing sense, the second one would say "Look at her huge new tits!"

It's a fine line between clever and stupid.

Posted by Sean | March 28, 2007 3:53 PM

These billboards are the polar opposite of Lotto 6/49's boards in Canada that tell you to "Always be nice to someone who plays 6/49" with a series of weird selfless acts (ie: "I'd love to change your baby's diaper!")

Canada: reasonably nice since 1867.

Posted by Thomas | March 28, 2007 3:54 PM

Canada: reasonably nice since 1867.

Unless you were First Nations / Métis / Inuit child or a Japanese Canadian.

Posted by Joe | March 28, 2007 7:10 PM

Just to provide full information, there are plenty of male versions of these billboards as well.

I agree that there are clearly lengths to which the campaign doesn't go regarding fatness/race/etc., but that should hardly come as any surprise. Would you prefer it if they DID go there?

Full disclosure: It's frickin' hard to write interesting ad copy, as I should know. I found these fairly amusing as such things go.

Posted by lauren | March 29, 2007 9:32 AM

If you want a bigger penis visit

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Posted by bigger penis | April 6, 2007 1:50 AM

You people are fucking pathetic. How is an outdoor board getting so much attention? More importantly—who gives a shit?

It's funny. It's crass. End of story.

Move on, already.

Posted by GetALIfe | April 7, 2007 12:09 AM

prevention cancer ovarian >metastatic ovarian cancer

Posted by cancer ovarian hysterectomy | April 9, 2007 3:32 AM

and up jumped the swagman and sprang into the billabong while watching how his penis patches got wet at

Posted by penis patches | April 24, 2007 3:08 PM

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