Homo Sexual Immorality
posted by March 14 at 8:45 AMon
Yesterday General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, called homosexuals immoral. I spent the evening making cupcakes with my kid. It’s almost too wholesome, huh? My son turns nine today and he gets to bring in a treat in for his class on his birthday. So we stayed up late making chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and chocolate sprinkles. I should have been down at one of the no-new-viaduct parties—I love running into Greg Nickels at events like that, just so I can remind him that I voted for Al Runte—but I’ve been away a lot recently and I really needed to be home. Baking.
I suppose that I’m letting down my end of the cultural compact. I should have been off doing something immoral or illegal, something that would justify the terror my kind strikes in the hearts of men like Pace. I mean, if guys with medals all over their chests—brave guys, military men—are gonna be scared of homos, well, we ought to give them something to be scared of, right?
If I was in the military I might be scared of the guy next to me with a gun. “I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that [the military] should not condone immoral acts,” said Pace. “I do not believe the United States is well served by a policy that says it is OK to be immoral in any way.” But the military, famously, has been passing out “moral waivers” like candy bars in an effort to meet recruitment quotas. Legal and private sexual contact between consenting adults? Immoral. A rap sheet with a bunch of felonies on it? Not a problem.