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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Sexual Immorality

posted by on March 14 at 8:45 AM

Yesterday General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, called homosexuals immoral. I spent the evening making cupcakes with my kid. It’s almost too wholesome, huh? My son turns nine today and he gets to bring in a treat in for his class on his birthday. So we stayed up late making chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and chocolate sprinkles. I should have been down at one of the no-new-viaduct parties—I love running into Greg Nickels at events like that, just so I can remind him that I voted for Al Runte—but I’ve been away a lot recently and I really needed to be home. Baking.

I suppose that I’m letting down my end of the cultural compact. I should have been off doing something immoral or illegal, something that would justify the terror my kind strikes in the hearts of men like Pace. I mean, if guys with medals all over their chests—brave guys, military men—are gonna be scared of homos, well, we ought to give them something to be scared of, right?

If I was in the military I might be scared of the guy next to me with a gun. “I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that [the military] should not condone immoral acts,” said Pace. “I do not believe the United States is well served by a policy that says it is OK to be immoral in any way.” But the military, famously, has been passing out “moral waivers” like candy bars in an effort to meet recruitment quotas. Legal and private sexual contact between consenting adults? Immoral. A rap sheet with a bunch of felonies on it? Not a problem.

RSS icon Comments


I think "Peter Pace" is a nice gay porn name.

Posted by DOUG. | March 14, 2007 9:30 AM

I know what you mean Dan. I've sort of been slipping on the whole imorality thing as well. Last night I sat up with our elderly dachshund who was having a bit of a stomach upset. I also waxed the kitchen floor.

But I did have a few glasses of wine, so that should count for something.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | March 14, 2007 9:50 AM

I am sure that the General is really really going to start cracking down on all those straight guys messing around with other guys' wives. Yep, I am sure the Pentagon is going to get right on that......

Posted by Andrew | March 14, 2007 9:51 AM

Baking cupcakes with your nine-year-old son. Dan, you're the straightest gay man on the planet.

Posted by Junkie | March 14, 2007 9:55 AM

Dan, surely you're not questioning the morality of arming violent convicted criminals to serve in the armed forces? Next you'll be questioning the morality of shooting people just because a guy with more shiny medals on his fancy uniform ordered you to. And that's the basis of our whole social compact!

Why do you hate America?

Posted by flamingbanjo | March 14, 2007 9:58 AM

Being gay is only immoral if you derive your morality from some irrational, arbitrary, fictional book like the Bible, Koran, or Torah.

Posted by Tiffany | March 14, 2007 9:58 AM

I prefer rainbow sprinkles....

Posted by Cameron | March 14, 2007 10:01 AM

The general does realize he's in the military, right? I don't think he has much of a moral soapbox to preach from, when contemporary military war-speak refers to civilian deaths as collateral damage. And if he's basing his gay==immoral opinion on biblical belief, he's also forgetting "thou shalt not kill".

Posted by seattle98104 | March 14, 2007 10:01 AM

Does anyone even in the military pay attention to what this guy says? Gay discharges have been sharply down the past year now that they realize they need the gays very badly -- at least until troops withdraw from Iraq.

It looks like the military sure can "condone immoral behavior" as long as the ends justify the means... ie, if it helps them kill brown people.

Posted by jamier | March 14, 2007 10:32 AM

Every night I go to bed thinking I can't get any more pissed off at our current state of government and every morning I wake up even more pissed off.

Posted by monkey | March 14, 2007 10:53 AM

Let's not forget all the waivers for people with mental health problems, like that guy who raped a 14 year old girl and then killed her and her entire family. Better to have someone with a diagnosed mental illness than someone who sucks the occasional cock in between sessions of translating vital intelligence.

Posted by Gitai | March 14, 2007 10:56 AM

You know, it's funny. I recently read a book by the chief counsel for the prosecution at the Nuremberg trials where he talks about the morality of war in fairly precise terms. He said that, legally, killing in war is always murder, but that it's excused by circumstance. It's not moral-- it's simply excusable.

So basically, according to the guy in charge of the Nuremberg trials, soldiering itself is a fundamentally immoral act that is merely excusable due to circumstances.

It's interesting how much more nuanced the thinking of past generations seems when compared to the rhetoric and the ideals of the men and women who took us into Iraq.

Posted by John Lilburne | March 14, 2007 11:09 AM

chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and chocolate sprinkles.

Sprinkles on cupcakes? You feckless heathen - sprinkles are just wrong, wrong, dirty and wrong.

I am sure that the General is really really going to start cracking down on all those straight guys messing around with other guys' wives. Yep, I am sure the Pentagon is going to get right on that

They do that on a regular basis, or they used to.

Posted by Brian | March 14, 2007 11:52 AM

Terrance over at had a day with his son similar to your evening, with some similar observations.

Go ready his blog, people - he's really good.

Posted by Tlazolteotl | March 14, 2007 12:52 PM

Happy Birthday wishes for the whole fam.

Posted by amazonmidwife | March 14, 2007 5:46 PM

And make sure you get your ribbon

Posted by Joe | March 14, 2007 6:01 PM

You mean it`s wrong to fuck these alter boys?

Posted by pyrofly70 | March 14, 2007 6:27 PM

If it's help with nuance we are looking for, I say call Mary Cheney.

Posted by Don | March 15, 2007 9:44 AM

If it's help with the nuanced meaning of immorality we are looking for, I say call Mary Cheney.

Posted by Don | March 15, 2007 9:45 AM

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