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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Praise the Lord and Pass the Deluxe Adjustable Nipple Clamps

posted by on March 28 at 12:40 PM

Does Jesus Christ approve of BDSM? Yes, says Sir Gardener at ChristiansAndBDSM.com, but only when the man—the straight married man—is the top.

Does [Christian BDSM] differ from “secular” BDSM?

It does differ from secular BDSM in that the relationship is (or should be) confined to a husband and wife in male dominant/female submissive roles. Also, the Bible is the ultimate authority… if something is “accepted” in BDSM circles but prohibited by the Bible, then it is prohibited in a Christian BDSM relationship.

Are BDSM relationships different in Christian BDSM? If so, how do they differ?

They are different since there is a specific spiritual component to their relationship. The Master and submissive/slave worship, pray and grow together as Christians. The Master is head of the wife. She submits to Him. Christ is the head of the church. Master and submissive are both in submission to Christ. A Christian submissive’s first responsibility is to God and His commandments. Unlike her secular sister, a Christian submissive should not participate in something against God’s teaching, even if ordered by her Dominant/Master.

Can we do anything we want in Christian BDSM?

CAN we? Of course! SHOULD we? Of course NOT!

If not, what are the prohibitions for Christian BDSMers?

Anything prohibited by the Bible, plus anything not agreed upon by the couple.

Hm… the bible says you can kill your kids if they smart talk you. So if your submissive wife is down with murdering her children… uh… Christian BDSMers can kill their kids. Femdoms, male subs, and kinky fags with uppity children, however, just have to put up with their brats giving ‘em lip.

There’s no porn—heaven forbid!—at ChristiansandBDSM.com. But anyone that’s ever asked himself “WWJD with these tit clamps?” can find Godly direction and spiritual uplift clicking here.

RSS icon Comments

1

But... isn't that just a standard Christian husb/wife relationship anyway? They make it sound like it's something new.

Posted by monkey | March 28, 2007 12:52 PM
2

WWJD with those nipple clamps? Maybe use them to rip those fucking spikes out of his hands and get the fuck off of that damn cross!

Now on to more important matters: Why no podcast this week, Dan?

Posted by Daver from Chicago | March 28, 2007 12:54 PM
3

It's coming. We had an accident...

Posted by Dan Savage | March 28, 2007 1:02 PM
4

That's the most disturbing thing I've read all day.
But the day's still young.

Posted by Shea | March 28, 2007 1:12 PM
5

And as for all of you out there who were thinking of registering ChristiansAndInfantilism.com - well, tough shit. I'm beating you to it.

Posted by tsm | March 28, 2007 1:17 PM
6

This leaves me almost speechless.

It takes some seriously whacked rationalization to tie all that in a pretty X-tian bow. Be as kinky as you want, so long as you're straight and the woman is subservient? Oookaaay...

Posted by SDA in SEA | March 28, 2007 1:28 PM
7

judeo-xtian religion is the ultimate BDSM. Jesus was a BDSM "gift" from God to the world, intended for human sacrifice.

and let's not forget, the word Islam means "submit," Muslim="submissives" (roughly translated)

Posted by bing | March 28, 2007 1:37 PM
8

I get to "Master and submissive are both in submission to Christ," and think THREEWAY.

Then I remember why I don't go to church anymore.

Posted by Rebecca | March 28, 2007 1:43 PM
9

Savage, despite your sex advice column and your many tales you mention of your past, you never struck me as a "kinky fag with (presumably) uppity children", more like "Will try anything once but am quite happy with the basics fag with (presumably) uppity children".

Posted by Brandon H | March 28, 2007 1:45 PM
10

Savage, despite your sex advice column and your many tales you mention of your past, you never struck me as a "kinky fag with (presumably) uppity children", more like "Will try anything once but am quite happy with the basics fag with (presumably) uppity children". Of course, my kinkometer could be on the fritz.

Posted by Brandon H | March 28, 2007 1:46 PM
11

Is this any surprise? I mean, your average crucifix could totally serve as wank material for any BDSMer and gay BDSMers in particular.

Posted by Gitai | March 28, 2007 1:49 PM
12

I'm surprised there has to be any agreement between husband and wife in Christian BDSM. Isn't the wife supposed to obey the husband in all things?

Posted by keshmeshi | March 28, 2007 2:22 PM
13

Just another reason I despise religion. (Faith I am OK with).

Posted by elswinger | March 28, 2007 2:24 PM
14

But wait Jesus says Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, so if you tie up your wife, then YOU must want her to tie you up...but God says...but..women and men...but..illogical.....

Posted by Carpenter | March 28, 2007 3:38 PM
15

But wait Jesus says Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, so if you tie up your wife, then YOU must want her to tie you up...but God says...but..women and men...but..illogical.....

Posted by Carpenter | March 28, 2007 3:38 PM
16

Where in the hell do you find this shit? And will you pay me to browse for and forward to you crazy-ass shit like this?

:)

Posted by L | March 28, 2007 4:16 PM
17

Ohmygod. I am so confused.

Posted by Vivian | March 28, 2007 9:04 PM
18

Thanks for pointing this site out. Check out an additional post about this at www. the blog blog . net
Without the spaces of course.

Posted by WiseBlood | March 29, 2007 2:26 PM
19

Wow, Dan. I despise religion as much as the next (sane) person, but I thought you would have some appreciation for a kink-positive point of view. It's a step up from only-in-the-missionary-position.

Posted by Jenn | March 29, 2007 4:59 PM
20

You all have GOT to check out http://www.themarriagebed.com

Hilarious!!!

Posted by Papayas | March 29, 2007 11:12 PM
21

This is one of many reasons why I am now a recovering born-again, the intolerance of anything but a straight male Top-female submissive relationship as fas as BDSM goes. Oh wait, I am a straight male..hmmm.

I always get funny looks when a Born Again tells me "Jesus died for your sins" and I say "Really? What a pal!" :)

Posted by Hawkeeg | April 17, 2007 5:06 PM

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