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Friday, March 30, 2007

BREAKING: Pope Catholic

posted by on March 30 at 9:32 AM

The Pope wants us all to know that the Church’s opposition to gay marriage is “non-negotiable.” He’s ordered all Catholic politicians everywhere to oppose gay marriage—and civil unions. Even a proposed law in Italy that would allow same-sex partners access to each other in the hospital is unacceptable to the ol’ Nazi.

Gee, the Pope’s non-negotiable on gay marriage? That’s so out of character. I mean, seeing as how flexible the Church is on choice, birth control, condoms, female priests, and just about every other issue that touches on human sexuality. It’s really just on the issue of gay marriage that the ol’ Nazi is digging in the heels of his red leather Prada pumps.

Meanwhile in England… the Pope is arguing that laws aimed at protecting gays and lesbians from discrimination actually discriminate against the Church. Passing laws that protect gays and lesbians is “legislating for intolerance.” Because it’s intolerant to be intolerant of the Pope’s intolerance. Because he was intolerant first, so he had dibs.

If it’s any comfort to the Pope, gay Catholics are oppressed regardless. If the laws aren’t passed, we’re discriminated against for being gay. If they are passed, we’re discriminated against for being Catholics, cruelly deprived of our fundamental right to oppress ourselves.

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It makes me so sad that people still have give this old coot the time of day. Or any religious leader for that matter...

Posted by Mike in MO | March 30, 2007 9:51 AM

Ditto: Exactly what Mike said

Posted by monkey | March 30, 2007 9:57 AM

I did not think Benny Boy could be any worse than J2P2, but it seems he is worse. The Catholic Church still has way too much power, but that is in decline. As to who listens to him I think most thinking people take the pope with a grain of salt. He must be getting concerned about his flock raising questions. Last week he reminded everybody that hell was a "real place".

Posted by Patrick | March 30, 2007 10:08 AM

As a gay Catholic who always understood the Church's policies but never felt particularly unwelcome in the Church, I can tell you that JP2 was much better. But then again, as ECB might say, the no abortion and no birth control issues didn't really affect me too much, so I didn't notice, now did I?
My only solace with this recent antigay-crazy world we live in is that as more and more churches break off hundreds of years of unity to join some psycho in Africa that wants to make it a crime for gays to talk on a street corner, more and more church attendees will say "WTF" and let the gay thing go. At some point, people will have had enough. I hope.

Posted by torrentprime | March 30, 2007 10:14 AM

The Church's position on anything is non-negotiable. Just ask the jews in spain. It's easy to shrug and say "who cares" because in the developed world nobody really does. But two-thirds of Catholics are below the equator, and most of them aren't in developed countries. They do listen, for the most part, and they largely agree (which is part of the reason there's so goddamn many of them). And anybody who thought Eggs would be less of a hard-ass than JP2 wasn't paying attention to the German's previous job.

Posted by Joe | March 30, 2007 11:48 AM

Speaking of fun Catholic things, Dan, if you haven't already you should definitely check out this post on Ivy Gate:

Young Christian Soldiers

The comments it gets should do his Popeness proud. There's also a follow-up:

A Catholic Retort

Enjoy! (Love, Risley)

Posted by Risley | March 30, 2007 3:38 PM

I loved,loved your post, Risley. The anal beads took me by surprise. Very funny. Screw the Pope.

Posted by lawrence clark | March 31, 2007 3:16 AM

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