Life Bitter Herbs
posted by March 30 at 10:20 AMon
Iíve been a bad Jew. My family was killed in the Holocaust, less my grandmother and her sister. Then my father, after being born and stuff, married a Catholic woman who carried her faith through the maternal line. So Iím only Jewish by genealogy. I was baptized and took Communion; I didnít get circumcised or have Bar Mitzvah. I never once brought home a nice Jewish girl.
However, in a desperate attempt to connect with my ancestry, I attended my first Seder last year. Adding insult to long-standing injury, I even fucked that up Ė I got stoned before the feast.
Getting high during Passover didnít seem like an offense at the time. But as Brendan slogged yesterday, my pot-activist brothers in Israel made the dour announcement that pot is on the “no” list for Passover. Harsh. If my fellow rope-smokiní rabble rousers can even consider the inappropriate times to toke Ė with shells exploding around every corner Ė then skipping the dummy pipe for however long Passover is (I told you Iím a bad Jew), is some serious shit.
Forgive me, Y*****; I knew not what I did.
As for this year, unspoken one, I promise to stay in the clear. I will lay off that bitter herb indefinitely, and during the Seder feast Iíll be in heaven, or some place. Iíve always been more a friend of the vine than the stalk anyway. And the Seder is packed with lectures about morals, punctuated by slugging glasses of wine. Thatís my kind of party, err, ceremony.