Brad Steinbacher: “Hey Erica, have you looked at (NSFW) Fleshbot today?”

Me: “No, why?”

Brad: “Vagina enhancement!”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I was going to write about it, but Twisty’s already written the definitive post over at I Blame the Patriarchy**!”

Brad: “Cool.”

Also, this conversation with my editor: “No, YOU post the photos of Daniel Radcliffe’s butt!” “No, YOU!” “YOU!”

**Also, in this instance, NSFW, thanks to photos culled from the oh-so-scientific Vagina Institute. An excerpt:

There are quizzes (”how well does my vagina measure up?” and “should women be allowed to go topless?”); an image of a chiding woman brandishing a tape measure (!?!?); assorted vagina “facts” (”women with large vaginal cavities will tend to produce more odor […] when vaginal funk arises.”); lists of insecurites women might want to consider adopting (such as “worry” over “wrinkles and ‘overly-used’ appearance”), places to submit pictures of your “urine stream” and stories of your “most embarrassing vaginal moment”. One section is astonishingly subtitled “Very seldom do we hear men’s opinion about their preference towards female genitals due to censorship of taboo’s, so what do they really want when it comes to vaginas?”

Wait. Let me guess. They want ugly assymetrical flat-lipped overly-used drooping funk.

Here is one supposed message from a supposed subscriber: “She can’t be all bitchin’ at me just ’cause she’s got a garbage bag for a vagina. I mean, I’m only one soup-can thick. She’s got to help me out a little too.”