Comments on What You Must Do

Charles, I hope you're not referring to me. Because I said I *liked* it. The two best comments in the last month: "You know she was on Baywatch," spoken to both me and my partner on the street, and "The sun has risen!" during a walk to work. That last is my favorite.

And you should add that your explanation to me when we last talked about it was that I look fit to work on a plantation.

I have experienced this as well, though I am thin... I think black men are just more comfortable flirting then white men are. They seem to enjoy themselves, not taking it too seriously, just having a good time. Whereas most white guys, I'm sorry to say, are afraid. Until they've had a few drinks that is.

jen, can we get a plantation-hand pic of you? i'm not able to imagine it.

"The sun has rise."

Dayum!

"The sun has risen."

Dayum!

Check out the chapter on sex in the book Black and White Styles in Conflict by Thomas Kochman. Then all will be clear.

"Damn girl, you gotta boyfriend?"
"I sure do"
"Is he black?"
me, confused, smiling,.. "What?"
"Only a brother could handle that!"

Charles, I was not complaining. I was only saying, in reference to my new hairdo, that it's interesting that the black men in my neighborhood who usually have something to say about me when I pass them on the sidewalk are now mum.

HAHA! This is my favorite slog post ever!

To: Jen Graves, Special K, just the other day, and Amy Kate

Question: Is there a difference between your *response* to the black male come-on vs. the white male come-on? (Assuming here that the white male is not "afraid" to make a come-on).

Certainly all white males are not "afraid' as "special k" comments. The psycho-sociology here is clear: Special K and her sisters are more likely to run from the white male come-on because their "good girl" conditioning is triggered by a white male - the father figure; while they are attracted to the black male come-on (and other "bad boys") because it resonates with their repressed "good girl" sensuality.

I'm sure that black males know that white males are their equals as sexual-sensual beings - why not? But they also know that they have an advantage with the "good girls" they meet. Who can blame them? It's rather nice to feel that glow of sexual affirmation from a woman.

My message to the women above and their sisters is this: accept your own sensuality so your lover's skin color is not such an issue.
Tell the men you find attractive, "I choose you."

PS It sounds like The Stranger could use some diversity training...

Orson wrote:
"The psycho-sociology here is clear: Special K and her sisters are more likely to run from the white male come-on because their "good girl" conditioning is triggered by a white male - the father figure; while they are attracted to the black male come-on (and other "bad boys") because it resonates with their repressed "good girl" sensuality."

This is HILARIOUS. Hey, Orson: Where did you get your Ph.D. in Psycho-Sexuality, Bong-Loader U.?

You've made my Friday. Seriously.

This post is bullshit. If folks did a little studying on the issue (which I have in the form of legal research paper) you would know that street harassment is done by men of all races equally.

Also, I actually tried Charles' experiment. I lost weight, 20 lbs, when I lived in NYC thinking that the street harassment would stop. It didn't. And the racial breakdown stayed the same.

Who wants to be skinny (and then be hit on by white guys all the time)? Not me. 'Fuckin' Sick of...': check out http://www.hollabackpnw.blogspot.com for solidarity. My best defense is noise isolating ear buds (they work like earplugs). And this new, wild hair... it's confusing them into speechlessness.

This thread is offensive on so many levels.

This post is true on so many levels!

I will say this about brothers, you always know if they are interested in you or not! I love that.

Hey Doug, lighten up and go read the Uptight Seattleite.

I've got a few extra pounds and I love to say it- the black men looooooove me. It's cool though, if you're not into it just respond with some humor and they'll laugh off the decline. Right, Charles? I recall a man asking me once, "C'mon baby, dont you want a big black rug to walk all over?" I said, "Naw, I've already got a cat and he's black too!"

Black men arent the problem, it's the hispanic lovers that drive me crazy. They just stare. I'd rather they would just SAY something. Fucking ANYthing. Staring is creepy, any sane gay boy will tell you that. I'd like to weigh in how to deal with the hispanic construction workers in the trucks before spring starts.... how does a lady blow them off without seeming racist or creeped out?

#12: "Where did you get your Ph.D. in Psycho-Sexuality, Bong-Loader U.?"
LOL

I have to say I get hit on more or less equally by all races, save asian guys..figure that out. Getting hit on respectfully? I can count the times that's happened on one hand. Ahem: see below.

http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2006/06/fuck-fear.html

Same, Vic. For some reason, (straight, at least) Asian guys don't speak up.

I don't know if that's true in general, but it's certainly true for me. I got hit on by black guys frequently when I was heavier (only creep-tastic ones, though). Now, hardly ever.

I always figured it was because they figured a fat chick would have lower self esteem.