Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« "Perhaps you remember that we ... | Liberal Rhetoric on Iraq Conti... »

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Re: What Shall We Do With the Woodland Park Bunnies?

posted by on February 15 at 11:24 AM

Another morning, another missive from (aka “Peter Cotton”) about the cruel, nature-hating bastards in the Seattle Parks Department who are removing the rabbits from Woodland Park:

[In Feb 2006] we complained effectively on the Parks Dept’s failure to provide any plan for finding or locating babies left abandoned in park burrows…

(Meaning, I suppose, to tear up the warrens where the rabbits live?)

As a direct result of our complaints then and our threat to file “cruelty to animals” legal charges, the Parks Dept cancelled their Woodland Park rabbit removal project in March 2006.

Keep in mind: These rabbits are not well cared for, nor can the park support them. Because they’re abandoned pets fed by do-gooders in summers and abandoned in winters, they overbreed, starve, become more vulnerable to disease, and die. So by threatening the Parks, Mr. Cotton has effectively prolonged the suffering of the rabbits, etc. But this is the more pertinent question: What’s up with the Parks department letting this lunatic push them around? (I haven’t been able to reach anyone at the Department for comment yet.)

But Mr. Cotton’s letter is the picture of rationality compared to his posts on this Animal Liberation Front site:

On the Parks p.r. person: “Nazi Goebbels perky cheerleader mouthpiece.”

On the rationale for the rabbit removal program: “It is really stupefying how the Parks Dept can malign and misinterpret innocent animal behaviors. This is a sure sign of a Nazi mentality amongst these human bureaucrats.”

Then there are the ALF gurus and sympathizers with their bizarre icons:


And their capital letters:


And their anthropomorphic fantasies:

Total morons with no fucking idea on what the hell they are doing. Wish the bunnies were like this dude so they could kick some human butt.

All for trying to help the poor goddamned rabbits in Woodland Park.

The natural rights of animals are exactly the same as the natural rights of humans. Such rights inhere in all animal species and are independent of any human-made ‘legal codes’.

Which really gets to the heart of the matter: Rights are “human-made ‘legal codes.’” Rights are not like the laws of physics, that exist independent of their description—people invented rights. But it’s not about whether the Edenic fantasizing Mr. Cotton and his ALF pals is right or wrong or increases or decreases the suffering of any rabbits or people anywhere. It’s about message boards and angry emails and righteous indignation and hot air. Which is sad, really. All that psychic energy, wasted on a vapid idea.

Again: Kill ‘em. Kill ‘em all. Make a stew. Feed the hoboes.

RSS icon Comments


Can we get a debate between you and John Hodgman on the wiseness of this hobo-feeding scheme of yours? Perhaps on the next ATTAP?

And yeah, these people are morons. I am vegan and I love animals and these people are morons.

Posted by Levislade | February 15, 2007 11:38 AM

the bunnies can stay IF they promise to lay cadbury eggs.

Posted by frederick r | February 15, 2007 11:58 AM

Fred R., maybe those bathroom trolls won't engage in that behavior if they don't have the ever-humpin' bunnies around as role models any more?

Posted by Haggard hag | February 15, 2007 12:04 PM

Kill the hobos and feed them to the rabbits.

Posted by elswinger | February 15, 2007 12:21 PM

I recommend people visit the ALF site to get the full story on the rabbit removal, not just Brendan's rant. The issue is the death of baby rabbits because their mothers are being removed from the warrens at night - not whether the rabbits have a right to be in the park. As you point out, Brendan, the rabbits are abandoned in the park by humans, and whether you like it or not, they don't deserve to die for it.

Posted by CrazyCatGuy | February 15, 2007 12:24 PM

Hm, the simplest solution would be to start abandoning pet foxes in the park...

Posted by Tired Of Guarding The Henhouse | February 15, 2007 12:28 PM

we have a red fox that visits the rabbits in my yard. the snow is currently littered with bloody kill scenes. i love it.

Posted by kbf | February 15, 2007 12:28 PM

As always, there’s a little bit of moron on all sides.

Mr. Kiley, your point that “rights are human-made legal codes” doesn’t actually support your argument. It’s too bad some folks will read it and think it does. Thing is, we already grant our “human” rights to other species—and not just for their status as human property or their potential use for the greater human good (even hungry hobos). To say “hey, we don’t give human rights to bunnies because they’re BUNNIES and we’re HUMANS, get it?” is a) circular logic, b) just plain redundant, or c) both. Take your pick. For further insight into flawed logic of this type, see Mr. Savage’s frequent analyses of the formidably stupid “protection of marriage” movement.

I’m just sayin’. You’re liable to do better if you stick with your “letting them die off is cruel” point. You can even beef up that section with one or two bits of data, a fact or input from an expert…if you’re feeling industrious, between all your volunteer shifts spent feeding the homeless.

I hope I’m not way off base. For a quick consistency check: Do you advocate the hunting and eating of loose or feral dogs and cats? If not, please explain.

Posted by K.T. | February 15, 2007 12:55 PM

I seem to recall that last year, someone was trying to raise money to catch the rabbits and send them to a rabbit sanctuary in central Washington somewhere. I'd be surprised if the alf and other groups couldn't get behind that, even help raise the money for it. Then again, they do appear to be very reactionary, not really a group of thinkers and planners.

Posted by steve | February 15, 2007 12:56 PM

kew da wabbit, kew da wabbit, kew da wabbit, kew da wabbit

Posted by e. fudd | February 15, 2007 1:14 PM

Brendan, while I agree with you in spirit, when you advocate using them to 'feed the hoboes':

This was proposed a few years back in connection with the Canada Geese problem at Magnuson Park and elsewhere. Since the geese were going to be 'euthanized' anyway it was suggested that the carcasses be donated to local food banks. The agency involved-- Parks and Recreation?-- contended that, to meet Health Dept rules and to avoid any potential legal liability, each carcass would have to be tested. The testing was estimated at something like $75 each, if I recall. Not economically feasible.

So the geese got killed and then 'disposed' of quietly. Probably dumped in a landfill. Yeah, a big waste. But easier than risking some hobo suing you later for millions-- even if the recipient is used to eating out of dumpsters.

Posted by just another lurker | February 15, 2007 1:18 PM

My wife refuses to believe that I didn't write Mr. Kiley's posts on this topic myself, as I have often expressed exactly the same sentiments as these.

And yes, K.T., I do advocate the killing of feral dogs and cats. Feral cats in particular kill zillions of threatened songbirds. They don't belong there, period. It's unfortunate that these animals, all of them, cannot be traced back to their owners so that they too can be euthanized.

Posted by Fnarf | February 15, 2007 1:20 PM


Frankly, I'm not even convinced that humans always have rights. Rights are a series of conventions through which individuals negotiate with each other in civil society. Does a person outside civil society have rights? If I am walking across the plains in a lawless, ungoverned territory and run into another individual, do either of us have the "right" to be treated one way or another? I'm not sure. It's a good question. But I'm pretty sure the rabbits and rattlesnakes don't.

And yes, if the feral cats and dogs are a menace. Wouldn't you advocate shooting a rabid dog? Or would you rather it be quartered in a doggie asylum where it can live out its crazy days in relative peace and comfort?

Posted by Brendan Kiley | February 15, 2007 1:43 PM

For the record, feral dogs and cats in the city ARE picked up and killed. Not all of them; not enough of them; but all the ones they can catch. Irresponsible pet ownership causes millions of pet deaths a year; I've heard anything from 4 million to 12 million. These are not wild animals we're talking about here; not the cat that lives under the neighbor's car and eats junkos and finches and not the rabbits in the park that are killing the trees.

Posted by Fnarf | February 15, 2007 2:33 PM
Posted by tsm | February 15, 2007 2:35 PM

Why are you in that stupid man suit?

Posted by frank | February 15, 2007 2:42 PM

One KEY piece of information is needed here:

Rabbits don't start breeding until it starts to warm up and they have a steady food supply, which means there are NO baby rabbits until around March. The reason the project was abandoned last year was because it got started too late, and everyone knew not to trap bunnies after March. The ALF hotheads had nothing to do with the project's termination last year.

Posted by meggo | February 15, 2007 3:16 PM

My attitude isn't overly 'realistic' on these types of topics, but my response is the most obvious one: Human population reduction.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | February 15, 2007 4:39 PM

Another fun fact that the bunny supporters are unaware of, because they roll their skanky asses out of bed too late to see it, is that every morning the streets are littered with bunny corpses, hit by cars. They clean them up before the hippies get there so as not to scare the children.

The exact same thing happened out in Redmond a decade ago; I was working a contract job at Eddie Bauer, and rode my bike there very early, and the place was littered with corpses which were all mysteriously vanished by 9 AM. Every day. So much for animal welfare.

Posted by Fnarf | February 15, 2007 11:37 PM

voswxcy acvqshx msogfcjl vopqxh ltqjyxibn hgaynder yfhs

Posted by zgepkxujf ogztqp | March 2, 2007 12:25 AM

voswxcy acvqshx msogfcjl vopqxh ltqjyxibn hgaynder yfhs

Posted by zgepkxujf ogztqp | March 2, 2007 12:27 AM

voswxcy acvqshx msogfcjl vopqxh ltqjyxibn hgaynder yfhs

Posted by zgepkxujf ogztqp | March 2, 2007 12:27 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).