See pictures here

(too.much.free.time.at.work.today)

150 years ago when weddings were invented "fancy" meant a house full of flowers (few were married in a church). Now, thanks to the malign influence of De Beers, the slavers who invented the wholly bogus "tradition" of the diamond wedding ring, and a generation of professional planners, it means carefully calculated $50,000-plus party.

And little girls start learning how to spend that money when they're three. By the time they're old enough to be sold to the man of their choice, they've got it down to a T. These magazines are NECESSARY. Running a big wedding is extraordinarily difficult, not just because of the complexity and cost, but because the primary participant, the bride, is expected and encouraged to be certifiably mentally ill for up to a year beforehand. If she's not, it's taken as a sign she doesn't care enough.

Of course, the money would be much better spent on a house or a mutual fund, for their future. These princesses all have a difficult time adjusting to the post-princess era, when they discover to their horror that the only people on earth who give a shit what they think, including their husbands, are the clerks in the shops at the mall.

Next up...

Homonuptual Magazine

And that is just the beginning. I could go on all day, but I'll spare you.

Also, "These princesses all have a difficult time adjusting to the post-princess era, when they discover to their horror that the only people on earth who give a shit what they think, including their husbands, are the clerks in the shops at the mall"... hilarious!

Finally, Dan, you gotta post the "Quiz on page 26".

Sapphires: more traditional, much cheaper, and damn prettier, in my opinion.
As to the other aspects of Engagement, I had a bridal shower because my mother started having a nervous breakdown when I didn't want to bother. She was good enough to make me the dress I wanted, though: although she thought it make me look fat, but what the heck, I got my ideal wedding dress out of one bedsheet and two hours' listening to her criticisms.

The most depressing part was the pre-payment aspect: People who HAD to be married at the Olympic Hotel would sometimes come in with four or five credit cards to spread the balance over.

Add to that the bitchy brides and manipulative mothers-of-the-brides, the ruthless wedding planners, the inevitable day-of-wedding dramas, the drunk guests, the obnoxious deejays, etc, etc, etc, and you couldn't get me near the wedding-industial complex. I was happy to stick to the charity functions.

btw, The funniest thing about the weddings was the number of people who told me that they'd had a wonderful first wedding at the Olympic. A lot of them said it was the best part of the marriage :-)

Although I don't think it's automatically terrible for the couple to go ring-shopping together. There's a difference between "I'm going with you so I can tell you exactly what to buy for me and how much you'll be spending on it" and "We should make this decision as a couple because it's a major purchase that we'll be living with for a really long time." It's the same logic as buying a dishwasher together. I guess part of the rationale in the latter case is that the couple will be combining their finances anyway, if they haven't already.

sorry but they are not meeting demand, they are creating it and manufacturing consent along the way. seriously -- i've never heard any woman say anything close to "where is the magazine that will teach me how to be engaged?"

not even the invented discourse of cosmo, the wedding magazines, and their ilk ever ran any ad or sales campaigns like it.

One close friend got married about a year ago. Her parents were willing to pay for a huge wedding, or give them a down payment for the house. My friend wanted the house, her husband-to-be wanted the huge wedding. They did the huge wedding. But, unlike my bro-in-law he did not do most of the planning or paying.

Now another friend is about to get married. She AND her husband would rather have a down payment on a house. Her parents are willing & able to pay for a huge wedding. But, her parents will not pay for a down payment on the house. The parents want the wedding. They are doing a wedding and will save their own money for the house.

All that being said, if I were rich I would be so into all the glamour and glitz. The guy I'm dating recently said that he thinks that big weddings are foolish and a waste of money. The rational part of me agrees, who the hell would go broke on a wedding? But, if I were rich and I could donate an amount equal to that that I spent on the wedding (to ease my guilt) I would so do it.

My point--not all women are crazy! In fact all of my married friends/family are quite sane. And in some cases it was the men who got caught up in the wedding fantasy. My mom asked for a sewing machine instead of a wedding ring. As she thought wedding rings were stupid and sewing machines were useful.

Oh well - it was a great partnership while it lasted.

There's no way I'm going to pay lots of money for a wedding, opposite sex or otherwise, assuming I actually get married anyway..

My sister recently got married and there were 18 total people there, including the bride and groom. Short ceremony in a park, nice dinner. It was by far the coolest/best wedding I have ever been to.

I can only hope I have the sense to keep it small scale like that. But now I don't know if I should even be considering marriage... where oh where is that quiz?

After watching so many people pointlessly freak out over the years, I highly recommend eloping. Trust me, your mother will get over it. Then, she can start agitating for a child.

I helped my husband pick out the ring, but it was only $30. We spent $300 dollars for our wedding, total. I made most of the decorations and we had the ceremony at the garden of a local museum (which was a free venue!)

The most bizarre thing is that they're all single, and have never had the long-term relationship to justify even beginning to think about these things.

My one heavily-dropped-hint regarding rings to my now husband: no diamonds. Everything else aside, I don't even find them as pretty.

Not all that "romantic" according to all the movies and magazines -- but he knew I wouldn't be happy with such a big purchase unless I got to research it beforehand myself. And he was relieved that he didn't have to try to guess blindly what I would have really wanted.

It's all about knowing your partner.

Those magazines are obscene.