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Thursday, February 8, 2007

Death and the Maiden

posted by on February 8 at 14:17 PM

This…
user1452_1151397597.jpg
amounts to this:
fille_munch.jpg By Edvard Munch.

RSS icon Comments

1

The funny thing is that she didn't outlive him by very long. Would've been really funny if she had died before him.

Posted by him | February 8, 2007 2:26 PM
2

A nation, nay world, mourns...

Posted by StrangerDanger | February 8, 2007 2:31 PM
3

He's giving her the kiss of death! It just had a delayed reaction...you know, 'cause he was old and slow.

Posted by treanbean | February 8, 2007 2:37 PM
4

ha ha ha ha!!
Charles - you are my Saviour 2 days in a row!

Posted by maria | February 8, 2007 2:38 PM
5

No, ANS had bigger buttocks.

Posted by flamboyanthairdressersuperduperstarmodel!!! | February 8, 2007 2:44 PM
6

I do not find her death funny, or understand peoples glee at her family's misfortune. Yea, she was not the sharpest tool on the shed. Yes the deteration of her beauty into a fat girl was surreal. But pissing on her image the day she died?

Posted by Gary | February 8, 2007 2:47 PM
7

Wow. That Trim-Spa shit really works!

Posted by Boomer | February 8, 2007 2:48 PM
8

I don't understand the glee you're taking either. With the exception of Gary, you should all do a little self-analysis to get at why this is funny to you. I hope that Reagan and Nixon burn in hell, but why would you enjoy the death of some uneducated woman who made some questionnable life choices. Also, she seemed to get it as good as she gave it in the taking advantage of category (Howard K. Stern seems like more of a douche bag), and didn't her son just OD a few months ago - she had to be desperately unhappy over that. Plus a baby just lost its mother.

Maybe not a sympathetic character, but probably not deserving this sort of derision.

Posted by dwb | February 8, 2007 3:01 PM
9

No Tongue. Thank God!

Posted by elswinger | February 8, 2007 3:21 PM
10

Gary and dwb, you are failing to understand that mocking the misfortunes of rich, talentless celebrities is the biggest form of entertainment there is. Anna Nicole's function in life was to be a continuous train wreck. There was no other reason to pay attention to her. There are millions of dumb, pretty girls out there, but only Anna Nicole was able to turn that into a riveting moral and physical collapse. That's the show. That's all there is.

It's the same reason we follow Paris Hilton: no one, not even stupid teenage girls, actually likes her. We like to make fun of her, and wish ill upon her, and laugh when it happens. This is the chief form of celebrity now. Britney Spears, pop star? Popular. Britney Spears, shithead-marrying, cooter-baring, falling-down drunk white trash? SUPERSTAR.

There are many, many more examples. In fact, there aren't very many counterexamples. Who cares about so-called "celebrities" who are well-adjusted, sane, intelligent, and polite? Nobody. We demand our celebrities be talentless substance abusers, laughably incompetent at relationships and child-rearing, foul-mouthed, retarded, mean and violent. Nobody wants to watch Courtney Love "sing" or "act"; we want to watch her fall off her shoes and scream curses at the photographer, and we want to see her weep as a judge takes her child away from her.

Anna Nicole was just better at it than most celebrities. She is, after all, famous for nothing; she's never seriously acted, sang, or even modeled; her "modeling" was really "stripping". But that's OK, because talent and artistic performance just get in the way of what we really want, which is a bloated, pilled-up Anna fighting with her interior decorator over pillows while accidentally banging her kid's head against the bannister. With tears.

I certainly have no use for the guy she fought the long probate battle with; he never did anything to earn the money, while she fucked the last few drops out of the old man for it. Hard duty.

Posted by Fnarf | February 8, 2007 3:24 PM
11

brilliant

Posted by fnarf-lover | February 8, 2007 3:38 PM
12

Semi-off topic: A big difference between Anna Nicole and Paris Hilton was that Anna Nicole always had the potential to be penniless. Her life of constant luxury was always in jeopardy from a potential lawsuit.

Paris has been filmed saying the N&F words and there is nothing that can be done about it. Paris can never be held accountable because she is from one of the richest families in the world.

Posted by elswinger | February 8, 2007 3:40 PM
13

Gee Fnarf, I know you're a conservative, but can't you keep the misogyny at least a little under the surface?

Posted by dwb | February 8, 2007 3:43 PM
14

Conservative? How? Misogynist? Where?

Everything I said applies equally to a whole host of male celebrities as well. Is OJ a woman? Is MJ? Though it is true that people generally find the suffering of female train wrecks more pleasurable to watch than that of men. I maintain that it applies to ALL celebrities, male or female; people just don't care about singin' and dancin' anymore. They want to make fun. These attitudes I describe are not just my own but those of the country in which I live. They are national traits. They are yours too. This is who we are. You think you're better than me? That's a laugh.

Posted by Fnarf | February 8, 2007 3:56 PM
15

That analogy is inaccurate unless that skeleton is a billionaire.

Posted by Gitai | February 8, 2007 3:56 PM
16

I'm laughing my ass off over the Slog's coverage of Anna's death, while at the same time recognizing the tragedy. I think it is completely possible to do this. There is Anna the individual, and Anna the persona. Anna the persona was a joke, she was indeed famous for no reason but for us to mock her, much like Paris. Everything Fnarf said is true.

But that doesn't mean her life wasn't tragic and she wasn't taken advantage of and fucked over by every single heartless person she came in contact with. Her life was pathetic, and it's terrible knowing what happened to that girl who was absolutely beautiful and by many accounts a naive but sweet girl. Kid was just messed up and nobody bothered to help her.

Posted by kasa | February 8, 2007 3:58 PM
17

OJ=murderer=I smile when he gets what he deserves. MJ=kid groper=I smile when HE gets what he deserves. ANS=sad lady that never hurt anyone=Fnarf is a self-imported tool.

Posted by stevil | February 8, 2007 4:04 PM
18

Except that OJ and MJ don't get what they deserve; they get off scot-free. That's the American way. Oh, and be sure to spare a tear for the hundreds of thousands of sad ladies who never hurt anyone who don't have TV shows or half-billion dollar fortunes, won't you.

I am not self-imported; I came bundled with the original program.

Posted by Fnarf | February 8, 2007 4:08 PM
19

I said WHEN they get what they deserve. And if anyone is exhibiting "American Ways" it is you and your corrupt programming Fnarfy. Really, I mean c'mon, grow up smartypants.

Posted by stevil | February 8, 2007 4:14 PM
20

Charles, this is your second post on old folks in two days! What's with this age-bias? Are you hitting a midlife crisis?

I mean, yes, the old are a bit odd, somewhat disturbing. But why pick on them? Save that aggression for those with downs.

Posted by Johnnie | February 8, 2007 4:20 PM
21

Fnarf, the point is that you equate a woman sleeping with someone to murder and child molestation. I have to agree that this society is ill, but I'm not sure that it has devolved to the point of cheering on the death of Jezebels. You might need a little time on Freud's couch.

Posted by dwb | February 8, 2007 4:20 PM
22

WHY is the media canonizing her death like she's Princess Di? Yahoo posted in as Breaking News, like it was 9/11 or something.

She was a C-rate celebrity who couldn't keep her weight under control, or stay out of trouble. Give her a 30 second sound bite on the 11 o'clock news, and leave us alone.

Posted by Gomez | February 8, 2007 4:21 PM
23

Today is Charles's birthday; that's why he's even more death obsessed/ageist than usual.

Posted by Amy Kate | February 8, 2007 4:29 PM
24

Apparently I've been out of the loop because I didn't know she died until I read these comments...

....I've never thought Fnarf was conservative...just articulate as hell. Even though I don't always agree, the man (and I'd better not be accused of thinking women are stupid for assuming he's a man) has some good points.

Posted by Dianna | February 8, 2007 5:39 PM
25

Dwb, I cheer on the death of everyone famous, not just Jezebels. Bruce Willis, for instance. I would throw a party if he was to fall off a high building or pee into an electric socket and die. Syvester Stallone. Tommy Lee. Dennis Rodman. The "Git 'er Done" guy. The CEO of American Apparel. Bono in particular; I would like to hear that his passing was particularly long and painful. You want me to go on?

I'm not unusual in this desire, just more honest. The evidence is on any supermarket magazine rack, or any of several thousand celebrity-hounding websites: we love our celebrities, but only if we can tear them to shreds. It's far more important than their actual creative efforts these days. That's what makes Paris Hilton a more important artist than, say, Yo Yo Ma. No one pays any attention to Yo Yo Ma's hissy fits, porno tapes, or drunken cat fights in bars, because there aren't any. All he can do is play the cello. Who cares about the cello? We want TRASH.

That is what America is all about now. We all bear the guilt of what is happening in Iraq, and it has turned us into monsters.

Dianna: I am a mere shadow of a man, alas.

Posted by Fnarf | February 8, 2007 6:12 PM
26

And you hate other people for their lack of adding anything of substance to the world, Fnarf? People with ridiculously inflated egos that you deem untalented should die, but then you facetiously assert that the Iraq war has made you a monster and you no longer can maintain human qualities. I get the sense that you also find the deaths of innumerable innocent Iraqis to be amusing.

Posted by dwb | February 8, 2007 7:32 PM
27

Your sensors have failed you, then, dwb. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I HATE these people for not adding anything of substance. It's a complicated transaction; what I really mean is that I LOVE TO HATE them. I don't really want them to go away, because then the pleasure I feel when they are seen to suffer goes away too. I'm merely trying to understand what is going on with our celebrity culture.

But wondering what effect my role -- and any American who doesn't think he or she bears personal responsibility for Iraq doesn't know what the word "responsibility" means -- in the very real tragedies aflame in world affairs has on the bizarre and hateful, but orgasmically pleasurable, celebrity culture.

In a nutshell, I'm saying that America is a nation of sadists, and sadists get cultural icons like Anna Nicole Smith.

Posted by Fnarf | February 8, 2007 7:52 PM
28

Between you, me and Dianne (who else could care at this point?), I don't know or care what the rest of that crap has to do with anything, but I certainly agree that every American bears personal responsibility for Iraq. It's out of place in your facetious diatribe, but your aside is very well put.

Posted by dwb | February 8, 2007 8:03 PM
29

What, again?! They're just old people, dude. It's a weird thing to choose as your pet peeve.

Posted by shoshanna | February 8, 2007 9:19 PM
30


ANS was just trying to survive like anyone else. She used what assets she had (a nice body and pretty face) to survive and get ahead. That's what we all do. We survive and try to take opportuntities when they present themselves.

The reason this is getting such coverage is that it shows that the people who surround celebrities relish in their downfall and let them die. Belushi, Chris Farrell, River Phoenix, Edie Sedgwick, etc. they all were dying in front of people's eyes and no one did a thing.

Also, since ANS was such a cartoon not worth taking seriously, it's a shock that she something as serious as dying. She was supposed to be hanging out at a pool somewhere with a little dog, not DYING, for christ's sake.

Posted by survival | February 9, 2007 2:12 AM
31

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