City Crayon Terrorism
posted by February 2 at 16:38 PMon
My coworkers are familiar with, and mystified by, my obsession with campaign mailers—those stiff-paper fliers that show up in mailboxes with increasing frequency the more often you vote. I have a folder in my file cabinet four inches thick that’s full of them. Having seen literally thousands of mailers—good, bad, mediocre, and just confusing, I have a question for the people who promote school and education levies:
WHY must you always use fake “kid’s” crayon writing to sell your campaigns? Isn’t there a more creative way of evoking “education” than kiddie-crayon scrawl? Are we supposed to feel sorry for the kids—like, if we don’t vote for your taxes, the cute little (fake) kid who wrote this campaign flier in cute little (fake) crayon writing will have to go to school in a cardboard box and we all know they don’t have crayons there! Or do you just think we’re so dumb and attention-deficient that we won’t read the writing on your fliers anyway, making the crayon-scribble a kind of semiotic code for dummies?
Whatever the reason: Please stop. I know schools are important, kids need good schools to succeed, blah, blah. Hell, the Stranger endorsed both your measures extending property taxes for schools. But: For the love of all that is good and decent, please come up with a better way of selling them to us.