Slog - Comments on Britney Spears: Umbrella of Destruction! http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction Have you seen this picture? And this one? If not, you can read the story about Britney's tirade with an umbrella -- or you can watch the VIDEO of Britney's tirade with an umbrella! WARNING: This clip is NSFW for foul language and violence with a bumbershoot. WARNING AGAIN: In certain parts the video is distressingly dark—which really adds to the "horror flick" vibe of this film. Okay… mentally prepare youself… and go ahead. Question: 1) Why are all paparazzi foreign? It sounds like she's in Istanbul.... Copyright 2008 Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:57:43 -0800 Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:03:22 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by JC Woah, that first picture is just begging to be photoshopped into a "Britney Spears has a posse" sticker.

]]> JC http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647027 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647027 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:09:33 -0800 Comment by B.D. She's got that Tonya Harding look in her eyes.

]]> B.D. http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647042 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647042 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:14:50 -0800 Comment by Levislade So very sad, in so many ways. I love that the one guy is saying "how are you doing, we're worried about you," while stalking her at gas stations and flashing 100 pictures a minute of her.

What a bizarre culture we've come up with for ourselves.

]]> Levislade http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647052 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647052 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:20:09 -0800 Comment by monkey I love the please to "please leave me alone" followed by head shaving for the world to see stunts that cry for attention.

Would someone please introduce her to some poverty stricken mothers who don't know where their or their kid's next meal is coming from. I have a hard time feeling sorry for those whose problem is fame.

]]> monkey http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647068 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647068 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:23:32 -0800 Comment by keshmeshi Britney could move to a part of the world where no one knows who she is, or doesn't care. But, she won't because, despite her whining, she craves the attention.

So, in short, fuck her.

]]> keshmeshi http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647120 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647120 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:42:29 -0800 Comment by Fnarf She needs to get a goddamn manager who can tell her what to do. This is not a career, bashing cars with umbrellas and a shaven head. Though it might be the makings of a really killer punk rock record.

She is, however, achieving one thing most people would have thought impossible: making a case for child custody for Kevin Federline.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647170 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647170 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:06:21 -0800 Comment by DreadLion I told you she was going to go Valerie Salanis style batsh*t crazy on everyone.
She is going to write a book thats going to make that Valeries book SCUM look like it was made for kids.
Its cool with me. Hollywood needs some crazy celebrities that try to find their place in the real world.
She didn't act no different than any average cat from L.A.

]]> DreadLion http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647182 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647182 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:15:33 -0800 Comment by elswinger She will fill the void that Anna Nicole has left.

]]> elswinger http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647190 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647190 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:18:59 -0800 Comment by SDA in SEA On the one hand, she has shaved her head and more-or-less gone totally batshit crazy, so a little unwanted attention shouldn't be completely unexpected. C'mon, get real.

On the other hand, if I couldn't even stop for gas and a candy bar without some random asshole sticking a camera in my face and snapping off a thousand flashes and following me around like a stalker, I think I'd be more than capable of a bit of umbrella assault too. For fuck's sake, guys, take a couple of pictures if you have to, but you don't have to be a complete asshole about it.

]]> SDA in SEA http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647209 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647209 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:23:45 -0800 Comment by golob In the first picture she looks like an extra in THX 1138.

]]> golob http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647232 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647232 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:32:28 -0800 Comment by Matthew Looks like an outtake from The Blair Witch Project...who can be the first to come up with a funny take? "Hair Witch Project"? What else ya got?

Oh, and I love the "THX 1138" reference.

]]> Matthew http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647246 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647246 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:39:36 -0800 Comment by Max Solomon post-post-partum depression.

who's minding the little ones, mommy spears? staff?

why are you even in hollywood? i thought you had a mcmansion in lousiana.

]]> Max Solomon http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647250 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647250 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:44:04 -0800 Comment by Sasha For the first time ever I think Britney is kind of cool. I especially liked the way she said "f*%# you!" After being the artificial object of desire for so many for so long, she unleashes the warrior within. I thought I would never forgive her for telling us to just go along with the president. This is the awakening of new Britney, free of bullsh***, alive with vigor, striking out at the corrupt establishment of mainstream entertainment. An establishment that drives peopel to the brink of insanity then makes a spectacle of their demise. But not this time. I see the new Britney rising from the ashes and kicking some a$$! RIGHT ON WOMAN! TELL THE PEOPLE WHERE IT'S AT!

]]> Sasha http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647251 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647251 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:44:42 -0800 Comment by kerri harrop i'm not one to pity celebrities, and am certainly no fan of britney's music but, man, i feel sorry for the girl.

the paparazzi is out of control. watching any footage from sites like x17 or tmz is disturbing. this never-ending quest for celeb gossip is disgusting.

yes, public figures should expect to be in the public eye. but, for chrissake, this constant hounding is appalling. i can't even imagine how awful it must be to have photographers documenting your every move.

]]> kerri harrop http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647306 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647306 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:14:55 -0800 Comment by Royal Wulf @1
http://brithasaposse.livejournal.com/

]]> Royal Wulf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647317 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647317 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:24:42 -0800 Comment by isabelita Meh. She's long been a supporter of George W. Bush. Her mental health has always been questionable.
And she's old enough to know that if she really doesn't want to be scrutinized, she should leave town.

]]> isabelita http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647330 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647330 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:32:59 -0800 Comment by seattle98104 someone give that girl a gun.

]]> seattle98104 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647338 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647338 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:38:05 -0800 Comment by humanness Call me crazy - I'm no fan, but it seems somewhat possible that Britney may be going through a process of returning to the realm of a normal human - tolerance for inches-away flashbulbs depleted, desire for privacy resumed, (no)carpet-matches-(no)drapes grooming. The shorn head could symbolize a cleansing, transitioning to a 'normal' life. Sure - there's probably a piper or two she still owes - but give her some fucking space. These people (paparazzi) are ruthless and have stunted souls.
Yea - she could also be going bat-shit crazy instead of going 'normal', but fuck those assholes w/ their cameras.

]]> humanness http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647342 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647342 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:40:41 -0800 Comment by phenics Is she, by now, the poster child for why not to be a virgin, ala Fundamentalist Christianity, until married? Married while being a childish 20' something who never really had a chance to cut loose while a teenager?

Let's take a tally:


  • The quickie Vegas wedding


  • Vegas divorce


  • having a child when not emotionally ready


  • Endangering said child by driving with child in lap
  • Feeling no real remorse about child endangerment, stating that was the way she was raised


  • Divorce (the marriage should have been a STR, no vows exchanged)


  • The catty "Fed Up" shit about the ex-hubby. Ex-bashing, never a mature option, even if it feels good at the time


  • Hanging with Madonna. Like the "Truth or Dare" lady should be consulted on career moves, no matter how successful she was in the 1980’s/early 90’s.


  • Being friends with Paris Hilton. As if Paris shared ANY moral values Brit might have once had. I would be really surprised to find out that Paris was a virgin in her 'tween years, as if.
  • Indecent exposure. Flashing a cooter (ball sack too guys) isn’t really sexy, its just shows a cheap and trashy skeeziness.
  • Having to go to rehab in the first place.
  • not sticking out rehab.
  • bald chicks are cool. Bald ex-mousekeeter chicks, maybe not so much. Not a very good career move, in our looks based entertainment industry.


    And that is just the shit on the evening news... but she is shaping up for an alt album release, if only she could tap into her angst. I might actually like to hear some seriously hard angst music from her.


    I am at least thankful she didn't go for the full Chelsea Girl look and went for the full bald.

    • ]]>     phenics http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647382 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647382 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:03:27 -0800     Comment by Aislinn While there weren't children involved (and thus no one was looking to her for
    care, love, or guidance), Mariah Carey also had a very public emotional breakdown, and it hasn't seemed to have had much of an affect on her career. I think the main difference is that Mariah had enough people to usher her into some help, whereas Britney has fired all of her people (or they've left for greener pastures), and is floundering alone. Why her mother, who seemed to have such an influence over her marriage, hasn't swooped in I don't know. Perhaps it is time for an intervention?

    ]]>     Aislinn http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647443 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647443 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:44:44 -0800     Comment by COMTE Seriously, the only thing worse than whiney, attention-starved celebrities are the jerks with the cameras who stalk them.

    I think both sides could use a good umbrella-whacking, knock some sense into 'em.

    ]]>     COMTE http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647490 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647490 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:23:55 -0800     Comment by elswinger Britney, Whitney, and Lindsey, should hook up with Rosie for a spin-off of the view.

    ]]>     elswinger http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647508 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647508 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:43:47 -0800     Comment by tsst the only reason she shaved her hair, er... I mean, nubs and extenstions--to avoid drug testing. If you want to be left alone, don't go shaving your hair in public, try to wear underwear, and try not to live your life like an episode of COPS.

    ]]>     tsst http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647546 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c647546 Celeb Fri, 23 Feb 2007 17:12:19 -0800     Comment by avatar ~ Yes...where IS Larry "I'm fired, now I'm re-hired" Rudolph (mgr.)thru this whole trainwreck? Perhaps I need to dig into some actual articles or press releases instead of being dually shocked and numbed by all the photos, video and sledge hammer media coverage.
    And I guess if she DID want to move to a part of the world where no one knows who she is (if that's possible), all she has to do is put out a next record half as awful as the last Destiny's Child or TLC albums...and it should all take care of itself.
    Good comments, people.

    ]]>     avatar http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c648121 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c648121 Celeb Sat, 24 Feb 2007 21:21:35 -0800     Comment by Sha I still say, post partum depression and I think we could find just a smidge of sympathy in our black cynical hearts.

    ]]>     Sha http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c648193 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c648193 Celeb Sun, 25 Feb 2007 02:00:25 -0800     Comment by mm That guy deserved what he got. The media contribute to celebrities going over the edge.

    ]]>     mm http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c648918 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c648918 Celeb Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:15:55 -0800     Comment by richard Cheese Hope she dies. No...truely. I very much wish death upon her. However, that would make her celebrity last longer, and become another worshiped "dead star"....so I retract my statement. I hope she does not die....but suffers long and hard at the brink of insanity for decades.

    ]]>     richard Cheese http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649212 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649212 Celeb Mon, 26 Feb 2007 05:49:23 -0800     Comment by richard Cheese Die pig....die!

    ]]>     richard Cheese http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649213 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649213 Celeb Mon, 26 Feb 2007 05:50:39 -0800     Comment by Sandy Been there, done that, to a boyfriends car. It don't mean shit.

    ]]>     Sandy http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649236 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649236 Celeb Mon, 26 Feb 2007 09:09:15 -0800     Comment by Sandy Been there, done that, to a boyfriends car. It don't mean shit.

    ]]>     Sandy http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649237 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649237 Celeb Mon, 26 Feb 2007 09:09:24 -0800     Comment by Dianne The media needs to stay out of her face and stop giving her what she is looking for. All of this attention!! She shaved her head and got tattoos when Anna Nicole died because she was losing some fame! Come on people and ignore this nutcase!

    ]]>     Dianne http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649397 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649397 Celeb Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:17:21 -0800     Comment by xxxanngry girl Britney is a beautiful girl who has gone through alot so fuck off, i am britney ok leave me alone

    ]]>     xxxanngry girl http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649902 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/02/britney_spears_umbrella_of_destruction#c649902 Celeb Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:03:22 -0800