OK, America’s biggest secular holiday approaches, with kickoff in, oh, 52 hours and 17 minutes. Or so.

Not that I’m looking forward to it or anything. Because despite the hype, I acknowledge certain facts: as Neil Steinberg points out today, about last year’s Super Bowl:

90.7 million Americans watched the game.

That means [ … ] that some 200 million Americans didn’t watch the Super Bowl last year. Which then means, if history is any judge, that two-thirds of the country won’t be watching it Sunday. Because there are more interesting things to occupy yourself with.

But the haters—or to be fair to Steinberg, the disdainers— aside, the Super Bowl really has something for everyone. Some folks do just watch the commercials, some have money on the game, some are praying for a wardrobe malfunction (though isn’t Prince’s whole wardrobe one big malfuction?). Some of us like to hate Republicans and Homophobes like Manning and Dungy. And who doesn’t like eating like a pig and drinking like a fish?

But some of us like sports, so here’s my call: if the Bears hold the Colts scoreless through the first quarter, Chicago will win. The weather looks like it’ll be rainy, though probably not tornadoes (man, is Florida cursed or what?) and this favors a team used to playing outdoors over the Dome-heads from Indy. The Bears RB tandem of Jones and Benson have very different running styles, and used in rotation they scramble a defense’s brain. And the Colts D is ranked at the very bottom of the NFL against the run.

Then there was this little experiment run by the good folks at Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo. In Darwinian terms, Bears don’t just beat Colts, they eat ‘em.

Post-mortem, for good or ill, Monday morning.