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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A Wandering Heart—the Epilogue

posted by on February 14 at 17:43 PM

Boy! That was fun, wasn’t it? Grossing you all out with pictures of the pig’s heart we used to take the pictures for the covers of our Valentine’s Issue! Hooray!
epilogue.JPG
But honestly commenters, I gave you a little more credit. I took all of those pictures the day of the photoshoot, and promptly after I disposed of the heart. I will never tell you how.

I am not keeping it under my bed, in my freezer, or where the sun don’t shine. It didn’t look worse in each picture- that was a product of flash photography tomfoolery and your own little imaginations. I don’t need to get laid, and I don’t have a fetish that insists I have porcine organs around at all times.

But honestly, if you had a Ziploc bag full of pig hearts, wouldn’t you want to do something fun with them?

RSS icon Comments

1

That's what I figured. I was wondering why people seemed to think that you had kept that heart for all that time. I guess they liked the idea of you lugging around a squelchy heart for their entertainment.

Posted by Gloria | February 14, 2007 6:08 PM
2

So kids these days are defining "fun" as boring the shit out of people with not-funny and not-interesting pictures of pig hearts? Who woulda thunkit?

Posted by Lechim | February 14, 2007 6:39 PM
3

Ari...you don't need to get laid? Really?

Posted by ziplock | February 14, 2007 6:45 PM
4

If I had a ziplog bag of pig hearts, I would rub them in the faces of those false converts who are so obviously jews, and if they as much as cringed, I'd burn them at the stake, cut out their hearts, and feed them to swine.
And before you point out that it is contradictory to burn someone at the stake and still throw their hearts to swine, let me point out to you that the Holy Mother Church, the Blessed Bride of Our Holy Lord Jesus Christ, is built on contradictions much thornier than this.

Posted by Tomas de torquemada | February 14, 2007 7:19 PM
5

Yeah, all the locations were just in too close proximity to each other; next time you have a ziplock baggie of pig's hearts and want to make it seem like you've been keeping them around for more than a week - at least go further than walking distance from your office to fake the photographic evidence.

Posted by COMTE | February 14, 2007 10:18 PM
6

I need to get laid.

Posted by Mike in MO | February 15, 2007 5:46 AM
7

I think you need to make a calendar. I'd love one!

Posted by monkey | February 15, 2007 7:36 AM
8

I was amused by the series, but am such an unthinking idiot consumer that if I thought about it at all, I thought you kept the heart around a few days.

Sigh.

Posted by Mark Mitchell | February 15, 2007 9:05 AM
9

I thought it was neat.

Posted by Baxter | February 15, 2007 10:19 AM
10

-- ari, this was fun and i kept yer lil' secret to myself. gross but fun.

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