??!! A Wandering Heart—the Epilogue
posted by February 14 at 17:43 PM
onBoy! That was fun, wasn’t it? Grossing you all out with pictures of the pig’s heart we used to take the pictures for the covers of our Valentine’s Issue! Hooray!
But honestly commenters, I gave you a little more credit. I took all of those pictures the day of the photoshoot, and promptly after I disposed of the heart. I will never tell you how.
I am not keeping it under my bed, in my freezer, or where the sun don’t shine. It didn’t look worse in each picture- that was a product of flash photography tomfoolery and your own little imaginations. I don’t need to get laid, and I don’t have a fetish that insists I have porcine organs around at all times.
But honestly, if you had a Ziploc bag full of pig hearts, wouldn’t you want to do something fun with them?
Comments
That's what I figured. I was wondering why people seemed to think that you had kept that heart for all that time. I guess they liked the idea of you lugging around a squelchy heart for their entertainment.
So kids these days are defining "fun" as boring the shit out of people with not-funny and not-interesting pictures of pig hearts? Who woulda thunkit?
Ari...you don't need to get laid? Really?
If I had a ziplog bag of pig hearts, I would rub them in the faces of those false converts who are so obviously jews, and if they as much as cringed, I'd burn them at the stake, cut out their hearts, and feed them to swine.
And before you point out that it is contradictory to burn someone at the stake and still throw their hearts to swine, let me point out to you that the Holy Mother Church, the Blessed Bride of Our Holy Lord Jesus Christ, is built on contradictions much thornier than this.
Yeah, all the locations were just in too close proximity to each other; next time you have a ziplock baggie of pig's hearts and want to make it seem like you've been keeping them around for more than a week - at least go further than walking distance from your office to fake the photographic evidence.
I need to get laid.
I think you need to make a calendar. I'd love one!
I was amused by the series, but am such an unthinking idiot consumer that if I thought about it at all, I thought you kept the heart around a few days.
Sigh.
I thought it was neat.
-- ari, this was fun and i kept yer lil' secret to myself. gross but fun.
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