Sports No Expecation of Sympathy
posted by on February 5 at 8:07 AM
And so it goes. The Christian Homophobes triumph in the rain.
No one really cares about game analysis—if you do, let me know and I’ll give some in the comments thread. But humor on a Hangover Monday is always appreciated:
Best lines heard: From the pre-game observations of Norman Chad, whose great column The Couch Slouch I cannot find online:
Cirque du Soleil takes the field for eight minutes. They remind of of the Bears offense—a bunch of odd folks running around and jumping around, but nowhere near the end zone.
Then, more Chad: “Grossman under center is starting to look like some sort of carnival concession.”
But the best line, from an apoplectic drunk fan on post-game sports talk radio, regarding Rex Grossman: “In the backfield, that clown did everything but make balloon animals.”
The circus is over, folks. The good news: pitchers and catchers report soon, the baseball season opens in 55 days. The Cubs games most to look forward to? A mid-week set against your Mariners June 12-14, and Monday August 20, when Mike from Mo should join me for a Red Line Double-header: Cubs v. Cardinals in the afternoon at Wrigley, White Sox v. Royals at 7:11 (and, yes, that starting time is brought to you by the convenience store chain, which sponsors it.)
Devin Hester was 30-to-1 to score the first TD of Super Bowl XLI, so some folks are happy this morning.
Someone at the bar I was at last night shouted "faggot" at Payton Manning after he made yet another 7-8 pass down the field against the let's-try-this-play-again Bears defense.
So if doing really well makes you gay, can we get Rex a butt plug or something? Dan, can you work that out?
Since we're on the subject of the Cubs, Chi-Fan, enjoy those 95 losses.
I still can't believe how conservative and gun-shy the Bears were on both sides of the ball. Take some chances! Hit somebody at the line of scrimmage! Go downfield sooner, rather than later when the Colts D is expecting it!
That said, the Bears proved to be a solid defense, because if that's any other defense, the Colts win this game 49-17. The Colts had to fight for almost every yard.
I was really sorry the Bears lost. I thought of Chicago Fan, sitting in the bar, screaming and pulling hair out....much like us Seahawk fans last year!
My condolences Chicago Fan, I was rooting for the Bears too. =(
@Monique
Thanks.
@ Gomez:
As for 95 losses, I love the Mariners too. Last year is over, this year the Cubs will rise again. Can't be worse. I pray.
And you're right about the D: any team that holds Manning and Co. to 22 points (7 were off an INT return) when they're on the field for 38 fucking minutes is a very good D. Too bad our O was more Zero.
Just you watch, Chi-Fan! This is the year the M's... finish over .500. Sigh... it's like the late 80's all over again.
Take comfort in the idea that the Cubs and M's are in a similar boat.
As a man who hates pretty much everything associated with the State of Indiana, but who hates Dan Marino even more, I am glad that I can finaly say, without a doubt: Peyton Manning > Dan Marino.
And Rex Grossman WAS WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS!
www.washingtonpost.com has Norman Chad's column that you referenced on line.
I didn't know cubs fans actually looked forward to spring training ;) (I kill me)
As far as 8/20, I'm down. Get my email from your bro and make it happen.
@ Mike in Mo
I was semi-joking, but what the heck: you can contact me at
humoringcolleen@yahoo.com
I can handle the tickets, but you're on your own for lodging, food, etc. And if you turn out to be a jerk, we'll ditch ya after the Cubs game, or abandon you someplace unpleasant on the Sout' Side.
Bill
Don't overlook Cubs/Mariners 2-gamer in Vegas at the end of Spring Training. Should see the starting line-ups (on TV -- radio at the very least) at that point, though I wish the M's were starting the Cubs' manager instead of our own. Enjoy, Chicago.
Why was Manning MVP? Clearly, the best thing the Colts had going for them was Grossman.
Still, it was good to see Archie "the Aints" Manning see his son get one.
Bill,
I must say I'm not so much of a schnerr that I would assume that you would take care of *lodging* etc. sheesh!
The hard part would be getting tix for the cubs-cards. If you can manage that, I would be forever indebted. I haven't been to wrigley since '98! Sox-royals won't be too difficult.
As far as me being a jerk...please. I am nothing if not a total gentleman ;)
Grossman crumpled first. That's why Manning got the MVP (and prob to avoid the inevitable Waaaaahmbulance! call -- he's proud to be on that team, did you hear?). Cut that kid Grossman some slack, though. He's a tiny child, what, 18, 19 years old? He's still growing up. He needs our support to overcome a case of his nerves getting to him.
It was a good game to watch. Neither defense wanted to give up anything. Manning simply outlasted Grossman. The Vet takes it with craft and experience. Waaah.
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