City Trail Of Blood!
posted by January 31 at 18:01 PMon
Itís a terrible stain, and it leaves us with terrible questions. Who—or what?—poor mortally wounded thing was the unfortunate source of the mysterious TRAIL OF BLOOD that runs for half a block, just off Broadway? It appeared suddenly several days ago (Saturday afternoon-ish), and it is still—at this very moment!—running in a drippy scarlet, south-to-north path (judging by the “splatter pattern,” if I may get all CSI, which I never watch, on your ass) from the intersection of Broadway, Roy and 10th Avenues E. It zigzags the length of the sidewalk, all the way to the doors of Planet Beach or whatever (the melanoma shop by the KINKOS), where it abruptly stops.
I asked the people at Planet Beach or whatever what happened. They claim complete ignorance.
There has been no rain to wash the stain away, and I have been forced to walk over it since it appeared. Such a relentless trail of blood cannot be ignored. Itís a mystery that screams to be solved. It really grosses me out.
Did some poor beast—raccoon, squirrel, or—God no—little dog?—get struck at the intersection by some skinny little Bellevue bimbo as she was driving all alone in her gigantic SUV while texting little Kodeeís soccer schedule to all the mothers on the phone tree? (Iíll find her and kill her, I swear.) Did the beast then drag its poor carcass to drop finally dead at the doors of Planet Beach, imagining them to be the doors of doggie heaven? Did a crackhead get cut for the rock in his sock? Was it the extraordinary moment that some poor pubescent became a Woman? Is it all part of some horrible hoax in a plot to make David Hasselhoff cry?
And how, if at all, is the bloody trail related to the ELITE TAVERNíS MOVING PARTY last weekend? (The entire blockóDa Lat, The Elite, Broadway Wok and Grill, the former Jade Pagoda—-has fallen to the plague of developers that has swept Seattle like the punishing hand of some hipster-hating deity. Tragic. The Elite, for example, is a most ancient gay tavern—voted Most Beloved in a recent issue of Seattle Magazine (?!)— where gays, old and older, have congregated to be old and gay since the dawn of time.) Or is it related somehow to the smashed window at Da Lat? I donít know. I donít want to know.
If you know—or are—-the source of the MYSTERIOUS TRAIL OF BLOOD, donít tell me all about it at Adrian@thestranger.com. Iím serious.