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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Trail Of Blood!

posted by on January 31 at 18:01 PM


Itís a terrible stain, and it leaves us with terrible questions. Who—or what?—poor mortally wounded thing was the unfortunate source of the mysterious TRAIL OF BLOOD that runs for half a block, just off Broadway? It appeared suddenly several days ago (Saturday afternoon-ish), and it is still—at this very moment!—running in a drippy scarlet, south-to-north path (judging by the “splatter pattern,” if I may get all CSI, which I never watch, on your ass) from the intersection of Broadway, Roy and 10th Avenues E. It zigzags the length of the sidewalk, all the way to the doors of Planet Beach or whatever (the melanoma shop by the KINKOS), where it abruptly stops.

I asked the people at Planet Beach or whatever what happened. They claim complete ignorance.

There has been no rain to wash the stain away, and I have been forced to walk over it since it appeared. Such a relentless trail of blood cannot be ignored. Itís a mystery that screams to be solved. It really grosses me out.

Did some poor beast—raccoon, squirrel, or—God no—little dog?—get struck at the intersection by some skinny little Bellevue bimbo as she was driving all alone in her gigantic SUV while texting little Kodeeís soccer schedule to all the mothers on the phone tree? (Iíll find her and kill her, I swear.) Did the beast then drag its poor carcass to drop finally dead at the doors of Planet Beach, imagining them to be the doors of doggie heaven? Did a crackhead get cut for the rock in his sock? Was it the extraordinary moment that some poor pubescent became a Woman? Is it all part of some horrible hoax in a plot to make David Hasselhoff cry?


And how, if at all, is the bloody trail related to the ELITE TAVERNíS MOVING PARTY last weekend? (The entire blockóDa Lat, The Elite, Broadway Wok and Grill, the former Jade Pagoda—-has fallen to the plague of developers that has swept Seattle like the punishing hand of some hipster-hating deity. Tragic. The Elite, for example, is a most ancient gay tavern—voted Most Beloved in a recent issue of Seattle Magazine (?!)— where gays, old and older, have congregated to be old and gay since the dawn of time.) Or is it related somehow to the smashed window at Da Lat? I donít know. I donít want to know.

If you know—or are—-the source of the MYSTERIOUS TRAIL OF BLOOD, donít tell me all about it at Iím serious.


RSS icon Comments


you are wrong, it runs north-south from planet beach(bleach?) to the intersection.. it is a symbol for the price seattle will pay for the atrocity of density that is worshipped in the stranger, and seattle at large...heed heed for the developers will bonk(boink?) you on the nose, and you will know us by our trail of sanguine drippiness....verily, drippy truthiness....

Posted by bloodofdensity | January 31, 2007 6:27 PM

I came upon that scene after an incident happened on that corner.
Someone or thing smashed the huge window of the Da Lat Vietnamese restaurant next to the Elite (the window is now boarded up).
I am assuming that this is the mysterious connection.
Cops and ambulance were on the scene and were questioning people...

Posted by Aqua | January 31, 2007 6:36 PM

Planet Beach?

Maybe someone's missing a tumour.

Posted by rodrigo | January 31, 2007 7:05 PM

Mister Ryan - try menstrual dripping - logical enough

Posted by selma | January 31, 2007 7:40 PM

You Seattlites have no idea just how easy you have it.

I live in East Boston. The sidewalk outside my apartment, mid-morning in July of last year.

Posted by Nathan | January 31, 2007 8:17 PM

Jesus! Looks like the end of Jaws.

Posted by lanset | January 31, 2007 8:48 PM

"by some skinny little Bellevue bimbo as she was driving all alone in her gigantic SUV while texting little Kodeeís soccer schedule to all the mothers on the phone tree?"

fuck you. I live on the eastside and I get sick of this shit. It's uncalled for, and it's not funny.

Posted by pwday | January 31, 2007 9:07 PM

i agree with #7. seriously. i'm no fan of sprawl or SUV's but that was just completely out-of-context and puerile snobbery.

Posted by pffft | January 31, 2007 9:40 PM

Not to add the absurd contentiousness of this blog, but agreed with #7 and #8. And I live on Capitol Hill with the rest of you asstrouts. :P

Posted by Belmondo | January 31, 2007 10:17 PM

oh well, I thought it was hyterical and apt...especially after having been nearly run over by a scrawny little blonde with red nails yakking away on her cell while piloting her Range Rover earlier today...sometimes the stereotype is just way too real.

Posted by blast off | January 31, 2007 10:46 PM

Yeah, like OMG, I totally agree, #7, 8, and 9!!! It's so totally unfair that The Stranger would just cold dis all us east side peeps. We totally read The Stranger, and we need our SUVs. So we have kids, who play soccer, and we drive them around in SUV's, which kill cats... yeah?

Posted by GW | February 1, 2007 12:42 AM

Well, while I found that comment amusing, it's still a stereotype about the Eastside. Seattle folks are too fucking smug for their own good on this point. Yea, a great percentage of you (though I'd like to see some real statistics to back this up) may be conscientious when it comes to vehicles of choice, there were still an awful lot of SUVs heading east in the morning to work when I lived in Seattle.

But, my main contention with the post is that the blood appeared "suddenly". If so, do you suppose this was a demonic or an angelic force that caused it to rise from the sidewalk? More likely it was dropped there over a period of time by some creature. You may have "suddenly" (or just) noticed it, but the blood most likely just poured out drop by drop.

Posted by B.D. | February 1, 2007 6:34 AM

Look for frogs next.

Posted by golob | February 1, 2007 7:53 AM

I'm sure there are some lovely, lovely Suburban people out there who don't drive gas hogging SUV's, and if they DO, well, there must be some who know how to drive on crowded, narrow urban residential streets and safely navigate traffic circles and park their vehicles with consideration for the local residents, (meaning, not taking up parts of two spaces to ensure no one dings your vehicle). I pray that there are some folks who don't drive said vehicles while yakking on cell-phones or text messaging with one hand while steering with the other while attempting to hold a Starbucks cup. I'm almost positive that some people might have raised responsible children who don't flock to scary, diverse urban neighborhoods and drive around screaming 'Fag' to same-sex folks walking down the street. Or, I'm sure that there are suburbanites who don't whine about their commutes while refusing to support mass transit options that might relieve some of the problem...

I'm kinda sure....maybe...

Posted by michael strangeways | February 1, 2007 9:17 AM

and more importantly, WHY is this block getting torn down and WHY hasn't the Stranger covered this? Or have they? And what the hell is being built there and just how monstrously huge will the retail spaces be? (in other words, I'm guessing that the spaces will be huge and expensive and small local businesses won't be able to afford it and probably the developers won't allow anything that might be noisy like a bar to be tenants).

Posted by michael strangeways | February 1, 2007 9:21 AM

B.D. - You persnickety little bitch. I hope hell has a special "adverb" quadrant for you to be eternally assaulted by improper syntax.

Posted by GW | February 1, 2007 9:45 AM

Annoying whining about suburbanites == not funny. Clever insults directed at those suburbanites == hilarious. Ipso facto, this post is hilarious.

Posted by keshmeshi | February 1, 2007 10:28 AM

Or have they? And what the hell is being built there and just how monstrously huge will the retail spaces be? (in other words, I'm guessing that the spaces will be huge and expensive and small local businesses won't be able to afford it and probably the developers won't allow anything that might be noisy like a bar to be tenants).

They've covered it. And whatever eventually goes up there will be big, with big retail spaces, thanks to the Stranger and others who supported the rezone.

Posted by rodrigo | February 1, 2007 10:33 AM

Blah blah blah, everyone. This is Adrian Ryan, and everyone knows that the Gay Pulse beats through everything he types.

Over it.

Posted by frederick r | February 1, 2007 11:15 AM

then what is getting built there? is there signage? a developers name? does anyone actually have FACTS about what is going on in that block rather than condescendingly vague non-answers?

Posted by michael strangeways | February 1, 2007 11:46 AM

no, it's fuck the Eastside everyday, all day! what!

Posted by lar | February 1, 2007 3:23 PM

No mystery. The blood was from some guy who was pushed into DeLat's window by his friend. According to one onlooker they had been kicked out of the Deluxe Bar and Grill a few minutes prior for being drunk.

Yes, cops and ambulance were there for quite a while. I saw the guy and he was able to stand outside the Elite while police took reports from witnesses with a bandage ice bag? to his head but he seemed to be ok.
No dogs or cell phones seemed to be involved.

As for the mystery of the Elite and that business block, newspapers are quoting the developer Craig Swanson as stating he wants to put in an upscale restaurant regardless of the fact the Elite wanted to expand to the adjacent former Glade Market space.

A bit of history: Eugene the manager was visited by an senior woman last year who recalls a man who was shot in the Elite over 30 years ago protecting patrons from a gunman who walked into the Elite looking for a fight with the bartender. His ghost is said to still be there and is known as "The Protector".
I have no doubt the ghost will follow the Elite and continue to patron a friendly bar.

Posted by Ghost Hunter | February 12, 2007 2:32 PM

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