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Friday, January 19, 2007

The Uber-Sexy, Extra-Hot, Post Celebrity I Saw U Super Letter Round-Up!

posted by on January 19 at 15:00 PM

Like some sort of disturbing “phantom limb” phenomena, it just keeps itching and itching—and the “Adrian! I just saw a CELEBRITY!” letters? They arrive and arrive and arrive. And except for all of those readers I’ve ignored over the years, I never ignore a reader, so let’s do this quickly and get it over with, once and for bloody all…

“Dear Adrian, I saw David Lynch smoking with a bunch of folks outside Dahlia Lounge. Guess he was there for dinner after the thing at Cinerama.” –B. Mathew.

“Dear B. Mathew, Smoking kills.” –-Adrian

“PS—Have you ever been to that old Twin Peaks dinner up in North Bend or wherever? The one they featured in the series? Coffee and cherry pie? What a fucking rip-off. They changed the name to “Tweedy’s” (WTF?), and decorated it with cheesy velvet oil paintings and a bizarre and a rather disturbing display of stuffed toy “Tweety Birds” (not, indeed, “TweeDy Birds”, the big tards) that they’ve stapled, glued, and otherwise fastened somehow to every wall. And almost $10 for a burger?! A sin, I tell you. A fucking sin. I think I’m gonna buy that place and turn it into Adrian’s Super-Sexy Extra-Hot Twin Peaks Memorial Museum….remodel it to look just like it did in the show, and fill it full of wax renderings of dead Laura Palmers wrapped in plastic. Or maybe I’ll just burn it down in a rage. At this point, anything’s possible.”

“Adrian—What?! Was I the only one who saw Mary K. Letourneau and her much younger lover at The New York Dolls show?—-Bill

“Darling Bill, Yes! You were. But did you know that my hairstylist’s boyfriend is in the band that opened for The New York Dolls that night? The ‘Greatest Hits’ they are called? Well. They‘re pretty hot. So is my hair these days. I’m just saying.”—-Adrian

“Dear Adrian, I was in Seattle visiting my girlfriend Jill, who is currently starring in the WE channel’s ‘Dirty Dancing’. She was working at the Italian Restaurant ‘That’s Amore’, when my old boss Conan O’Brien came in to pick up pizzas. I wrote for ‘Late Night’ in 1996 until Mark Henry, the world’s strongest man, dropped me from the world’s biggest bowl of chili, severely injuring my back. Conan ordered ninety dollars of Italian pies, thanked my girlfriend, and then left without tipping. I brought the man orange juice every morning for six months, never spiking it. Times change, but beware the O’Briens!”—Cheers, Aja West - Mackrosoft CEO

“Dear Aja, My, that was a very long letter.” –Adrian

“Adrian, my dear…there is no way that you would ever have lost your virginity to a SHE. Thanks for my two columns of fame.”—-“Emelio” (A cherry-poppin’ possible relative of Evel Kneivel)

“Dear ‘Emelio’, I have no idea what you’re talking about. But, hey: we’ll always not have Paris.” —Adrian

“Dear Adrian, I saw Jeremy Piven at Asami, the Japanese restaurant next to Uwajumia! Does he have a bald spot in the back of his head? What’s he filming here? Or is he on leave from a Vancouver shoot? I swear it was him.”—-PlaneDanna

“Dear PlaneDanna, The answers to your questions, respectively, are as follows: Yes, Maybe, Only time will tell, and SHAZAM! Although their really was no fourth question. SHAZAM anyway. Thank you.” —-Adrian

“PS—-Who the hell is Jeremy Piven?”

RSS icon Comments

1

Did you really have to give Adrian slogging privileges? Really?

I'd almost rather read the latest Mudede rant than this tripe.

Posted by Willis | January 19, 2007 3:05 PM
2

Maybe we could lock Adrian and Charles in a blog of their own ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 19, 2007 3:07 PM
3

They should have changed the Twin Peaks Diner into a One-Eyed Jacks. If they did I would move there.

Posted by elswinger | January 19, 2007 3:14 PM
4

I would find a mudede remix of an adrian post and an adrian remix of a mudede post highly entertaining.

Posted by seattle98104 | January 19, 2007 3:21 PM
5

Still not gay enough.

Posted by Fnarf | January 19, 2007 3:22 PM
6

Is he really going to do this twice a day?

Posted by pox | January 19, 2007 3:36 PM
7

It's great to see you on the Slog, Adrian! Keep it up!

Posted by josh b | January 19, 2007 3:40 PM
8

celebrity i saw u deserves its own blog.

Posted by suggestion box | January 19, 2007 3:42 PM
9

Has Jeremy Piven not discovered the wonders of Rogaine?

Posted by keshmeshi | January 19, 2007 3:46 PM
10

Can someone do up Celebrity I Saw U On TV for all those peeps who they brought in to underrepresent Seattle on national TV with the singing and dancing?

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 19, 2007 3:47 PM
11

Jeremy Piven was in town doing a press tour for Smokin' Aces. Interviews will be everywhere next Friday.

Posted by annie | January 19, 2007 3:50 PM
12

That film ROCKED! My 15 yo son and I both give it two thumbs up and a triple high five!

Posted by Will in Seattle | January 19, 2007 4:12 PM
13

Twede's, you dumb motherfucker.

Posted by Bender | January 20, 2007 10:44 AM
14
Posted by child | February 5, 2007 12:10 PM

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