Slog - Comments on Someday My Prince Will Come... http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come ... but I will walk away. Actually, I will RUN. A little over a week ago, I went to a party called "Pornstarville" in Las Vegas. I was getting my drink on, in a room full of strangers and more barely-dressed porn chicks than you could shake a stick at. I've never seen so many, um, tanned and "augmented" ladies. I'm standing there, looking Seattle (pale and NON-augmented), and wearing a ratty Slayer t-shirt. Four men in razor-sharp suits come up to me and tell me that their friend wants to meet me. Okay. I sit down in a booth... Copyright 2008 Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:14:13 -0800 Wed, 24 Jan 2007 07:16:18 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by David Schmader This is my favorite story of all time.

]]> David Schmader http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595005 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595005 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:19:08 -0800 Comment by Colin Damn... you missed your chance to be subservient for the rest of your life. Whatever shall you do?

]]> Colin http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595008 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595008 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:20:05 -0800 Comment by gforce oprah says that we should all listen to our instincts! and she's filthy stinking rich, so she must be on to something.

good for you for listening to yourself. that situation sounded like it wasn't going to get any better. i mean, those eyebrows alone are enough to make a girl run for the door.

]]> gforce http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595018 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595018 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:25:55 -0800 Comment by Schola Cocksucka These Dubai guys have the right idea. If men kept their wives and sisters from driving cars, we wouldn't be dealing with these viaduct rebuild problems right now.

]]> Schola Cocksucka http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595022 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595022 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:28:23 -0800 Comment by SEAN NELSON, EMERITUS Brakes.

]]> SEAN NELSON, EMERITUS http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595028 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595028 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:36:43 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle I'd say you missed your chance to be one of his many wives, and miserable beyond your wildest dreams.

Your guts told you what to do and you did right by them. Good call.

oh, and @4, if we stopped importing oil and used the money we wasted in Iraq to build American-manufactured wind, solar, biomass, geothermal, tidal, and other sources, we wouldn't be concerned.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595030 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595030 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:37:43 -0800 Comment by Gloria I'm with David. This is my favourite story in all perpetuity.

]]> Gloria http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595033 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595033 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:39:48 -0800 Comment by I Ain't Lyin' Kelly, I'm sorry to say your pic of a "tanned and 'augmented' lady" is not, in fact, a lady. Unless, by "lady" you mean mtf TG.

And why would any self-respecting woman attend a "Pornstarville" party?

]]> I Ain't Lyin' http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595036 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595036 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:42:57 -0800 Comment by catnextdoor Sitting at home sick today- reading this story made me laugh out loud. Awesome. I couldn't tell where it was going at first but it ended beautifully.

]]> catnextdoor http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595039 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595039 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:44:16 -0800 Comment by Gitai Hey, you could have had the orthodox Muslim version of a one night stand:

THE 200 WIVES OF IMAM HASAN BIN ALI
There is a popular report in history that Imam Hasan bin Ali looked like the Prophet himself (may Allah's peace and our salams be unto them both). Muslims felt it their great honor to marry their daughters to the grandson of the Prophet who also looked like the Prophet. Imam Hasan was a very kind person. To please the Muslims, he would marry a woman and then divorce her, so that he could impart that honor on another family. This is the version recorded by "friends."

]]> Gitai http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595054 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595054 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:51:09 -0800 Comment by Baxter If a prince is looking to add to his subservient wife collection, a porn convention is probably the wrong place for that.

]]> Baxter http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595059 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595059 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:53:36 -0800 Comment by Mark Mitchell Killingly funny.

]]> Mark Mitchell http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595060 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595060 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:53:54 -0800 Comment by robotslave You might as well just shut down the SLOG now. There's nowhere to go but downhill from here.

]]> robotslave http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595063 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595063 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:57:27 -0800 Comment by bill Kelly O is now officially my hero.

]]> bill http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595065 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595065 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 10:58:52 -0800 Comment by Momma Kelly, you big sissy!! Why didn't you snatch up that "jet black turban"? You could've sold it on ebay (or used it to fix up that nasty Slayer tee). I can't stand those cocky-can-hardly-speak-English rich foreigners. Arrogant bastards; who do they think they are, that they can just kiss anyone's sweet baby girl!?! PUKE!

]]> Momma http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595084 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595084 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:10:19 -0800 Comment by patrick C Did I read this part correctly:

"Sure as shit, His Highness, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum has a whole bunch of sores."

Tasty! Drinks for everyone!! To all my friends!!!!

]]> patrick C http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595086 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595086 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:12:28 -0800 Comment by garbles can't blame a prince for tryin'--who wouldn't want to tap o's hot ass?

]]> garbles http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595088 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595088 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:17:02 -0800 Comment by alithea i believe the phrase "GET UP OFF ME, HO." would have been highly applicable in this situation, particularly when he was trying to taste your uvula.

]]> alithea http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595102 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595102 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:29:48 -0800 Comment by The_Pope_Of_Chili_Town That prince is one progressive cat. I met all my mates by hitting them in the head with a club and dragging them back to the cave. They would stay with me because they were intrigued with my high-tech toy... fire.

]]> The_Pope_Of_Chili_Town http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595115 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595115 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:37:26 -0800 Comment by keshmeshi Will the prince make the Drunk of the Week?

]]> keshmeshi http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595117 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595117 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:38:44 -0800 Comment by Fnarf Good lord, that's bizarre.

The sheiks will probably come out OK, but when the property boom explodes in Dubai, a whole lot of people are going to lose a whole lot of money. You probably missed out on a life of high-end shopping, better-than-first-class private jet and yacht travel, and abject slavery. And terrible sex.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595130 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595130 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:46:26 -0800 Comment by Jamey that's hilarious! You were probably smart for running, but what an awesome story you have to tell now! how come crazy funny stuff like that doesn't happen to me? I like stories.

]]> Jamey http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595141 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595141 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:53:32 -0800 Comment by Angela K Um, yeah funny story and all, and that guy sounds like an ass.

But - some of the commenters should really learn a bit about Middle Eastern countries before they start stereotyping every Arab state. Women in Dubai can drive, work, and vote. I'm not saying it's the most wonderful place in the world for women, but they've certainly made some progress. And they don't have harems. Where did you learn about Arab culture, Disney's Aladdin??

]]> Angela K http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595177 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595177 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:19:13 -0800 Comment by Mike in MO a couple of thoughts... this brings to mind something I've always wondered. You see these hot, young chicks with these disgusting old farts, and I can't hepl but to imagine the horror when it comes to actually fucking these guys. I mean, all the fancy restaurants & cars etc must be nice, but eventually these chicks got fuck these old bastards. How do they get through it? Zoloft?

Also, thanks for linking to the porn ho, but I would have much rather you link to a shot of you in a ratty Slayer t shirt. Talk about hot...

]]> Mike in MO http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595182 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595182 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:23:24 -0800 Comment by Gloria If there was a harem in Aladdin, I gotta say I missed it ... mostly while watching Jasmine's cleavage.

]]> Gloria http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595183 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595183 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:23:38 -0800 Comment by KELLY O #8 - another bizarre fact about the 'tanned and augmented' photo - that's comedian Tom Green behind that "girl". He was at the party, RAPPING. He has a rap group now, called "The Keepin It Real Crew"

]]> KELLY O http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595187 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595187 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:27:46 -0800 Comment by David Schmader JUst when you think the story can't possibly get any better....#25!

]]> David Schmader http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595198 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595198 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:39:38 -0800 Comment by keshmeshi Women in Dubai may have quite a few rights, but I wouldn't want to be a Dubai prince's wife. Who's to say that he's not above the law?

]]> keshmeshi http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595279 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595279 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 13:46:39 -0800 Comment by matthew fisher wilder Just when I thought Brad's beer+vaseline+Mama's Family was the best entry ever...

I'm sad we'll never know if a prince of Dubai could ever have been turned onto Slayer, otherwise, holy shit. Kelly, you are a hero!

]]> matthew fisher wilder http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595301 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595301 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:04:05 -0800 Comment by sniggles In that picture with Kelly, the prince actually looks pretty hot.

Anyway, bravo. Perfectly executed... you put in enough time to have a great cocktail party anecdote for all time, and you escaped before potentially finding yourself Andrew Carvered. I mean, what's with the snappy entourage? Or like, OMG, what if you were his BEARD and he needed pictures of you and him in the papers in Dubai? Please keep us posted.

]]> sniggles http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595352 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595352 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:45:11 -0800 Comment by Fnarf Um, Angela is wrong. Women in Dubai cannot vote, for the simple reason that NO ONE in Dubai can vote. The UAE has no elected bodies. They do have a shiny new "Federal National Council", which involved the UAE's first ever elections last month, and for which women can vote, but it's a token body that will be rubber-stamping whatever the sheik says. And of course, you have to be a national to vote, which means that 90% of the population doesn't get to, since they are foreign guestworkers.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595367 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595367 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 14:56:28 -0800 Comment by keshmeshi @ 30,

Maybe, but he really needs an eyebrow wax. Yikes.

]]> keshmeshi http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595419 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595419 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 15:33:55 -0800 Comment by Brady I am the friend who saved her from certain rapey doom! Those guys were pretty intense, but drunk as fuck so it was relatively easy to pry the hapless Kelly from their clutches. Before I ended the encounter, they were imploring me to tell her to "grab his dick so we can take a picture"! They make 'em classy over in Dubai, don't they? The only thing that worries me is that before I realized what we were dealing with I gave one of the dudes my card so that he could send me the pictures he was taking. Now I sort of expect some shady motherfuckers showing up at my house to stick toothpicks under my fingernails until I reveal Kelly's address.

]]> Brady http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595477 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595477 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 16:09:05 -0800 Comment by dre hey wait a minute dudes, why the heck was the prince of dubai at a porn convention in las vegas anyway? ps nice slayer shirt kelly...

]]> dre http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595488 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595488 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 16:22:54 -0800 Comment by Fnarf So when did Steve Carell become the Sheik of Dubai, anyways?

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595511 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595511 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 16:45:36 -0800 Comment by sniggles Ha!

]]> sniggles http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595548 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595548 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 17:17:23 -0800 Comment by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me Oh my God. My cousin hooked up with this same guy once in Vegas. Dinner, dancing, a few drinks and a kiss good night got her a $50,000 diamond bracelet a fur coat and a porche. He's all bark and no bite. Easily put in place by a strong woman. (She sold the shit and paid off the rest of her college debt.)

]]> You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595586 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595586 Life Tue, 23 Jan 2007 18:02:41 -0800 Comment by Angela K Darn, thought my research was sound. Well, they can vote, anyway, just as much as anyone else can.

#37 - That is awesome!! Am I anti-feminist if I say I would take that deal any day of the week?

]]> Angela K http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595952 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595952 Life Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:12:03 -0800 Comment by Mike in MO @ 38: yes.

Also, I failed to see the pic with Kelly O in all her glory. Although, it could be a wider shot (would love to get a better look at how she fills out the ratty Slayer T), and what's up with the black bar over her eyes?

]]> Mike in MO http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595976 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/01/someday_my_prince_will_come#c595976 Life Wed, 24 Jan 2007 07:16:18 -0800