At Large Postcard from Stockholm
posted by January 7 at 9:53 AM
onI’m sitting in a Swedish 7-11, which happens to have internet access. I’m on tour with two young American bands, the Clorox Girls and Holy Ghost Revival, a Seattle group recently signed to a Columbia Records subsidiary and packed off for a shoestring month-and-a-half European tour. My brother Conor is the singer/songwriter/ringmaster for the group, which is how I weasled my way into the tour van, which is roughly the size and shape of a paddy wagon and packed like a clown car—it barely holds nine people, their luggage, amps, drums, music gear, effluvia, etc. We also picked up a German in Hamburg named Jens whose primary contribution has been teaching us macho insults in German, including
warmduscher: taker-of-warm-showers
sitzpinkler: he-who-sits-while-pissing
and my favorite
turnbeutelvergesser: gym-bag-forgetter
And what, exactly, is so un-masculine about forgetting one’s gym bag?
“It’s stupid to forget a gym bag,” he said.
I said I still didn’t understand.
“Ach!” he said. “You are weichei. And I don’t explain that one.”
Comments
My fave, which I learned from a high-school exchange student in 1988 and can't spell properly, is "Schlabefuetze," a gynecological concept which can only be rendered domestically by reference to the English slur "Slapper."
well, turnbeutelvergesser isnt a particularly good example of that brand of insult. and a better translation is "someone who forgets his gym class bag" and thats embarassing because he couldnt just sit on the sidelines but he'd have to take part in jeans or some shorts someone forgot in the gym once thats kept for such an occasion and an undershirt, hence making him look like a total loser. it's a high school thing.
oh and weichei = soft balls. i had never heard of what i assume is "schlabberfotze" but it sounds both very crude and funny.
From and Austrian friend:
Weichei = soft egg -> a "softie"
I looked up weichei on google and here is the translation I found: German-English translations for "Vagina; "Weichei" (vulgär)":
So I guess that could have something to do with the other comments about "soft balls" hmmm... I don't remember learning this kind of stuff in Deutsch class when I was in h.s. ;)
This is awesome Brendan! The Stranger desparately needs a dose of real-time European hipness. Keep the reports coming! Or just watch A Hard Day's Night, live it up, put on a mature and intellectual American face, and ignore the slog.
My Austrian friend sent a new one:
Schlappschwanz = soft cock
Schlabe foetze = sloppy cunt. Nasty expression. Weichei is a soft boiled egg = wimp
keep the stories coming!
ok, here is one from my german friend nina, my co-worker on a broccoili farm in western australia,
Wurstgesicht= "you are a sausage face" uummm....
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