??!! Oedipal Much?
posted by on January 18 at 13:51 PM
Via Feministing, check out this amazing story about “Integrity Balls,” the mommy-and-son equivalent of pro-abstinence “Purity Balls” for little girls (the ones where the daughter promises her Daddy that she’ll wait to have sex until she “gives herself as a wedding gift to my husband.”) The basic premise is that boys shouldn’t have sex with the girls they’re dating now, because those girls will probably be somebody else’s future wives. If a girl “gives up a piece of” herself by having sex now, she won’t be able to be fully owned by her husband in the future.
Baker told the young men that the women they had come with, their mothers, were somebody’s daughters, and they meant the world to those parents. He further told them that when they date a girl, she is somebody’s daughter, and they care deeply for her.Baker also told them that while they might not believe it at the time, the girl they may date in high school is probably not going to be the one they will marry. “So you’re dating someone else’s future wife,” he told them. He also told them that someone else may be dating their future wife.
“If you knew somebody was with your future wife,” Baker asked them, “touching her in ways you wouldn’t like, pressuring her, how would that make you feel?”
Girls have to be “pure”; boys just have to have “integrity.” Boys aren’t “ruined” by having sex; they’re supposed to abstain out of respect for someone else’s future property. Girls are defined entirely in terms of their relationships to men: First as daughters, then as wives. And they certainly wouldn’t assent to sex without male “pressure.”
If that’s too subtle for you, check out this story, told by an “attractive 19-year-old” virgin at the dance (how creepy must the adult male writer of this story be?):
She told the tale of a person who had waited a long time to buy the car of their dreams, but when the day arrived to drive it home, the dealer told them that the steering had problems, that it had a lot of mileage on it, and had been in a few wrecks. She likened this word picture to sexual purity and the hopes for a future spouse.
Get it? See what she did there? Girls are like cars: Objects men take possession of when they’re done “waiting.” So don’t put too much mileage on those genitals, ladies!
Speaking of self-control and the meaning of sex, Baker told the young men, “Having sex doesn’t make you a man. Dogs have sex, but it doesn’t make them a man. Guys, separate yourselves from the animal kingdom.”
Oh, and by the way, sex is something only boys want. Girls are just receptacles who consent under pressure from “animalistic,” horny guys.
The event was billed as a “fun evening out for mothers and their sons.” It featured a “clean comedian” and an opportunity for “mothers and sons … to get out on the dance floor together,” where they swayed to tunes including the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody,” which includes the following lines:
Oh, my love, my darling,
I’ve hungered for your touch a long, lonely time,
Umm… Ew.
Thank god you saved yourself for your husband Erica!
Its Mother-Boy XXX!
Broads are nothing like cars. When well maintained cars are reliable and respond in predictable ways. After a few years you are done paying for a car, with a broad your never done paying the price.
Good points Erica. Plus, creepy, creepy, and more creepy!
Besides the CREEPINESS of all of this, they seem to be instilling in young boys that women don't, or shouldn't, enjoy sex, but rather sex is an act of aggression on the part of boys and the only reason sex isn't happening right fucking now is because boys are restraining themselves? Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but these type of events seem well intentioned enough but I think end up doing more harm that good.
Don't forget... these future wives/property of future husbands, also pre-pregnant with those future husbands' future children. So gentlemen, don't be hijackin that future husband's baby factory with your no-integrity demon seed!
If women are like cars, wouldn't you want to test drive it before you bought it to make sure the suspension and wiring is all working correctly? hardly anybody buys a car site-unseen, so that kind of counter-acts the analogy that girls should wait....
I just re-read the post and realized I didn't add anything Erica hadn't already said, and I missed my chance to finally use the word "chattle"...
Oh well. We got time for one more CREEPY?
Analogies are NEVER right. I hate them
So where do the concerned mothers keep their sons' integrity balls? In a drawer in the nightstand? Surely the kids can't be allowed to just walk around with something so precious in their pants. Jesus wouldn't want them to get all sweaty.
Can we please adopt "integrity balls" into the alternative lexicon? As in, "Mayor Nickels needs some integrity balls" or "When John McCain said he supported torture, he lost his integrity balls"?
"Integrity balls" is cracking my ass up so hard right now.
Hey man! Quit touching my pre-pregnant future wife and mother of my theoretical kids!
She told the tale of a person who had waited a long time to buy the car of their dreams, but when the day arrived to drive it home, the dealer told them that the steering had problems, that it had a lot of mileage on it, and had been in a few wrecks. She likened this word picture to sexual purity and the hopes for a future spouse.
The only surprise is that she didn't utter the words "lube job".
Or "poking in a dipstick"?
Or "popping the clutch".
Or "filling her up with unleaded"...
er, um not sure if that works or not.
Or "changing her wiper blades".
Dammit, I've never been very good at this sex talk.
I want a woman who is upholstered in rich corinthian leather.
Besides, all my cars have been used. Car payments are for suckers.
The freakiest thing about it all is how nothing is actually being said about the BOYS should be virginal for G-d, it is all about the girl.
To me the worst part of the article is when it describes another lame story about a groom about to marry his bride when a bunch of other guys come forward to say that they have had sex with the bride. Where's the lesson for the boy in that? Don't marry a slut?
The story should be about WOMEN coming forward and embarassing the groom because he has had sex with all of them and "cheated" on his soon to be wife. I hate that shit.
Your contribution to the snowboarding articles was the very definition of "buzz kill". I can't believe anyone would be so petty and pissy as to bother to beat up this particular straw man. I try to be open minded, but you just keep on sucking.
You are a nerd. Please go away.
I don't have anything to add other than I'd like Catalina (17) to know that unexpectedly coming upon the phrase "Rich Corinthian Leather" made me laugh so violently that I almost peed myself, fell out of my chair and blew part of my brain our through my nasal cavity simultaneously. For some reason I am imaging Ricardo Montalban saying this, a sound clip that I'm sure will be on a permanent loop in my brain for the better part of this month.
Also, yeah, this whole event sounded like the 50th reunion tour of Creepy McCreeperson and the Creeptown 5.
That's right, Sean. Be an asshole to someone who has the power to embarrass you in front of the whole city.
Or maybe you're just pissed because Mommy and Daddy made you wear a vice on your dick.
Three things -
1. Man, I wish I'd thought of that 'rich Corinthian leather' crack, I fell out laughing at that one.
2. It's 'vise,' a VISE on his dick. 'Vice' is what the dick gets him into.
3. Remaking 'The Hitcher?' Don't make me laugh. Nobody, but nobody, will top pre-accident Rutger Hauer in terms of sheer creepiness and physical intimidation. Jesus, write a new script, you packa Hollywood hacks.
So in the meantime the guys can just get it on together until they get married. I like it. Kinda like jail. Can the girls get it on together too? Works for my world.
So in the meantime the guys can just get it on together until they get married. I like it. Kinda like jail. Can the girls get it on together too? Works for my world.
and the ride is so smooth
you must be a limousine
Sean,
I haven't once seen you attempt to be open-minded. You have a hard-on (so to speak) for ECB, because, what? She has opinions or beliefs you don't agree with? No amount of your belly aching is going to get her fired from The Stranger. So, simply put, don't read her posts, her articles, or The Stranger, if her point of view really pisses you off so much.
Dick in a vice? Public embarassment in front of the whole city?
I probably deserve both for posting such a cranky, off topic comment. For whatever it's worth, I sincerely apologize.
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