An addition to Ari’s drinking game, from the great Zay Smith.

For those scoring at home
QT Annual State of the Union Address (Which Is Not to Mention the Democratic Response and Subsequent TV Spin Interviews) News You Can Use:

Touching the nose, touching the face and ears, slurring or stammering, leaning forward, swallowing, lip licking, inappropriate smiling, pauses filled with such words as “uh” and “er,” increased slips of the tongue and grammatical errors, an averted gaze, throat clearing, increased verbal qualifiers such as “generally” and “actually,” expansion of contractions into full phrases such as “didn’t” into “did not,” emphasis of statements with such words as “honestly” and “as far as I know,” decreased finger-pointing, decreased hand gestures in general, tightened lips, shrugging, increased handling of such objects as eyeglasses or papers, decreased blinking, crossed arms, closing the hands into fists and increased sighing and audible breaths are 23 ways, according to researchers, to tell if someone is lying.

Do a shot each time you see one of these signs, and you won’t have to worry about lack of health insurance because you’ll be dead from alcohol poisoning.