For those who love a lil’ extra BEEF in their BEEFCAKE, be sure to tune in to tonight’s much-ballyhooed episode of the CW’s SMALLVILLE (8 pm), which I go on about at length in this week’s I Love Television™. In a nutshell, Lex Luthor is fucking up some shit, which precipitates the formation of THE JUSTICE LEAGUE (or rather a fairly lame version thereof). But as long as they all take off their shirts? No problem here, officer! (You can check out the first 12 minutes of this episode HERE.)

ALSO! Don’t forget to roll those TiVo’s for tonight’s second greatest pairing ever, when faux conservative STEPHEN COLBERT and real conservative BILL O’REILLY appear on each other’s shows! You can hold your nose and catch THE O’REILLY FACTOR at 5 pm on Fox News, and then THE COLBERT REPORT on Comedy Central at 11:30 pm. THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!

ALSO! The increasingly awesome O.C. should be muy hilarioso tonight when stupid fucking hippie CHE takes SETH into the forest on a “spirit quest.” (9 pm, Fox) And did you hear what that bitch MISCHA BARTON (formerly the drippy Marissa Cooper) said today? According to Starpulse News the reason why The O.C. is getting cancelled in six episodes is because the network killed her off, and that SHE was the main reason people tuned into the show! BAAAAAAA-LONEY! As I’ve ranted about on several occasions, if Marissa “Buzz Shackler” Cooper had been killed off in episode two, they may have been able to save this sinking ship. As it stands, we still have six more episodes of the beguiling TAYLOR TOWNSEND, so enjoy ‘em while you got ‘em.

ALSO! I think “That’s so Raven” is a great catchphrase to use in our daily lives. For example, when your friend knocks over a flower vase with her booty? “That’s so Raven.” Or when he or she accidentally drops a bag of dope into the vegan stew? “That’s so Raven.” However, certain things are not “so Raven.” Such as President Bush sending 21,500 additional troops to Iraq? “That’s not so Raven.” Or a drunk Vancouver, WA father killing his daughter while dragging her behind his truck in the snow? “Definitely not so Raven.”
Use the phrase wisely.

So very Raven.